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Showing results for tags 'trauma'.
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I don't know what to do. I feel like no matter what happens things are always going to go wrong. I'll start off by giving you a summary of my life I guess. I've had traumatic experiences, as most people have. I've been abused by my dad growing up. My parents are both hooked on drugs. I was raped when I was five and molested when I was fourteen. I've had three people close to me murdered. One being my cousin when I was eleven, a childhood friend when I was twelve, and I just recently discovered that my aunt's death was also a murder when she passed back in january. I'm always having to watch people I love suffer and die along with having to deal with my own mental issues. I've had hallucinations since I was little and they used to not be a big deal. I would see animals when I was a child and follow them out to random places. They stopped for a while and then came back when I was thirteen. Being nineteen now, I thought I had gotten a grip on my mental issues, but the hallucinating and anxiety is getting worse and more terrifying. I have visual and audible hallucinations of people, animals, blood, and voices telling me to give up or hurt myself. I've been to the hospital twice for extreme panic attacks, self injury, and suicide attempt. I feel like I'm being overwhelmed and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I do see a therapist, but that hasn't done anything for me. I need to figure out a way to handle this on my own before I end up doing something to hurt myself. I'm working two jobs with hardly any down time. I just moved out on my own. I'm trying to do well for myself but these issues are holding me back and it's not healthy. I've been vomiting every day for three months due to stress and I've lost a lot of weight. I've been to the doctor for it but, after running several tests, they said that because it's stress induced that there isn't anything I can do about it. I'm afraid. I feel like I'm falling apart and I've done everything I can think of. I really need to figure out what to do before it's to late... Thanks in advance for any help you can give me.