Sexual issues?

[Raura]

 

Hi, this is my first post, I don't know how to ask, but yes there is nothing wrong in asking, the worst answer can be NO. I'm 30 years old and I already had 3 breakups just because my of my 3.5 in small penis. Can there be anything worse than this. It has made me so depressed and is not allowing me to concentrate on anything. I just feel like the biggest looser in the world. My confidence level had come low. 

Unless one has this condition, you cannot understand what it feels like being worth nothing.

Do I really have any solution to this.

[ShameOnThem]

I mean, there are sexual techniques to mitigate the effect of a small penis on giving your partner pleasure, that come with refocusing off of PIV and working with her to make her feel more pleasure. But when the problem is feeling worthless and is affecting you outside of the bedroom, as it does with many on this board, the solutions are not so simple. The most basic thing is loving yourself. We have so many reasons in this world to dislike ourselves and hatred is all around us, but it is possible to love yourself and love your body despite it's flaws. The biggest hurdle, I think, when it comes to the relationship/sexual problems that come with being smaller than average is PRIDE, and how our own mental problems of insecurity and self-hatred can impede us from being open to love and affection from others. Humans want to feel love, and there are many instances of women and men overlooking shortcomings and flaws in their partners, because they love them. We'll never be playboy womanizers, probably, because of our concern for what other's think of us, but there is nothing disqualifying a small-penis-haver from the love a woman.

Step 1, make her orgasm before you take off your pants, i guess.

I don't know.

[Raura]

Thanks, atleast I got some replies. But my problem is this, all my exes said the same thing, that I'm not worthy of being a man. I'm quite successful in my life. I have a good job, financially stable though I'm not the richest guy. I'm a hard worker etc... But to get attention to anyone is to first give a presentation of the self. 

Also I understand that sex is not everything in life, but it's one of the important to maintain love. No matter how well I dress or talk when it's time covered by four walls and my partner feels that my erect penis does not exists, how can she even think that I'm a man to have relationship. I'm not in my 20s to think that I can proceed with some sort of treatment that may help me before I could confidently do things. I'm 30, I just have another 10 years to reach 40 which I consider to be a border line where I can think of my actualization. 

After all this happened in my life I have a deep depression where I'm not even able to drive properly, confidentially speak to people, I always think of my dark side. I'm not happy with what I have. How can I lead a happy life like others when I don't possess the basic needs.

I'm sorry I think I'm going too much. But I really don't have anyone to speak with. I all alone in the world. All my friends are married and have children. Even my exes found their right person to be with. I don't know what to do. I accept my life is a waste, but I'm not a saint either to live for needy. I'm a person with heart and feelings. Yes, when I'm happy I can help others. 

What can I do now, except to feel bad about the self.

[Shrimp Fried Life]

I'm not nearly as small as you are but my life has pretty much been the same. Except you've been with three women to break up with. I never even got that opportunity.

"I'm 30, I just have another 10 years to reach 40 which I consider to be a border line where I can think of my actualization."

Not sure what you meant by this. I'm sure English is a second language for you so maybe it's just the translation.

I'm 57 so you have a few years to go before you get to where I am.

 

Good luck. It's going to be a long hard road.

[tcnewexp]

I have some similarities to your history and while no two people are the same and our situations I'm sure have many differences, I think my history is close.  I met my current wife 6 years ago, when I was 40. I am slightly under 5" long, but significantly below normal in girth. Very narrow! Which unfortunately does seem to matter. I am somewhat successful with my career and have stayed in good shape. But until I met my current wife, I felt incredibly insufficient because of my small penis. It was an issue with my two other previous relationships, including my first wife of many years. Sex in that relationship was not good, but we stayed together for kids. 

Long story short, I met, dated and married my current wife with the same penis, yet our sexual compatibility is very good. I am still too small to satisfy her with my penis. However, what she gets off on most, is not the sex, it's being desired. So the ways that I talk to her, touch her, and lust after her literally gets her close to orgasm. Add organ and hands and its even better. Fact is, I can't please her with my penis like most men can. I crave a bigger penis beyond what's imaginable because I want to give her everything. But I just can't. With that said, I feel fortunate to have my wife and I know there are others like her out there. 

In the last two years, we have played outside the "traditional" relationship. I will be the first to warn, it's not for everyone and would never push for others to do it. I just mention that for full disclosure. 

I posted this not to say I am fully satisfied or my life is wonderful, but rather to point out there are many paths we can travel and we never know what the future holds. When I was 30, nobody, and I mean nobody, could have convinced me that in my 40's, I would find a new wife, be happily married, and with an active sex life. I don't know what the future holds. I may be 50, broken hearted and alone. Or I may be 50, married and happier than ever. Maybe somewhere in between. Who knows. 

[Victimorthecrime]

Listen Raura, here's the deal: you are never going to be a guy with a big or average size dick. Neither am I or a lot of other guys here. So what does that mean? We are never going to be champion fuckers? Quite possibly. Does it curtail us as men in any other way? No. Can we go on to do great things, live meaningful lives? Yes. 

 

[tcnewexp]

Roger, I believe you are correct.  I guess the point I was trying to make was that my penis can't give her as much pleasure add a thicker penis, all things equal. I know she loves me so we build our own sexual satisfaction by other means,  including intercourse.  I just wish I could give her everything so I do beat myself up because my penis isn't bigger. 

[IrmaJean]

Raura, how did you feel about yourself before the relationships? The reason I ask is because there is some psychological literature that suggests we attract those who treat us the way we feel we should be treated. I don't know if this might be a factor in your relationships or not, but I think Shame makes a good point about loving and accepting ourselves.

For me the greatest pleasure is in the mutual sharing between myself and my partner. When I love his mind and his heart, I will love his body. I know this has not been your experience, but there must be other women out there who are like me...

Are you able to connect with the aspects of yourself that you like? Maybe it helps to shine a light on those qualities to help build confidence and self acceptance?

I hope you feel better, Raura.

[Jessie]

Im surprised to learn those 3 girls said 'you are not a man'

Did they really say that?

I have been dumped by 5 girls over size- but none were so overtly cruel…

[ShameOnThem]

Yeah, I thought the same thing, if they really said you're not "worthy of being a man" then those women are really messed up.

Obviously it's not true, though, penis size does not determine masculinity, and our society is wrong when it tells us otherwise.

[Resolute]

2 hours ago, ShameOnThem said:

Yeah, I thought the same thing, if they really said you're not "worthy of being a man" then those women are really messed up.

they're bitches, period.

 

2 hours ago, ShameOnThem said:

Obviously it's not true, though, penis size does not determine masculinity, and our society is wrong when it tells us otherwise.

someone should set society straight. until then, we should all live in the mountains, away from society.

[Raura]

I'm worried.. better to commit suicide than living a life with such a horrible condition. Why in a the entire world that there is no solution to this. Why am I not born normal, I mean just normal just with what a normal human has.. well I'm going to try to get a ligament separation surgery soon, well if that doesn't help.. I have no other option except to say good bye.. 

[Gryphon]

Not sure if I can offer you any solutions on this. I thought I use to be around 3.5 inches. Over the years after trying different methods on and off. I seem to have gain a little. 

I think I have found what works for me now. I have grown about 1 to 1.5 cm over the pass 2 months. I did this by using the extender and taking low dosage l-citrulline supplements. I also did the balloon method from Dr lin when masturbating. The thing I have learn over the years is that building too much muscles tend to fight with growing your penis. You also need to be in optimal health. Doing enough aerobic exercises to ensure u get enough blood supply to your penis for it to grow. I'm still using this method now. Wearing the extender for 2 to 4 hours a day. I also realise I cant overdo it. It has a negative impact. Also I try to limit my ejaculations as it seems to impact growth.

I'm no doc. Just doing it through trial and error. Hope I can reach my dream of 6 inches one day.

Talking about surgery. I did post on another post. There is one famous taiwan dr. He claimed to have done over 2000 penis surgeries. The current surgery is suppose to take about 1 hr and u can go home after that. Recovery takes about 3 weeks and you can expect gains of 2 to 3 cm. The operation is supposed not to affect your angle of erection and hardness.

Not sure if this is a solution. Hope it helps...