Klingsor Posted October 14, 2017 Report Share Posted October 14, 2017 26 minutes ago, Victimorthecrime said: My family was working class but I can relate to what you are going through. I have horrible mood swings from that go from being giddy w delight to wishing I could kill myself. I have cut way back on the drinking so my social life has evaporated. I have always had jobs I hate. Failure at relationships. My life in one concise paragraph Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted October 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 Sorry if you are feeling down Klingsor. I am struggling w feeling anxious and sad. I just can't seem to make any significant progress on anything. The minute things start to go the slightest bit my way life will drop a boulder in front of me. Today I am feeling bewildered. Asking myself "how?". Is there something chemically wrong w my brain or other physiology? Doing my best - eating better, avoiding alcohol, trying to minimize stress, trying to be proactive. But improvements are around the margins at best. Small 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klingsor Posted October 15, 2017 Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 1 hour ago, Victimorthecrime said: I just can't seem to make any significant progress on anything. The minute things start to go the slightest bit my way life will drop a boulder in front of me. Alone, in my own head, surrounded by my fantasies, everything I plan for works out great. In reality, it never does. It's been like this all my life. I had a high school crush whom I only dated successfully in my mind. As stated before I masturbated to thoughts of current girlfriends but couldn't have genuine sex with them. Same with college, every job I've had...alone in my shitty room in my own thoughts I manufacture delusions of grandeur and success then I actually get there and it's just hell. Thats my life - endless fantasy and escapism punctuated by periodic stints at real life when I want to kill myself. Possibly a mood stabilizer might help like you suggested but I don't know. I should get more exercise but I get demotivated watching other guys and give up. I don't know what to do. Small and Obsolete 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted October 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 It's hard to work a full time job and keep to a regular exercise routine. There are only so many hours in a day and there are other things that have to get done in life outside of work - shopping, chores, housekeeping, paying bills, whatever time one spends w family & friends, pets, downtime, sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted October 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2017 Here's the text of a meme I saw on FB: I never give money to the homeless. They are going to spend the money on alcohol and drugs. I need the money for alcohol and drugs. LostBoy, Klingsor and Obsolete 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klingsor Posted October 16, 2017 Report Share Posted October 16, 2017 "Life is like a shit sandwich -- the more bread you have the less shit there is to eat." Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 8, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 It occurred to me that a man does what he does and does not do what he is not going to do. A man does not waste time and energy worrying about something if that something is something that he is not going to do. A man's sole focus is what he is doing and what he is going to do. For example, everyone in the world could think that a man should do X. If the man is not going to do X he will give no thought to X. He will do Y. That's what he will do. I just solved all of my and your problems. You're welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 12, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 12, 2017 I have never been very handy (to say the least) so anytime I do anything I feel proud. I managed to insulate a drafty window. Three years ago this window was so drafty that it caused a heating pipe to freeze and break shutting down the heat to the entire house and I froze my ass off. Since then I had an electric heater next to the pipe which stopped it from freezing so now I can turn it lower and save money. I wore goggles, a face mask and latex gloves the way the Flex Seal can instructed so proud that I had the good sense to do that. Now that I have confidence I can proceed to other protects w the Flex Seal. And various other small projects around the house. Small, Klingsor, LostBoy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 16, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2017 I am only going to do what I am going to do. The only thing that's going to happen is what's going to happen. This Zen-type shit is not everyone's cut of tea but it helps me connect w reality aka the non-conceptual world. It opens the door to action. And action is the only thing that gets results. LostBoy and Klingsor 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klingsor Posted November 16, 2017 Report Share Posted November 16, 2017 Your post puts me in mind of the beaver. These little creatures just do what they do, seemingly with endless patience and no angst. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 16, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2017 Too often people forget that language doesn't just describe, it creates. Klingsor 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Small Posted November 16, 2017 Report Share Posted November 16, 2017 20 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said: I am only going to do what I am going to do. The only thing that's going to happen is what's going to happen. If this helps you victim then that's the important thing. I'm largely unmotivated in life and as you expressed, fail at turning intention into action. I try to look for mantras or MO's that might give me a push but I fail at it for the most part. You seem to be doing swell so keep it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Small Posted November 16, 2017 Report Share Posted November 16, 2017 Lately I've been struggling to find reason. I read somewhere that depression is being unable to see a future & this is true for me. This might be what underpins a lot of my inaction. I don't know. I'm glad you're not drinking as much these days & I hope you aren't disheartened by how bland life is. It might feel like a step backwards but it isn't. Do you have any pets? I was thinking of getting one for company. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 16, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2017 When I get caught up in worry it helps me to know that there limits ie there is only so much I can do and at certain point I hand it over to fate. It at least simplifies the matter somewhat. I don't have a pet. Not sure what would happen while I am away all day plus they are expensive. But it would be nice to have a big dog that scares people. I am ok. Not completely disheartened yet. Life is hard. Even weathy people get, sick, old, get hurt and disappointed by the people around them. But that said I still engage in positive thinking. It helps me get over humps. Sorry you are feeling depressed sometimes Small. I hope things turn around and you find meaning. Hope the job is going well still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 19, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2017 Considering that I was feeling very tired and achy this morning I actually got a good bit done today. It was looking like a total blow off day but I managed to rally to get chores and errands done. Not all of them of course but an acceptable amount. Small and Klingsor 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klingsor Posted November 20, 2017 Report Share Posted November 20, 2017 I wish I could say the same but I blew the whole weekend. I had so much I wanted to do but when I'm away from work I just collapse. Thanksgiving is next week so I'll only work 3 days thank God. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klingsor Posted November 20, 2017 Report Share Posted November 20, 2017 3 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said: I only have second hand knowledge of this stuff but from listening to sports talk radio and young guys I work with it sounds like a young guy in his 20s that is good looking, good in the sack, and has "swag" and "game" - Tinder is like shooting fish in barrel. So many women are working full time, going to school, etc they don't even want a relationship just a good time. This post depresses me more than anything else on this site. I don't read that thread but I do follow your profile. Why the fuck do I stay alive? I've accomplished nothing, possess nothing, and have no future. Victim do you not take shit at work for being a bachelor? I mean no one disrespects you for it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2017 Sorry if it was depressing Klingsor. It was getting late and I was bored and feeling "Sunday night anxious" and just responding. Keep in mind that as I said it is second hand information so it could be all bullshit. I have only ever personally known one guy that dated a few women from Match.com. The place I work is so PC that no one overtly goes on the attack the way it sounds like they do in your office. But things have been said between the lines that I don't appreciate. YES I am so happy about it being a 3 day week! I took off Monday so really looking forward to the "vacation". I really hope you (and everyone) enjoy it too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klingsor Posted November 20, 2017 Report Share Posted November 20, 2017 It doesn't matter. I find that entire thread "triggering" and that's why it's set to ignore. But I follow your profile. My neighbors are college kids and constantly have loud sex which I have to hear bc the walls in this shitty apt must be nothing more than plywood and drywall. I've got to get out of this place. Where I work is like a frat house. We sit through the same harassment seminars I'm sure you do, and women are protected, but if I were to complain about my coworkers to HR they would make my life a living hell more so than it already is. Less than 5 women actually work at this facility and they're all receptionists/office types. If I were to complain, I can guarantee the mildest thing that would happen would be to find tampons in my desk or similar. I actually saw this happen at s previous job to a guy who complained to a supervisor about harassment. He eventually quit. It's the same old story - had it been a woman she could've sued their asses off and won. A man is expected to pull down his big boy pants, bend over, and take it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2017 I would try to hang in there at work just play along and be a good sport. Eventually you will have the money and résumé to move on from both places. That's my best advice. It's amazing that work environments like that still exist in 2017. People are like hyenas if they sense vulnerability they attack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Small Posted November 20, 2017 Report Share Posted November 20, 2017 I'm useless at handiwork. If i can't get my landlord to fix something i usually ask my (wait for it...) sister. That's right. She's pretty useful at that sort of thing. I spent most my weekend in bed too. Well done @Victimorthecrime for getting shit done. Victimorthecrime 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostBoy Posted November 20, 2017 Report Share Posted November 20, 2017 5 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said: It's amazing that work environments like that still exist in 2017. I agree with Victim on this statement. I'm shocked work environments like this still exist @Klingsor. This would not happen at my place of work. We have several single men and women and they are not "young people". I've never given much thought to them being single and to the best of my knowledge neither has anyone else. If you work for a privately owned company then I could see a higher chance for a "frat boy" or "good 'ol boy" type environment or maybe a masculine type work environment. (welding shop, auto mechanic, etc...) but if you work for a mainstream "Fortune 500 type" corporation I can't imagine this being possible or acceptable. People would be fired immediately for harassment like that at my company. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klingsor Posted November 20, 2017 Report Share Posted November 20, 2017 Nm blah blah my life sucks monkey nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victimorthecrime Posted November 21, 2017 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2017 I'm confused Klingsor. Didn't you go back to school for programming? I was hoping that would get you out of having a job w too much human interaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Small Posted November 21, 2017 Report Share Posted November 21, 2017 Victim do you have any advice for me to improve my work ethic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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