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I'm constantly worrying about bad things happening. (I'm also really new, sorry).


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I'm new here, so I'm extremely sorry if I end up doing something wrong or whatever (formatting, posting in general, etc). For some backstory- I'm fourteen years of age, almost fifteen. I haven't been diagnosed with any sort of mental health issue (I haven't really gone to any pyschiatrists or anything either, though). I've dealt with extremely irrational thoughts since before I can remember. I know they're irrational, but they just keep happening. If I, for example, touch my pet dog I can basically feel the germs he has unleashed onto my hand (I know that's funny wording).  Because of this, I must wash my hands, or else my brain will tell me that I am going to get a disease and die. If I'm away from my house, I get paranoid that I have somehow caused our house to get robbed. I also often worry that if I'm going somewhere alone, someone is going to mug and/or assault me. Because of this, I have to stay at home or near someone else (almost) at all times. I worry about what other people think, presumeably more than a lot of people I know. Those are only a few examples, but I think they get the point across. This whole situation has pushed me to the brink of suicide many, many times, but (ironically enough) I am too worried that, if there is a hell (I'm not actively religious, but I like to stay open-minded) then what if I end up going to it? I can think of many reasons why that would happen, honestly.

My parents don't exactly seem to care all too much about my issues, but then again I think I'm just kind of paranoid. I don't really get along with my dad, so that could also be a reason I suppose. My mom tells me that I can talk to her about my issues and whatnot, but I don't think that's the case; the only answer she ever gives me is that "teen years are extremely difficult", or "well, you can't possibly have anything really wrong with you". I believe in both of these points, it's just that they are never reassuring and they never ease my problems at all. Then again, I shouldn't really expect others to help aid my issues.

Anyway, that was a really long, dramatic 'hello' from me.

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Welcome to our community, Rian. I'm sorry you're struggling with irrational thoughts and that your parents aren't offering you the support you need. :( Your mental health and well-being are very important. Your feelings matter, your struggles matter, you matter. It's good that you reached out.

Would you be able to visit with a counselor or psychologist at your school to discuss your concerns? Can you ask your mom to take you to your family doctor or pediatrician for an evaluation and/or a referral? Your doctor might offer some insight into your difficulties as well as suggestions about what kind of help to seek out.

The type of thoughts that you are struggling with can be a manifestation of anxiety. I think it's a positive sign that you have an awareness that they aren't rational. Maybe as the thoughts come to mind, try to allow them to float by without adhering to them? I understand that is not an easy task. :( The teenage years can be challenging, this is true, but I think this is all the more reason to seek out extra support and guidance when it is needed. Self care is very important throughout our lives.

How are things in your life otherwise? Friends? School? I hope you are able to participate in activities that you enjoy. We all need to get out and play sometimes, I think, to help balance the pressures of everyday life.

Take care, Rian, and keep sharing if it is helpful. Wishing you serenity.

 

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Thank you so much for your kind reply! Also, thank you for waiting so long for a reply from me; my alarm didn't go off, and whatnot. After winter break, I'll probably end up going to the school counsellor. I don't exactly remember the last time I went to a doctor/paediatrician for a checkup (oddly enough). Thank you again, and have a nice day! :)

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