Hello-newbie here

[fhrc92]

Hello. Never used any online resources before so sorry if this comes across strange! I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder at the start of this year (although they don't know where I am on the scale) so I'm still trying to come to terms with all of it. My psychiatrist said he's never seen a case like mine so that adds to the confusion. Last May I was hospitalised for Serotonin Syndrome. Turns out it was a mixed episode and they're not sure about the serotonin but whenever they try me on meds that affect serotonin I get another mixed episode. Anyway, after 2 times in hospital after that I'm now at home during episodes (always mixed) and I'm feeling rather lost. My CPN and psychiatrist tell me some of my symptoms don't match a mood disorder or emotional disregulation, and at the start of this last episode I'm currently trying to get out of they ignored my calls for a week because they want me to learn to deal with it on my own. (I don't want to be hospitalised again...) When they called back they increased my medication. Since October I've only had a month stable. Exhausted and trying my best to keep occupied as I'm not working because of this going on. Hoping that browsing the forums will help me work out some of what is happening and some coping techniques. They won't tell me anything about the illness or how to cope with it so relying on google at the moment! Sorry for the rambling message, I'm struggling dealing with this one my own. Thank you for reading x

[IrmaJean]

Welcome, fhrc92. I'm sorry you're going through so much. You mention that you are currently seeing a psychiatrist and a CPN, but are you also seeing a therapist? I'm not sure why your doctors would not be discussing this with you, but therapy could be helpful to learn coping skills. Medication can be a place to start, but I would think it might be more effective when combined with talk therapy. Is that a possibility for you?

No worries about your post or for rambling (I didn't think you were). I ramble regularly myself...I find it helps me to process what is happening, what I am feeling, to find my voice, and it often relieves some pressure and stress. So I hope you will feel free to express yourself here, in whatever way is most comfortable for you.

I hope you feel better. Take care.

[fhrc92]

My psychiatrist says he doesn't want psychology involved (he has told me this several times) but hasn't said why. I asked to go to counselling as it is separate but he said no to that too. Thank you for your lovely reply, it helps knowing there are people that understand and care x

[IrmaJean]

On 3/22/2017 at 1:32 PM, fhrc92 said:

My psychiatrist says he doesn't want psychology involved (he has told me this several times) but hasn't said why. I asked to go to counselling as it is separate but he said no to that too. Thank you for your lovely reply, it helps knowing there are people that understand and care x

Isn't healthcare that concerns you your choice and your decision to make, though?  Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but that seems (to me) unusual for a psychiatrist to say. Do you have any family who supports you that you are able to share with?

I hope you have a serene weekend.

[fhrc92]

That's what I thought but they ask me what I want, I tell them and they do what they want anyway. For medication I just need to go with what they say (unless I disagree with one-I've said no to one before and they just left it) but when it comes to therapy he isn't interested. He says I have my CPN to talk to, but I tried to explain that I know everything I say goes back to him and it would be nice to talk to someone who isn't going to analyse one rant and possibly change my diagnosis/meds because of it! The answer has just been no and that's it. Tempted to ask my dr because he would refer me without even questioning it. Don't want to go behind psychiatrist's back though so it's a hard one!