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Bjarne

How to accept yourself

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Hi all,

I am new to this forum and this is my first post here! I am a 21 years old guy trying to cope with a small penis (3.5 inch when erect).

I feel like not being able to accept the size of my penis is really limiting my life in many ways. I guess the most important effect is that it really ruins my self esteem which causes me to feel down and anxious in a lot of situations. I really want to get over this and just start accepting me for the way I am. The hard thing is that I don't really know how to get this far. I first thought telling my parents would be a good idea. But then I am also afraid that I will hurt them and they will hurt me and things will only get worse. And even if I would like to tell them, I feel like I do not have the courage to do so. On the contrary I have trying to escape from my problem for a lot of years and not being able to tell anyone about my struggle makes me feel very lonely. 

So I was wondering, what are you experiences in trying to accept your penis for the way it is? 

Thanks in advance!

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Welcome to our community. :)

It's great that you want to accept yourself. That's important for all of us, I think. I hear you that this can be a challenge. I hope that if you do decide to share your feelings with your family that they are supportive. I'm glad you reached out today. I hope you find some positive support here.

Take care, Bjarne.

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Hi Branje,

My experience is just not giving a fak about anyone or anything and drinking/taking drugs to forget everything, but that's not the best way to handle the situation I guess. I've told my girlfriend about my problems, which she couldn't really understand because she didn't feel that way about me. I think it's really important to talk about your problems with people you trust, they will most likely try to help you the best way they can and it will probably be a major relieve for you to not feel so 'alone with your thoughts' anymore. You're still quite young, so I guess the sooner you talk about it with somebody, the sooner you maybe come to a solution for, or a way to handle your problems. 

Good luck mate!

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Exactly what Retsuud said, talk to someone. It's amazing how much power is removed from this issue once you've spoken about it honestly. I mean not just anyone, but someone you trust not to use it against you. I think if you have a good relationship with your parents then telling your parents is a good thing, if you don't have a partner then telling them is definitely is the next best thing. I really thought my missus knew about how I felt, but when I told her she said all those times I'd been affected by it, she thought I was just being awkward. As for accepting yourself, it really starts in the mirror. Most guys affected by SPS hate their physical appearance (or elements of it)) so standing in a full length mirror (don't do this in a clothes store aisle, they don't like it ?) and looking into the eyes of the man staring back was a pivotal moment for me. I told him that I'd hated him since I could remember and that I wasn't going to do that in the future. I told him that I had his back no matter what. No hate, no criticism, just love and respect. He'd been through enough, I know better than anyone, because I was there. Things changed after that day, and I reaffirm it every once in a while. Where are you in the world, Bjarne?

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I try to tell myself it isn't a big deal. Sometimes I believe it and other times I know I am just lying to myself. Other times I try to ignore it. But then it always seems to follow me around. Just tonight I was watching an episode of Impractical Jokers, which has quickly become one of my favorite shows. They had a setting where they were in a speed dating environment, and they told the guy to tell the girl that he has a micropenis. Of course it was all for comedic purposes. Worst part is I was watching with a good friend of mine and he was laughing pretty hard. I had to force myself to laugh along with him so as not to cause any suspicion. That left a sour taste in my mouth. I feel like because of that one incident I can't enjoy the show anymore like I did before. I don't have a micropenis but it definitely looks like one when it's flaccid.

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I have kind of a sixth sense for when a penis joke is coming up. I don't know whether it's because the set up is so obvious as it's an easy laugh or a built in defence mechanism, but I see them coming from a mile away. I'd hate watching something with a whole group of friends, knowing the comedy was kind of leaning that way. But what can you do? Just laugh it off and move on and try not to let it ruin the show, and if it does, watch something else I guess. I've watched a lot of that programme, it's funny, but they're a bit over the top anyway. Have you ever seen Greg Benson do Cell Phone Crashing on YouTube? That's pretty funny. There's a guy called TheHoaxHotel who pranks calls Indian scammers, that's funny too. 

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At its best Impractical Jokers is hilarious.  

Remember, in real life when people make rude jokes or remarks it is a reflection on them, it reveals what's on their mind. A great comeback is "that's interesting, why would you say that to me?".  It puts it right back on them.  

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Thank you all very much for sharing your experiences and advice! I really appreciate it! It makes me feel less lonely :). I thought of not quoting all of your posts since it would make mine a very long post, but reply to them in general. 

I honestly am very scared to talk about my insecurities and that really keeps me withdrawn from sharing them. Like some of you say, trying to escape is much easier, but I guess that is only for the short term. There are moments I am feeling very positive, but also moments when I am feeling down. When I feel I can burst into tears every moment.

I try telling myself that it is not a big deal and that it is not the size of the penis that is actually a problem, but the way I think about it. The problem is not physical but psychological, if you know what I mean. I also try telling myself a lot of times that my body is perfect and not worth less than anyone's else, but it does not work out quite well. 

Right now I am thinking about looking for professional help in September, since telling my parents would probably only cause a lot of fuss. 


Thank you again! :)

 

 

 

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So it has been two years since I first opened up about my small penis on this forum. Half a year ago I finally overcame the fear of visiting a psychologist and experienced that it was utterly helpful for me to talk openly about something that had been a secret for me for such a long time. I started to acknowledge how not accepting my penis was detrimental to many different aspects of my life: I suffered from fear of failure in general, was to scared to visit the gents public bathroom, and never experienced the great fun and intimacy that sex can offer. Why did I keep a secret in spite of all these consequences?

I started to wonder, what would happen if someone or even everyone knows I have a small penis? Will it affect my real friendships? Ofcourse not. In fact, it might even deepen them as I would be able to share an important personal issue and our connections would even deepen. Will it affect my chances to find a partner? Neither, as keeping this a secret would never allow me to have a relationship in the end. Would people make jokes about it? Yes, of course they would, but so what? It would tell more about them and I am strong enough to cope with that. 

With this in mind I started dating someone to expose myself in the purpose of overcoming my fear. It appeared to be a very nice and sweet guy. Ofcourse, I was terrified to have sex with him. However, I told myself: if he does not accept my penis, he is not worth my time. When the moment was there I was really surprised when I found out he did not care at all about my penis size and even called it beautiful. Unfortunately our relationship did not last for long, as I found that I did not fall in love with him. 

So my question to the guys out here that are keeping their penis size a secret in spite of everything: what is your biggest fear?

 

 

 

 

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