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TooOld4This

I did something foolish yesterday

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I did something foolish yesterday — i looked at an ex-girlfriend’s Facebook profile.  
This is somebody i broke up with 28 years ago; you’d think there wouldn’t be any pain anymore.

But there it was: i saw her picture, i remembered her face, i remembered the tears that i saw in her eyes back then.  Tears that i caused.  I did that.  I broke up with her, I made her sad, I caused her pain.  
I want so much to reach back into the past, back to 1989, and erase that pain from her life.  

I don’t know; of course it’s possible that time has already erased her pain, possible that she’s been really happy from 1990 on.  But when i thought of her sadness and hurt feelings, it still hurt me.  So how do i know she doesn’t still hurt, too?  This is what i was thinking.

Sorry, everybody.  I’m whining.  This isn’t anything that’s going to help anyone with their issues.
But i had this really intense sorrow when i saw her picture, so i wanted to unload this.

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It's okay to reach out and need support yourself. We're here to support each other. Give and receive. Receive and give.

I think anytime there is care, there is vulnerability, there is a risk that someone can be hurt. As you said, there is no way to know how she responded in the long term to the loss/hurt. And I hope you won't be too harsh on your younger self. I do hear that it hurts you now. I'm sorry for the painful feelings. :( I hope expressing yourself here helped. Maybe your sharing here does have a way of helping others too.

I hope you have a peaceful weekend.

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On ‎25‎/‎07‎/‎2017 at 8:08 PM, TooOld4This said:

 

I don’t know; of course it’s possible that time has already erased her pain, possible that she’s been really happy from 1990 on.  But when i thought of her sadness and hurt feelings, it still hurt me.  So how do i know she doesn’t still hurt, too?  This is what i was thinking.

I think that often when someone looks back on a relationship they see it as a whole - the good times and the bad. Otherwise why would so many couples who broke up years before find each other and get back together? Hope you won't be too tough on yourself, TO4T.

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