To measure or not to measure

[Guest]

Some random thoughts as I am browsing articles on penis size anxiety issues:

 

A Dr. Dombeck on Mental Health Net describing men with small penis syndrome writes:

“Most of the men who have written us have supplied their penis measurements (it is a habit of such men to do so).”

I can almost detect a roll of the eyes…I agree that our obsession with measuring is rather sad and pathetic, but when you are on the small end there is a valid reason for it.  Your need to see if you are “normal”, or “average” is a burning need.  It helps me greatly to read testimonials of 3.5 inch guys having great sex with their partners.  If a measurement is not included, the testimonial has little meaning for us small guys, as lots of 7 inch guys seem to think they are small as well.  When I see posts from guys with 5 inches (I am 4 inches) mentioning depression and thoughts of suicide, I am hoping they can hear me talk of how awesome my sex life is with my wife and realize that they just need to hang in there and keep searching to find a loving accepting mate as I did.

 

When measuring really sucks:  when you are reading a study meant to give you hope and instead you find this:

 

Came across this in an article  in Bustle meant to reassure about penis size based on the new study published in British Journal of Urology International.

 

“The same study also found that small penises, which would be a penis that falls under 2.8 inches flaccid or 4.7 inches erect, are actually not that common. Yes, they exist, but it’s not like the chances of coming across them frequently should be a concern. In other words, dudes, your penis is probably just fine, at least in the size category.”

 

That soul crushing moment when you are reassured that yes, you exist, but fortunately the chances of someone getting stuck with someone as small as you are very slim.

 

 

 

[YOTH]

I've given up reading these penis size articles, mainly because they're usually written by somebody with an average penis. It's easy to point and say "You're normal" when the rest of society tells you the opposite. I've said this a few times on here, but I have never in my life heard anyone admit to being smaller that 6 inches. It's almost like 6 inches is the freak cut off point for erect size and if you're naturally smaller than 3 flaccid you become ostracized by the locker room crowd who spread the rumour everywhere it isn't. I have a 5.5 inch penis that can be micropenis looking flaccid and although my teens and 20's were a myriad of failed sexual encounters, mostly drunken, I've never had any size related sexual problems in the bedroom. Having said that, I have had erectile dysfunction issues, but again that stemmed from severe depression and drinking. It's such a broad subject that if SPS was a type of music there'd be more sub genres then dubstep and jazz combined. My personal grievance has always been perceived size, but it held me back like actual size. I'm sure guys with actual have gone on to have better sex lives and a deeper connection than some 'average/above average' men. It's a numbers game after all and some guys are just equipped mentally to deal with being smaller, I personally hated it with a passion. I'm not passive, I'm not a pushover and I don't like being humiliated. For some guys that seems to work for them, whether that's in response to being small or because they like it anyway, I'm not sure, again it probably depends on the person. Most doctors who break down penis issues wouldn't even use the term SPS because in their eyes it's not a physical problem, it's a mental one. But if that's true, then being blind isn't physical either, it's just mental, you can still feel, you can still walk, you just can't see where you're going. SPS is the same. You look normal, you act normal, it's just the sex part (which might as well be sight it plays such a role in everyday life) you can't do (in theory). What's the difference? It's not body dysmorphia if people laugh and point, it's physical, it's real. That's not to say that you can't rise above the physical and heal yourself mentally, that's ultimately the only thing we can do. As we get older and we have more control over who sees us naked it becomes easier to manage, but it still stops me from doing lots of things I'd love to do. I love swimming, but it'll never happen, I'll never go. I want to, but the risk is just too high for me. Anyway, I'm veering off topic. Things can and do get better, you just have to let them. ☮

[Victimorthecrime]

I am so burnt out on this topic that I don't trust myself to not say anything stupid so I'll just say that I feel your pain, everyone, and wish everyone the best and pray you find happiness.  

[YOTH]

@Victimorthecrime I've written a few posts this week as it's been tough but then I've deleted them and not posted it. That reply got away from me XD. I'm kind of sad that the forum dropped dead but it is what it is. 

[LostBoy]

I have a tendency to be somewhat OCD about measuring at times. It seems to come and go but recently I have been infatuated.

I think it started when I began researching studies about penis size (over the past month). I literally created a spreadsheet with all of the average sizes and standard deviations of the medical studies conducted. I then took probably 30 measurements over a two week period to determine how I "ranked" among the different studies. Most of the studies referred to 2.5 standard deviations below the mean being in the "unusually small" range and I am about 13% below that limit which means that I am very very small by this definition.

It definitely did not make me feel better, although for some reason when I started the process I was hoping it might. In the end it just reconfirmed what I have known for years and it was quite depressing when I started calculating what percentile that I was in (0.05%).

[YOTH]

It's a funny thing measuring. Apparently I'm perfectly normal, the planet average. But it fails to take into account flaccid size and focuses on erect. My fluctuating flaccid size is my hang up, so measuring for me is useless. 

[LostBoy]

Hi YOTH,

I'm small on both sides of the equation but I could see how being small flaccid and average erect would be somewhat difficult to deal with since most people in casual situations will see the flaccid size and make assumptions or impressions from that.

[Helpless_loner]

We shouldn't but we'll always end up doing it......

 

 

[Lodz]

For a long time i was afraid to measure. Being reduced to a number can be dehumanizing. Particularly when it's your penis and the number is small. Then for a long time i measured obsessively, excited if it was a little bigger, paranoid if it was a little smaller. But in a way, i was coming to terms and facing my fears. Eventually i was comfortable enough to let my ex measure me, regularly. It was more liberating than humiliating, though it was definitely catering to my humiliation fetish.

These days i rarely measure.