Embarrased in Front of My Wife

[LostBoy]

In honesty, I found my wife bragging about her ex's size to a friend via text after we were married. She may have said it was "too big" to me but the text message led me to believe otherwise.

In the end, you just have to try and find ways to overcome it. Lots of toys and time "down there" helps. It may not be a perfect substitute but it helps for sure.

[Powerhouse8000]

5 hours ago, lostboy1 said:

@Powerhouse8000 1) I really wanted to be nude since we had the house to ourselves for an entire week but I felt too "exposed" in front of my wife, flaccid, so I attempted to get the best of both worlds. I didn't wear any pants/shorts/undies so I was "exposed" from that sense but the long t-shirt covered up a full frontal look at me as I walked around the house. The shirt just barely hung below my penis so it was perfect.

2) My wife thought that I had lost my mind but I do weird things all the time so it wasn't too much of a surprise because I had already told her, half jokingly, that it was going to be "nude week" at our house.

3) I think women are different than men in that regard. It's nothing for my wife to wear a long t-shirt through the house with only panties or maybe nothing.

Oh well. Each to their own and all that

[Powerhouse8000]

5 hours ago, lostboy1 said:

@Powerhouse8000 1) I really wanted to be nude since we had the house to ourselves for an entire week but I felt too "exposed" in front of my wife, flaccid, so I attempted to get the best of both worlds. I didn't wear any pants/shorts/undies so I was "exposed" from that sense but the long t-shirt covered up a full frontal look at me as I walked around the house. The shirt just barely hung below my penis so it was perfect.

2) My wife thought that I had lost my mind but I do weird things all the time so it wasn't too much of a surprise because I had already told her, half jokingly, that it was going to be "nude week" at our house.

3) I think women are different than men in that regard. It's nothing for my wife to wear a long t-shirt through the house with only panties or maybe nothing.

Oh well. Each to their own and all that

[Powerhouse8000]

5 hours ago, lostboy1 said:

@Powerhouse8000 1) I really wanted to be nude since we had the house to ourselves for an entire week but I felt too "exposed" in front of my wife, flaccid, so I attempted to get the best of both worlds. I didn't wear any pants/shorts/undies so I was "exposed" from that sense but the long t-shirt covered up a full frontal look at me as I walked around the house. The shirt just barely hung below my penis so it was perfect.

2) My wife thought that I had lost my mind but I do weird things all the time so it wasn't too much of a surprise because I had already told her, half jokingly, that it was going to be "nude week" at our house.

3) I think women are different than men in that regard. It's nothing for my wife to wear a long t-shirt through the house with only panties or maybe nothing.

Oh well. Each to their own and all that

[Lodz]

@Powerhouse8000 there are plenty of co-ed nude spas around here in the bay area. 

But wait, you're saying you're too big to even have sex? Jesus Christ. I bet that is super frustrating, but my initial reaction is still one of extreme jealousy. At least the world we live in looks at what you have as the pinnacle of masculinity, and you don't live your life in shame. Some guys here suffer from the perception of being small when they're really average. Maybe your perspective could help guys like that realize they're lucky. But most of us are actually small. We get laughed at, everywhere from tv and movies, to social environments, locker rooms, and inevitably, in the bedroom. We are conditioned to live in shame, from every angle. Question our own manhood. Try to hide it. Control who knows. Fear the next time someone finds out, knowing they will laugh, privately if not right in front of you. You must realize that is a different order of magnitude of trauma than what you experience on the other end of the spectrum.

[Lodz]

On 10/14/2017 at 10:55 AM, lostboy1 said:

In honesty, I found my wife bragging about her ex's size to a friend via text after we were married. She may have said it was "too big" to me but the text message led me to believe otherwise.

Ouch. I went looking for emails like that ince when my wife left herself logged in on my laptop. Glad i didn't find any. What i found was emails from her friends from back when we started dating telling her i look just like her ex, and that they like me a lot better than him. So there's that going for me. 😁

[LostBoy]

6 hours ago, Lodz said:

Ouch. I went looking for emails like that ince when my wife left herself logged in on my laptop. Glad i didn't find any.

Honestly, that wasn't even what I was looking for when I was reading her texts. I just happened upon it. They were talking about ex's, in general, and my wife said that she looked her ex up on Facebook and he was still extremely hot. She then went on to talk about his size and how it made her sore to begin with until she got use to it. Then there was some bragging about his expertise in oral pleasure.

Needless to say, I felt absolutely miserable after reading that discussion. I think that drove me to one of the lowest points in my life. That occurred about 2 years ago and it still hurts me to think about it. I never did mention it to her and likely never will.

I am very glad though that I haven't seen where she has told others about my size. I'm not saying it hasn't happened but that conversation would have been much worse to me if she had told her friend about my size as a comparison.

 

[Klingsor]

10 hours ago, Lodz said:

We are conditioned to live in shame, from every angle. Question our own manhood.

This is from a hookup site for a guy advertising for couples at a large city in Texas, USA. I won't link to the actual ad because he has pics, but he's not lying about the size. The ad could be fake, the pics are not. It begs the question, if it is fake, what would motivate someone to post it? Moreover, although this guy is much more eloquent than most, it's not unique - I masochistically look at these ads all the time, and it's always the same more or less..."hey, horse dick here for your wife's ecstasy..." So here's the text of the ad: 

          **TRIGGER WARNING**

 

          **TRIGGER WARNING**

 

age: 32 

<q><b>Me: 32, intelligent, educated, handsome, bearded, fit, hung (10 inches and very thick) with stamina and talent to match. I have more than a decade of experience as a bull for cuck couples. I'm seeking a cuckold couple for an ongoing relationship, and I'm very open to training newbies.

You: Attractive wife/girlfriend, or Cuckold husband/boyfriend.

Let's face it, cuckolding is quickly becoming the standard relationship dynamic of our time. The reason is simple, it is a woman's biological need to be fucked by a superior man. Her body's desires cannot be contained by any amount of religious or social engineering. Women need deeply satisfying sex with attractive, dominant, well-hung men to truly feel happy and at ease, which is why more and more couples are starting to reap the rewards of cuckolding.

Do you want to see your wife taken like never before? Do you want to see her with her legs spread wide open, her toes spreading and curling as a giant cock stretches her beyond belief, making her cream and squirt until she goes crosseyed and passes out from sheer bliss? If so, I may be able to help.

Please respond with a brief description of yourself and your experience level, as well as some pictures. Make your subject line:
"Alphas Play and Betas Pay"

I look forward to hearing from you.</q></b>

[LostBoy]

I'm speechless regarding a response to the ad. It hurts to even read it because whether it's true or not it feels "real". My wife's text discussion, with her friend, further strengthens this belief because even though she didn't come out and say that she prefers a larger cock, the unspoken words came through loud and clear 

Circling  back around to my original post, I think all of our discussions explain why I feel ashamed for my wife to see me nude and flaccid. I definitely do not feel like a "man" and even though I consider myself masculine in my hobbies (hunting, fishing, football, billiards, etc...), I do not feel masculine in my body.

All male animals have some aspect that identifies them as "alphas", deer have antler size, peacocks have the size of tail feathers, and there are many other examples. I've often wondered if cock size was this aspect for humans. Since we cover our genitals it's not as clear cut but if we were all naked it makes me wonder if I would have ever had sex.

[YOTH]

I had a comedy bit about 'women who get the D are less angry'. My views were, oh really? It's my contention that you could fuck a woman with a 12 inch cock, make her cum multiple times, flip her over and cook her through, then finish up with a pack of smokes and a kip. One hour after that, she'd be ready to be pissed off about something regardless of your cock size. The Dalai Lama is flipping out about the young monks not using fabric softener on his robes, but she's like a Disney character with birds landing on her head? Leave a towel on the floor an hour later, all that goes out the window, hung or not. Otherwise why would big men like this guy be looking for fantasy sex with a cuck and a sexy wife/gf? Because it isn't real, that's why. This isn't life, it's fantasy. Like every aspect of sex that is meant to spice up and shake the dust off, it isn't long term, it's one off, a treat. And that ain't life.

You guys are perfect, maybe not porn perfect, but only the minority are. Bigger men don't try, they're cock sure. Smaller men aren't cock sure so we make sure. Women prefer that, hence they married you and not king ding a ling. 

[Klingsor]

It's not my intention to make anyone feel like shit. I feel like shit all the time, so I don't know what it's like to live tolerably or what I should or shouldn't post. I'm just trying to get the point across. I honestly don't know how you can draw any sort of equivalency between "big dick problems" and SPS. It's ridiculous. 

My conclusions on the penis issue are as follows: the brain is the most important sexual organ we have. Perception is reality - knowledge is essentially relational, and although the object is the same in every case, perspective determines the relation. Therefore I think the idea or aesthetic of a large penis matters more than the actual size itself. It's appearances. 

In the past, it may have been different because large penises were portrayed as comical or animalistic. But today that's no longer the case because modern life is so materialistic, and the idea of bigger is better is so entrenched, the overriding importance attached to appearances. 

All I know is that not a week goes by that I don't hear some joking reference to penis size at work. Corporate politics is irrelevant - if it's a heavily feminist environment you get the women discussing sexuality openly, if it's a "good ole boy" frat house atmosphere (the kind I'm most familiar with) you get more of the same locker room "heh heh heh, so-so's got a small dick" bullshit. 

Whats important to remember is that perception is not spontaneous, it's manufactured. The homosexuals made big dick obsession mainstream back in the 60's and 70's. There may have been outliers, but on the whole I don't think it was carried to the extreme it is now, not even among the hoi polloi. 

[RonaldU]

27 minutes ago, Klingsor said:

 

But I want to point something...

Cuckolding is not just for the woman... in fact I would say is not mostly for the woman. It has about to do with male desires

[Lodz]

Yeah that ad was super triggering. My ex and I used to respond to ads like that. Oddly it helped me cope, because it helped me see that the premise was just so absurd and the reality was that she did it and she enjoyed it (a lot), but they were just props to her. Walking sex toys. I was the one she connected with. The thing that excited her most was seeing how excited it all made me. Unforrunately it did not end well, but that's another story.

[LostBoy]

1 hour ago, RonaldU said:

Cuckolding is not just for the woman... in fact I would say is not mostly for the woman. It has about to do with male desires

I agree with you. I think many times it is for the guy but I wonder why? Is it because we feel that we are satisfying our lover by providing something we can't give personally? 

I have never done this because I'm afraid it could spark longer term interest from my wife (but I have thought/fantasized about it often). I'm just not secure enough to do this even though I've fantasized many times. The reason that I would even consider it would be that I would enjoy seeing someone satisfy my wife without extra "accessories".

My true fantasy would be to watch her have multiple orgasms with just a cock. I don't know if it would even be possible for her but that's where my fantasies go.

 

[Lodz]

Cuckolding is one thing when it's a fantasy and a whole different mess when it's real. Tbh i miss it and in some ways i want it again. But not with my wife. She is not cut out for that lifestyle at all.

[LostBoy]

Just now, Lodz said:

Cuckolding is one thing when it's a fantasy and a whole different mess when it's real. Tbh i miss it and in some ways i want it again. But not with my wife. She is not cut out for that lifestyle at all.

Hi @Lodz

I would be very interested in hearing your further thoughts on this.

Why do you miss it? What was it fulfilling for you?

Also, if you don't mind saying, why was your wife not cut out for it? Did she become emotionally attached or were there other issues?

I have seriously considered this in the past and I'm just curious what came about through "real" experiences.

[Powerhouse8000]

18 hours ago, Lodz said:

@Powerhouse8000 there are plenty of co-ed nude spas around here in the bay area. 

But wait, you're saying you're too big to even have sex? Jesus Christ. I bet that is super frustrating, but my initial reaction is still one of extreme jealousy. At least the world we live in looks at what you have as the pinnacle of masculinity, and you don't live your life in shame. Some guys here suffer from the perception of being small when they're really average. Maybe your perspective could help guys like that realize they're lucky. But most of us are actually small. We get laughed at, everywhere from tv and movies, to social environments, locker rooms, and inevitably, in the bedroom. We are conditioned to live in shame, from every angle. Question our own manhood. Try to hide it. Control who knows. Fear the next time someone finds out, knowing they will laugh, privately if not right in front of you. You must realize that is a different order of magnitude of trauma than what you experience on the other end of the spectrum.

Well there aren't too many that I am aware of in Scotland where I live, but who knows, there could be, it's just that I'm maybe not aware of them!

But seriously ...

I am maybe about 7-8 inches erect and about 5-6 inches girth? Really not sure, haven't done a proper measurement in a while. Hard to tell exactly, you could get different measurements depending on a number of factors - where you measure it from, how erect it actually is, and so on. So while I'm definitely bigger than average, I am still below porn star size.

Certainly with my ex, sex was very difficult. I found it very hard to get my penis in her vagina. And once it was in, it would often go straight back out again. I have also had similar problems with every woman I've ever tried to have sex with. What I don't understand is how these porn actors with ten inch dicks can have all the sex that they do? Or do the women they are having sex with just have loose pussies?

There is a big stereotype about penis size correlating with race. Everyone knows the stereotypes, whether they are true or not.

But what I wonder about is the correlation between penis size and height. For those guys here that do feel their penises are of substandard size, how tall are they? I am 6 ft 3.

[LostBoy]

@Powerhouse8000 as I mentioned before... Lubricate, lubricate, lubricate. You're definitely large based your measurements but you shouldn't be beyond the level of "acceptance" by most women although women's bodies are like men's and they come in different sizes (different size vaginas).

From everything I've read, there is no correlation to body size and penis size and I firmly believe this. I am 6'1" with broad shoulders, big hands, and big feet and I can guarantee that I'm not proportional.

[Lodz]

@Powerhouse8000 that is big indeed, but not a monster. If you know what you're doing, you can slip that in no problem. Get her turned on, and do some foreplay, so she lubricates herself. Go down on her. Make her cum. Maybe twice.

In other words, do all the things a guy with a tiny dick would do (and be grateful for it like we would), and then she'll be more than ready for you to pound away.

[Lodz]

@lostboy1 without getting too graphic for the easily triggered, i miss it because it was really really hot. I feel like it's the only way for me to be part of a sexually fulfilling relationship (and it was, even when it was just the two of us). It made her sexier to me, and me sexier to her.

My wife is not cut out for it because she is a fearful person by nature, and also extremely empathetic. She has told me she would not be able to enjoy being with another man because of her worrying how it might hurt me. I know her well enough to see that this is the truth. It would mess her up.

[Powerhouse8000]

Thanks guys, have got another date with a new woman this week. Will see where that goes.

If it goes well maybe I could be getting laid again soon, you never know!

[Lodz]

@Powerhouse8000 @lostboy1 i am 5'6 and built small. Nobody ever expects that i'd have a big dick, but they're still stunned how small i am.

I am bisexual and used to be very promiscuous, and in my years of experience trolling bathhouses, i found that the biggest cocks are often on tall men, but not always. The biggest i ever saw was on a super muscular white guy who was about 5'1. Guy was walking around swinging 10" of limp dick damn near down to his knees.

As for race, i've noticed that black guys are typically bigger than white guys, but the biggest ones i've seen are mostly white guys. The stereotype about asians seems very true though, in my experience.

[LostBoy]

13 minutes ago, Lodz said:

My wife is not cut out for it because she is a fearful person by nature, and also extremely empathetic. She has told me she would not be able to enjoy being with another man because of her worrying how it might hurt me. I know her well enough to see that this is the truth. It would mess her up.

@Lodz thanks for the information. I would think this would be my wife as well. She would not be able to relax in this situation due to the fear that she would be hurting my feelings and in reality, it might actually hurt my feelings if she really really enjoyed it.

[Klingsor]

On October 17, 2017 at 10:14 AM, RonaldU said:

But I want to point something...

Cuckolding is not just for the woman... in fact I would say is not mostly for the woman. It has about to do with male desires

Exactly. It's a male fantasy. Obsession with dick size is a male thing. I've said this for years. It started in the bathhouses and later locker room culture with athletics. Homosexuals made it mainstream. Feminist women naturally picked up on this and realized it could be used as a particularly cruel "pro choice" manifestation of their sexuality. Again, perception shapes the reality...the idea that huge cocks are the best has become so ingrained now in the popular imagination that some women probably truly require one to feel pleasured or satisfied. It is entirely psychological. But cuckoldry, by and large, is a male fantasy.

[Lodz]

It is a male fantasy, first and foremost. But there are women who enjoy it and even a few who specifically seek it out. I dated as a prospective cuckold for almost a year, met and actually dated 6 women and had a long term relationship with the 6th. Of those 6, 2 were specifically looking for a cuck and had experience, 2 were dominant women who were jnterested in trying it out, and 2 were just slutty and liked the idea of trying a new kink that involved sex with multiple men. I ended up with one of the latter. I also emailed and talked with probably two dozen other women who were interested in that lifestyle. So yeah, there are plenty of women who are into it, but it's driven by the men. They onky know they're into it because a man wanted them to try.

The idea that huge cocks are the best is culturally driven. There are some women, though few, who really do want the biggest of the big, but for most women, average or a little bigger is what they consider ideal.

As far as women becoming more vocal about size preference, i think that's mostly a result of it being more acceptable for women to talk about their preferences at all, particularly naughtier preferences. I think there is a bit of it that is a backlash against patriarchy, a kind of way to get the upper hand over men in some kind of way. But mostly it's a legitimate preference and component of their sexuality. Men in the past were shielded from this reality because women weren't allowed to be promiscuous, so they either weren't experienced enough to have preferences or were far too ashamed to talk about them.