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Whateva

Suicidal thoughts again

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It's been a while since I've had these thoughts and now they're back and stronger than ever. I want the eternal sleep. There's too many things from too many angles and I'm falling into the pit. I'm sooo tired and I can't deal with the plethora of bullshit that seems to magnetically attracted to me. I can't think clearly and I'm seeing threats that might be real but might be nothing. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want advice, I want to sleep. I feel about as on the ledge as I could be and this place just keeps coming, it's relentless. 

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Hello and welcome!

I hope you're safe, despite everything... :redface:

Is there a possibility to take a break, to have a deep rest from your every-day life? You would sleep a lot, relax, ... Does that sound tempting? If yes, could you try to obtain a sick-leave?

Anyway; I'm trying not to give you advise and not to ask about the problems as it's not what you want. But in case you change your mind, we are here to listen and to support you.

Take care! :sad_huggy:

 

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I'm sorry, my post isn't helpful or insightful... I was writing under some time constrains and with several interruptions. It's not much better now, but I'll try to do my best :redface:

I care for you.

I can relate to your suicidality; I've been experiencing it, more or less, for years, with many "better times" every now and then. (But I haven't attempted because I don't want to hurt in such a terribly painful way those who love me.) And thanks to this forum, I know many people who think, more of less often, about the same. This doesn't make me a good advisor, though. I'm just mentioning it so that you don't feel not understood or somehow dismissed. The problems that cause the thoughts are real (although we often don't understand their true nature / what's hiding behind the manifestations of the problems), the feelings they evoke are real, the longing for relief is real, so is the need for help. But the wish to die is just an extreme form of "interpretation" of your true needs. I know they seem impossible to meet now, but things change and new help can sometimes come even unexpectedly. But often, we have to make a few first steps, search... You've done the first step; you've joined this forum :) . It's also a sign that there's at least one part of you who wants to live and get better and understands that you do need some help, at least some understanding, support, a place to vent / complain / share. 

Who's been helping you in the past and how? Are you in therapy? 

I hope we'll hear more from you soon...

Edited by LaLa

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I'm so glad to hear you're doing OK!

In any case, you have a place here to come when something like that, or different, happens again ;) .

Take care!

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