Coming to terms with having a 4.5 inch penis. Feeling suicidal. How do I cope?

[LaLa]

Hi, Thomk, welcome!

Your post is brief and I don't have much time now, so I'll be brief, too. What about learning to look at life from a new perspective? Here's some inspiration:

Good luck!

[2thin2win]

Guys - no one on here is really that small so stop telling yourself you are. It's a very hard road from there.  You only have one life to live and if you live it in fear of an irrational problem, then you are ruining you're one chance at happiness in life. I've had countless woman tell me how small I am and one even didn't let me have sex with her because I was so small. Did that stop me from having sex as much as I could.....heck no. If I took an approach like many of you, I would never have met my current wife of 15 years and never had three beautiful boys to raise. And btw, my first child came out of my wife in about 10 minutes, doctor said he's never seen anything like it so she has a bigger vagina than most woman. By the third kid, it was like throwing hot dogs down a hallway when we had sex.  I know she can't feel me inside and probably wants something bigger but she never once said anything to me except for "it feels so good".  Please go and live your life to it's fullest because I can promise each and everyone of you that a good girl (one that you would want to marry) would never make you feel bad about yourself....never, even in the worst situations. I think of it this way, be happy that your penis is a little smaller than normal because the girls you don't want will  weed themselves out.  You know that the girl is not with you because of your penis.

[PDXsUnHungAndUnsungHero]

17 hours ago, 2thin2win said:

You only have one life to live and if you live it in fear of an irrational problem, then you are ruining you're one chance at happiness in life.

I know, man. And that's one of the reasons I joined this site is because I want to stop having this prevent me from experiencing love/sex. I don't know if you've seen my "A Big Step for Me Today" thread, but I have made a lot of progress already and the first girl I had ever opened up to about this stuff even wants to see me now and we had our first phone (voice) conversation, so like, I am trying!

 

17 hours ago, 2thin2win said:

I know she can't feel me inside and probably wants something bigger but she never once said anything to me except for "it feels so good"

Aww, well you're a very lucky man then.

 

17 hours ago, 2thin2win said:

I think of it this way, be happy that your penis is a little smaller than normal because the girls you don't want will  weed themselves out.

I like the way you think, 2thin! We need more members like you who are positive about this stuff! Thanks for the awesome inspiring comment. But I don't think you've ever told anyone on here your exact size. I'm very curious.

[2thin2win]

I haven't really measured in the past, I just know that many girls in the past commented on my size and some were not so nice. I measured tonight and it was 4.5x4.  Funny thing  though, I used to date girls that had four things in common: smoking, tattoos, drinking and promiscuous. These were the girls that were mean. I dated two nice ones, one being my current wife and neither has said anything to me. I guess my point is that normal nice girls who YOU want a relationship with will never be rude to you and always just try to lift your spirits.  Those are the keepers. Think about it, would you be rude to a girl that has a flatter chest or maybe is chubby......no way, right? well they feel the same about you. 

 

I'm glad to hear that you're making progress with the one girl. That is awesome!! Good for you. PLEASE PLEASE do not dwell on it in front of her when you meet her. Be confident all the time. I know one thing, girls wants to be taken care of and you have to show her you can take care of here, not the other way around. Confidence will take you a long way, both social and in business.

[GoingInsane]

Dude! 4.5" to me is not bad! I at my best was only 4" bone press and that's like when I was 20 years old! Today, it is 2" if I can get it to erect! I have lost my sex drive ever since I got diabetic, obese, hypertension, cholesterol and ED. If I m a midget that would still be ok but I m 175cm tall!  I have been bullied since I was around 10 years old and I didn't even know it. I have been taken advantage of by pedophiles and was briefly brainwashed to think I m a transgender female... and I have been called "small dick" by my gf!  And for the last 37 years I have not experience true romance, no satisfying sex and always hiding from social gathering. 

So 4.5" (4.7") I wish I have that... You are ok man, don't worry.

[PDXsUnHungAndUnsungHero]

20 hours ago, 2thin2win said:

I guess my point is that normal nice girls who YOU want a relationship with will never be rude to you and always just try to lift your spirits.  Those are the keepers. Think about it, would you be rude to a girl that has a flatter chest or maybe is chubby......no way, right? well they feel the same about you. 

Yep. And I am so glad to know that I have met a nice one. She's so sweet. I can't wait to see her! God, I would see her right now if I just looked the way I did in the summer. But I have been working out every day and I already can feel my confidence growing day by day!

20 hours ago, 2thin2win said:

PLEASE PLEASE do not dwell on it in front of her when you meet her. Be confident all the time. I know one thing, girls wants to be taken care of and you have to show her you can take care of here, not the other way around. Confidence will take you a long way, both social and in business.

Yes, yes, I know. But when I say she's so sweet, like I mean it. I think we could both help eachother feel less insecure about ourselves, it's going to be great. When the time comes to do fun sex things with her, it's going to be tough for me to not be like "I hate my dick, I'm so sorry my dick is this way" but I'm not going to dwell on it and make it all about that. It's just the first time is going to be tough, even though she already knows. I'm scared for that first sexy time

[PDXsUnHungAndUnsungHero]

5 hours ago, GoingInsane said:

was briefly brainwashed to think I m a transgender female... and I have been called "small dick" by my gf!

I would really like to know more details about both of these statements, I am really curious (especially about the first one).

[2thin2win]

@unsung - man you don't know how good that feels to hear. I wish you all the luck in the world. You're on the right path, it's there waiting for you just go out and grab it. Also, remember that most girls are going to be like this one in terms of attitude so if it doesn't work out for any reason, there's a lot more out there.

[2thin2win]

I don't think it matters between 3" and 4".  I have read that if you're under 3", it's a medical condition called micropenis and can be corrected by inducing a second puberty and surgery. At least you got that, they won't even do surgery on me.

[LostBoy]

8 minutes ago, 2thin2win said:

I have read that if you're under 3", it's a medical condition called micropenis and can be corrected by inducing a second puberty and surgery

4.5" is within 1 SD of average penis size and 68% of guys fall within +/- 1 SD. Medically, anything outside of 2.5 SD below average is considered a micropenis and this means that roughly 98.8% of men are larger than this. Depending on the study, 2.5 SD below average can be anywhere from <3.4" to <2.8" bone pressed but everything I have seen indicates doctors do not recommend surgery unless you're less than 3" bone pressed. Surgery has an extremely low success rate and even when successful it has a host of problems. My understanding is that a reputable doctor will only perform hormone treatments on children (not adults) diagnosed with a micropenis.

[GoingInsane]

On 1/4/2018 at 3:45 AM, PDXsUnHungAndUnsungHero said:

I would really like to know more details about both of these statements, I am really curious (especially about the first one).

@PDXsUnHungAndUnsungHero  I was in swimming team and every time we got out of the pool, every guy have the bulge between their legs except me. You can guess what sort of things they called me. But I was not mature enough to understand the different between male and female sexuality. I thought it was cool to act what they called me bcoz it made them laugh. When I finally mature and understood it, I felt so humiliated, hated all those guys and hated swimming to this day. Anyway not much else to say for things that happened over 40 years ago.

[emed27]

So @GoingInsane‘s comment about how “not that bad” I am made me feel a bit  better about myself and gave me a boost of self esteem. But then I read @2thin2win‘s comment about being humiliated and even rejected at one point and brought up the fact that we’re the same size and the shame and depression case rushing back. Damn, I never win 😔

[YOTH]

@emed27 

[PDXsUnHungAndUnsungHero]

8 hours ago, emed27 said:

So @GoingInsane‘s comment about how “not that bad” I am made me feel a bit  better about myself and gave me a boost of self esteem. But then I read @2thin2win‘s comment about being humiliated and even rejected at one point and brought up the fact that we’re the same size and the shame and depression case rushing back. Damn, I never win 😔

You guys are both bigger than me but yet I'm the happiest I have ever been the last few days. Chin up! Think positive! Not all of society cares about the size of your dick, I have proof of that in the form of the wonderful girlie who I literally cannot wait (like I can't wait) to swoop up for the weekend. She loves my dick (she even said that, although she is really good at saying things she knows I would love to hear lol) but I do know that she did get off with it (amazingly), so...anyways, I just wanted to post my positive story here to help battle all of these sad emojis I am seeing.

[2thin2win]

@emed - every girl is going to be different. I just happened to be promiscuous when i was younger. If and when you ever plan to have casual sex, it's probably a given that the girl will complain about the size. Think about it, in that situation the only thing she wants is sex so she's not that happy when she finds out about the small package.  I wouldn't subject myself to casual sex anymore, even if I weren't married. If you do, you just open yourself up to humiliation.

When you meet a girl like Unsung did (congratulations by the way), they really don't care. I'm thinking that Unsung's girl as well as my wife had little to no casual, one night flings. They are the good ones that care about other things than dick size.

A relationship and casual sex are two VERY different things and provide the girl with very different experiences.  There's no such thing as shame and depression when you meet the right one. Trust me on this one. 

 

[emed27]

@2thin2win Wow, that was pretty harsh but very true. I guess I try to convince myself at times that I’m “not that small” and that it’s all in my head. But the reality is that it’s not. It’s very depressing to know I can’t “hook up” or have casual one night stands like people my age are doing. There might be no shame and depression when meeting the right one but living with this condition day to day and realizing i will most likely get complaints if not in my face than behind my back if i would to ever muster up the courage and “hook up” with someone definitely comes with a lot of grief and negative emotions. Thanks for keeping it real man. I think I’m starting to come to terms with realizing that the people who are telling me that I’m “not that bad” on this website are just trying to make me feel better. Just accepting the fact that I have a tiny penis is really hard. Idk, maybe one day I’ll get to a point where it won’t consume my life. But for now my life is just filled with grief and depression. 😒. Thanks for the reply man.

[LostBoy]

@emed27, you are 4.5" by 4.7". I'm not sure if you are measuring bone pressed or not but regardless you are 1.1"-1.8" longer and 1" more in girth than me. I don't consider you tiny and frankly I'd easily give a finger or toe to be your size.

Are you a porn star? No. Should you be able to have casual sex without too many issues? Hell yes. Only size queens should have an issue with your size. You fit into the "normal" range where about 75% of men fit.

There are two types of people with SPS, those with truly small cocks and those who think they are small but who are really in the "normal" range and you are definitely the latter.

I just wanted to make sure that you realized this.

[Victimorthecrime]

@lostboy1 - have you ever spoken to an actual medical doctor about it?  I would love to see you feel better about it.  Check out this article: 

https://www.google.com/amp/www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4577010/amp/How-testosterone-make-penis-DOUBLE-size.html

[LostBoy]

2 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

@lostboy1 - have you ever spoken to an actual medical doctor about it?

No I haven't. I probably should discuss it with a doctor but I haven't been to one in many years due to embarrassment frankly.

I've heard hormones and such works for adolescent boys and younger who have size issues but at my age there doesn't appear to be much that will help safely or without major side effects.

[emed27]

@lostboy1 I’m actually 4.5 , 4.7 on a good day with a 4.5 girth. And no this isn’t bone pressed. I’ve always thought measuring bone pressed was like cheating a little bit. And i wanna believe you when u say I’m average, but I just cant. You heard what @2thin2win‘s experience was like. Thank you for your positive words tho. I really do appreciate it. 

[LostBoy]

9 hours ago, emed27 said:

I’ve always thought measuring bone pressed was like cheating a little bit. And i wanna believe you when u say I’m average, but I just cant.

I understand what you're saying about bone pressed measurements being "cheating" but if you're goal is to compare your size to the world then bone pressed is how that is scientifically accomplished. All studies that have any legitimacy are using bone pressed measurements. If you are 4.7" non bone pressed then, unless you're very skinny, I would guess that you're probably 5.5" bone pressed. Depending on which study you use, you are either dead on the average or a little above average.

I don't understand why you can't believe me but so easily take someone else's words to be the gospel but, regardless, don't believe me and just look up the dozens of scientific clinical studies that are online and when I'm saying scientific I'm talking about medical studies and not an article in Cosmo or Maxim.

[LostBoy]

@Victimorthecrime, I checked out that article and this guys seems to be a fairly unique case where testosterone might help. All other articles and studies I have read indicate that supplemental testosterone and hormones given in early childhood through pubescence have a high level of success at increasing penis size but once puberty is over it doesn't really do much good for penis growth (otherwise our penis's would never stop growing because a normal male continues to produce testosterone throughout his life).

I don't think that I "fit" into the same category as the guy in the article. I have no problems growing facial or body hair and even though I have never had my testosterone levels tested I'm guessing that it is likely within the range of being "normal". I keep saying that I'm going to have it tested just out of curiosity but I just haven't done it yet.

[Victimorthecrime]

@lostboy1 - I hear ya and point taken. I am not trying to toss out snake oil or false hope but rather just want to encourage you to explore all options just like you would in a business decision.  

A lot of guys are low T even those that show no symptoms. Perhaps T is not normally associated w penis size but 1) that could be because no one is looking at that statistic and 2) you could be that one in thousand guy that it does help 3) I am not saying testosterone is the only possibility; there could be other things - HGH, certain exercises, whatever but say if you came away w 1/2" gain think how good you would feel.  

Lastly, if you're like me sometimes I feel better about things once I know I have left no stone unturned.  I look back and say "well I did everything I possibly could" and that allows me to make peace w it.  

How's business? Everybody hitting their numbers?  Is yours a publicly traded company? Do you have stock options?  

I had a good week, was in the office at 7am everyday, even Monday when we had an ice storm and a lot of people called out.  

[LostBoy]

@Victimorthecrime - I know you're trying to help and I hope I didn't come across as ungrateful. I really enjoy our dialogues!

I do need to go have my T levels checked, you are absolutely right in that regards. I don't like leaving any stone unturned either. Based on what I have read, even if I have low T I do have some concerns about the side effects of supplemental T. About 6 months ago I started taking several supplements that are supposed to help in improving your natural T production. Who knows if these are snake oil or not but they don't seem to have any major downside other than wasted money. My size hasn't changed but I definitely have a stronger sex drive and my "morning wood" has returned. The sex drive I could argue could be placebo related and just in my head but the "morning wood" tells me something is happening chemically in my system because I had stopped having that over the past few years.

Business is doing well and the tax changes seems to really be boosting the US economy as well as my company's. We are basically sold out for 2018, which is a good place to be in our business. We are publicly traded but we pulled out of the US stock market several years ago due to the efforts required to maintain Sarbanes-Oxley reporting. We are traded in Europe and Asia. I am fortunate enough to have stock options and lately I have sold some and turned a nice profit that I reinvested.

I'm glad you had a good week! It has been cold in Texas, as well, but nothing like your area. Hang in there and drive the change you want to see!

[LostBoy]

@emed27, as I mentioned, don't take my word for it. Go to the scientific studies that have been conducted ( Veale, D., Miles, S., Bramley, S., Muir, G. and Hodsoll, J. (2015), Am I normal? A systematic review and construction of nomograms for flaccid and erect penis length and circumference in up to 15 521 men. BJU Int, 115: 978–986. doi:10.1111/bju.13010 ).

The range in these studies was 5"-5.7" as an average for bone pressed erect length and 4.5"-4.8" in erect girth (remember that this means that 50% of all males are smaller than these numbers). No matter which of the 20 different clinical studies you choose to believe you are as normal in size as they come. No, you're not porn star status but there is no logical, medical, or analytical reason to believe that women, in general, would have any issues with your size. I'm not trying to discount the way that you "feel" I'm just trying to explain that the way you feel is within you and is not representative of how others would see you or your size.

Go forth and procreate and be happy! You have nothing, regarding your size, that would be embarrassing to anyone other than you.