Small penis, diasability and abuse

[Sickandtired]

I have lurked occasionally in this forum but my depression is getting worse and decided I needed to post. I have a little over a 5 inch dick but am tiny flaccid, have been laughed at by both men and women and so need to vent. Christmas is coming up and will be another sad lonely one for me, due to my disability which leads to social exclusion, thinking about all the women I friend zoned due to extreme body shame. I also am on the autistic spectrum and suffer with OCD and autism as well as occasional panic attacks. I will be alone on xmas, the last time I saw my father he called me some terrible words (can't say them cos the post would probably be removed) punched me 4 times in the face (with my disability I can't really defend myself) and said he wish he would have had an abortion.

Essentially my genetics have won the day, I'm one of life's losers. I have posted on reddit before but was told that at over 5 inches non bone pressed I have small penis syndrome and not a small dick, my life experiences would beg to differ. People who would never shame me for my physical and mental disabilities would, happily do so for my dick size, even though none of them I choose, and none of them define my character as a person. I've had to sit to sit in the lunch room at work whilst women laugh about small dicks, unable to say to them that this is one of the reasons I attempted suicide. Then the next day they say to me that as a man I'm so lucky as I don't have to worry about my body, again I can say nothing despite the mind numbing hypocrisy.

 

The more I see it this is a cold judging world where if you don't fit physical and social norms your essentially worthless. I often agree with my Dad as the genetics I have been given have made my life very difficult. My brother has none of these issues and is happily married. Having to go in for medical tests is shit, as I worked in healthcare and now I will be a laugh for the nurses behind closed doors. I really don't know how much more I can take. Needed to vent thanks for listening.

[Lodz]

Thank you for sharing that @Sickandtired. 

Women can be so hypicritical about this, you're dead right. It really says something to me that you have disabilities (plural?), but SPS holds you back as much as or more than those. 

But on the bright side, you're actually not small length-wise. I totally get it that you feel like you are. When you've been made fun of, is it because your flaccid is small?

Your father sounds like an abusive person. Nobody should ever talk to their child like that. Particularly a disabled one. I'm guessing your father has his own issues he needs to deal with, but treating you like thatbis unacceptable. I hope you find somewhere good to spend the holidays.

[LostBoy]

@Sickandtired we all have our struggles and it sounds like you definitely have your fair share with everything you have told us. I recommend clinging to the good that you have and that you experience and try and stay away from the negative.

It sounds like your father is volatile and as @Lodz said, he probably has a host of his own issues that he is unleashing on you. Your best move would be likely to create distance in that relationship.

I hope that you have some other family members in which you can lean. Or at the very least some friends for the holidays. Reach out to them. Don't shut them out because that can make the holidays so much more difficult.

I'm sorry that SPS haunts you because it sounds like you have several others issues which also need your focus. Even though, unfortunately, you may feel small, fortunately you may actually be above average if erect you are 5" non bone pressed (depending on the bone pressed measurement). At the very least you are dead center average. If the flaccid look is your concern then I can sympathize with that as well but at least find solace in the fact that erect is when it matters the most. Flaccid may be for looks but erect is for action!

I do appreciate you sharing with us and I wish I could solve your problems but unfortunately all I can offer is my empathy and support. please continue to reach out to us as you go through this struggle and rest assured, on the SPS issue, you are among friends here.

[Sickandtired]

Thanks for the replies lostboy1 and Lodz  I have lurked here for some time and it seems like a supportive community. Yeah my flaccid size makes me look pre pubetal, I had to stop communal showering due to so called "jokes" not so funny when your on the receiving end. I think it's also due to having peno-scrotal webbing which makes me look even smaller than I actually am and am sceptical that 5.5 bone pressed is the average but that's SPS for you. Due to my mental health issues I am close to having a panic attack whenever anyone see's me naked. I actually talked to a therapist about this and was visibly shaking and couldn't look her in the eye, such was my level of shame. Silly when you think about it, I would be ashamed about the size of my ears but the power of SPS can be all consuming, early shaming can have a lasting impact.

In regards with my Dad I have so little regard with him as a human being it didn't effect me as much as you think, you can choose many things in life, your genetics and parents you can't. I'm depressed mainly because I've not always been this disabled and with too much time on my hands I think about the past and some kind nice women that I still friend zoned out of shame. Being disabled leads to social exclusion which worsens depression, which worsens SPS which is a visciuos cycle really. Anyway thanks for listening, it helps to know people care.

[Lodz]

You're suffering how a lot of us have, and many more do, but you have the advantage if being self-aware enough to recognize that your fears are holding you back more than the thing you're afraid of.

You mention women you have friend-zoned. That means you're in demand! More men get friend-zoned by women, and feel shitty about that. It happened to me many times and i always thought, "it's because i'm small; she can tell." 

In any case, since you have that awareness, remind yourself that these women who are interested in you have very very likely seen smaller ones than yours, and aren't going to be disappointed at all. Easier said than done, of course.