My Son has been Diagnosed with Micropenis

[Wesma]

As the title states, my 3 year old son has been diagnosed with micropenis. He also has undescended testicles and underdeveloped scrotum. I was a preschool teacher and out of hundreds of little boys whose diapers I've changed, I knew something was different with my son. I was blown off by his doctor when he was two, but after waiting and seeing no change I demanded a referral to an endocrinologist. 

It may take months until we can see someone. In the meantime I am reaching out to see if there are any of you who may have information as to why this may have happened and any research or experience on what may be done to not just help him in terms of his physical health, but also his mental and emotional health in the event that this is not something that can be resolved.

I am extremely grateful for any guidance on this topic. I know if my husband had had a very small penis, I would love him just as much, but I can only imagine how much emotional pain this might cause. 

[YOTH]

It's a good thing to see that you've spotted the issue, a lot of mothers would be in denial and never address it. I don't know what you can do about it or why it comes about, I've heard people talk about hormone injections, but don't quote me on that, it's a discussion to have with a professional. His mental health as he gets older will really depend on him, there are plenty of men who suffer from this condition that love themselves and don't suffer as much as others. Some guys can really get down on themselves. I really don't know what to say, it's tricky. But I wish you a world of luck and he's really lucky to have such a loving mother who isn't living in cloud cuckoo land. Good luck

[Wesma]

1 hour ago, YOTH said:

It's a good thing to see that you've spotted the issue, a lot of mothers would be in denial and never address it. I don't know what you can do about it or why it comes about, I've heard people talk about hormone injections, but don't quote me on that, it's a discussion to have with a professional. His mental health as he gets older will really depend on him, there are plenty of men who suffer from this condition that love themselves and don't suffer as much as others. Some guys can really get down on themselves. I really don't know what to say, it's tricky. But I wish you a world of luck and he's really lucky to have such a loving mother who isn't living in cloud cuckoo land. Good luck

Thank you! 

[Someday]

Much like the previous poster said, I have read that testosterone injections may or may not help. I don't recall exactly what it was so it would be best to talk it over with a medical expert. I wish I could go back in time and have my parents explore that option. I'm guessing this wasn't really too much of a known topic in the late 70's / early 80's like it is now. As for his mental state, who knows, he may end up having confidence or he may end up like the majority of us here. I saw a big beefy guy who was very small the other day at the gym coming out of the shower and he didn't seem to give a rat's ass. I wish I could be that confident in the locker room. Let me tell you firsthand that being a handsome man with absolutely 0 confidence is one of the worst feelings I've felt and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

[Lodz]

If hormones are an option, please do your son a favor and find out what the negative side effects could be. If i could have another inch or two, i'd do just about anything, including get epileptic seizures, gain 60 lbs, or be a few dozen iq points dumber. But i have an unhealthy obsession with penis size. A reasonable person (such as a mother) wouldn't take those risks. But find out what they are. Weigh the cost/benefit.

I also had undescended testes and an innie most of my childhood and it still all pops back inside me as many days as not. And for the most part there is nothing i can do about it. Just as there maybe nothing you can do about your son's size. But there are things you cannot do, such as: Don't make a big deal out of it. Don't talk about it as a negative. When i think of the ways i could have been better prepared to accept my body as is, not one of them has to do with things my mother could have done. But at some point, this will cause him pain. That time is probably over a decade away. If he has someone he can talk to about it, he will be better off. But this topic is taboo. We don't talk. We hide. We'd rather suffer in silence than risk being laughed at (again). If someone does try to comfort him about it, he will likely just run from it. I was 37 and in crisis with a whole mess of issues before i ever told a therapist about my size and how i feel about it.

 

 

[Wesma]

8 minutes ago, Lodz said:

If hormones are an option, please do your son a favor and find out what the negative side effects could be. If i could have another inch or two, i'd do just about anything, including get epileptic seizures, gain 60 lbs, or be a few dozen iq points dumber. But i have an unhealthy obsession with penis size. A reasonable person (such as a mother) wouldn't take those risks. But find out what they are. Weigh the cost/benefit.

I also had undescended testes and an innie most of my childhood and it still all pops back inside me as many days as not. And for the most part there is nothing i can do about it. Just as there maybe nothing you can do about your son's size. But there are things you cannot do, such as: Don't make a big deal out of it. Don't talk about it as a negative. When i think of the ways i could have been better prepared to accept my body as is, not one of them has to do with things my mother could have done. But at some point, this will cause him pain. That time is probably over a decade away. If he has someone he can talk to about it, he will be better off. But this topic is taboo. We don't talk. We hide. We'd rather suffer in silence than risk being laughed at (again). If someone does try to comfort him about it, he will likely just run from it. I was 37 and in crisis with a whole mess of issues before i ever told a therapist about my size and how i feel about it.

 

 

Thank you for your reply. I have done quite a bit of research about side effects and it looks like there aren't really any. It can help when it's started early enough (before puberty). Not by much - but a little and I will do what I can to help him. It's a matter of replacing hormones that the body, for one reason or another, isn't making on its own. I'm so sorry this has caused you so much pain. I'm not at all saying it's not legitimate pain, but from a woman - I can tell you that size is not everything. Especially when it comes to looking for a long term partner. If my husband lost his penis tomorrow, I'd love him no less, and when I met him - even from the very beginning I wouldn't have cared at all. He's no size queen as it stands (maybe 5.5 when hard), but I knew based on who he was that he was the one for me. It's not as big a deal to most women as it is to most men. I promise. The best thing you could do would be to talk about it. I know it's the hardest thing too - but it's our secrets that keep us sick. Thank you for your advice. ❤️

[Wesma]

On 12/6/2017 at 9:31 PM, Someday said:

Much like the previous poster said, I have read that testosterone injections may or may not help. I don't recall exactly what it was so it would be best to talk it over with a medical expert. I wish I could go back in time and have my parents explore that option. I'm guessing this wasn't really too much of a known topic in the late 70's / early 80's like it is now. As for his mental state, who knows, he may end up having confidence or he may end up like the majority of us here. I saw a big beefy guy who was very small the other day at the gym coming out of the shower and he didn't seem to give a rat's ass. I wish I could be that confident in the locker room. Let me tell you firsthand that being a handsome man with absolutely 0 confidence is one of the worst feelings I've felt and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

It makes me sad to hear this. I wish I could let you take a walk around inside a woman's head. It's so much less of a big deal to us as it is to you. Even for those who DO feel it's a big deal - I don't know of a single woman who would turn down a relationship with a man who made her laugh, was kind, had his life together, was attractive to her, paid attention to her needs and also happened to have a small penis. Really. Not a single one. I do know it's something that men are sensitive about. My husband is on the small side and he was insecure about me seeing him naked for years. He never talked about it, but I could see his embarrassment. I never brought it up, but I see absolutely no reason for him to feel bad about it. Of course, they're not my feelings - they're his - so I respect how he feels and try to be sensitive about it. It's also made me more sensitive to what my son may go through. I think if I hadn't seen how affected his dad is, I wouldn't have given it much thought. I hope you're able to find peace and security about your body. You do deserve to be happy and to love yourself. 

[Lodz]

Thanks for your thoughtfulness. I literally need to be reminded constantly that not everyone (particularly women) cares about size. Even though i am married and have had several great relationships (and not so great ones) and know that my size hasn't negatively impacted them (though my preoccupation with it has crippled them), i still just have this gut feeling that everyone kniws i'm small and thinks less of me for it. Talking about it is why we're here.

I think that being small becomes a scapegoat for my other flaws and perceived flaws. "She didn't like me because i'm small." "I didn't get invited because i'm small." "I lack ambition because i'm small." "My friendships are weak and fail because i'm small." In reality, my size is nit the cause of those things. But obsession with it and my inferiority complex is a major factor. But don't bother trying to tell that to my amygdala.

I think men who are small but have strong social support don't fall so low. I have met men online who are smaller than myself (and i'm 3.8 bone pressed, just under 3" of visible dick, fully erect) who are not obsessed at all.

[LostBoy]

Hello @Wesma,

I was never officially diagnosed with a micropenis but I am very small (3.6" boned pressed and about 2.6" non bone pressed) and depending on what definition is used in either just slightly above the threshold or within.

I would definitely recommend seeing what the hormones can do. If they can cause him to be in the "average" range as an adult and there's low side effects then I'd do it for my kids if they had this issue.

Hormones typically have side effects though so I'm surprised there aren't any with this treatment.

Just my opinion.

[Lodz]

Yeah if there are no side effects, this is a no brainer.

[RonaldU]

Not an expert or anything like that but it's not a little early to diagnose that?

A micropenis is an otherwise normal penis with smaller size. There are people that almost have no flaccid size penis and yet have not a micropenis.

It can also grow a lot during puberty, I had a fried that had less than half an inch flaccid when he was a child and he's like 3 inches now, he was very worried about it to the point we talked about it when we were like 10 years old and now he's ok with his size.

How can doctors diagnose that so early?

[Wesma]

They do actually. In fact, it can be (and should have been) diagnosed at birth. Because he has other genital anamolies (undescended testes) and the fact that his penis is more than 2 standard deviations from the norm, that qualified for this assessment. Yes, things change with puberty, but there is a range of normal, even at this age. It's one thing to be at the small end of normal, but there is a cause for concern when it is far, far smaller than normal. Along with the problems with his testicles, caused his urologist to be concerned that there may be a hormonal problem. I'm glad your friend is okay with his size, but I don't want to take the chance that my son won't be and miss the chance to help him. Testosterone is responsible for more than just the size of one's penis, and if he's deficient it's important to help him. He also has a constitutional (meaning his whole body) growth delay - so there is a bigger picture that we are looking at.

I do hear what you're saying about hard vs flaccid size difference - but he doesn't get erections, which is surprisingly not normal. I was shocked when his doctor asked me if he is bigger when he gets erections. I told him - of course not - he's only 3. He doesn't get them. But apparently they are supposed to, so that's one more reason we all are a bit more concerned. Inadequate T can mean infertility. 😔

[Wesma]

9 hours ago, RonaldU said:

Not an expert or anything like that but it's not a little early to diagnose that?

A micropenis is an otherwise normal penis with smaller size. There are people that almost have no flaccid size penis and yet have not a micropenis.

It can also grow a lot during puberty, I had a fried that had less than half an inch flaccid when he was a child and he's like 3 inches now, he was very worried about it to the point we talked about it when we were like 10 years old and now he's ok with his size.

How can doctors diagnose that so early?

Here is an article about pediatric micropenis. 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3890219/#!po=25.0000

[Small]

@Wesma

Hi. Im sorry to hear about your baby's diagnosis. I hope you're getting the help you need.

[LostBoy]

13 hours ago, Wesma said:

the fact that his penis is more than 2 standard deviations from the norm,

Hello Wesma,

As I mentioned before, if I was his parent then I would do whatever I could to help the situation as long as there were no serious side effects.

I'm less than 2 SD from the norm now for and adult but I don't know if this was the case when I was a child. It is possible to live a healthy and fulfilling life with a small penis but it's not always easy.

[Victimorthecrime]

@Wesma - I would take him to pediatric endocrinologist.  Beyond just sex he could face a variety of health problems if his hormones are not normal.  

[Klingsor]

This is an interesting topic, and I've often pondered this question. A former member named Jessie linked to studies concerning phthalates and speculated that they may contribute to penis underdevelopment; they have been determined to likely cause un-descended testicles in young boys. I personally think chemical pollution and processed foods and packaging probably account for many abnormally small penises, at least in the developed world. These would be material causes, of course - I'm in tinfoil hat territory in believing that a special kind of "zeitgeist" may play a part in development as well. 

I'm curious about your statement in which you say you have seen many young boys' genitals and immediately knew there was something wrong with your son. What specifically was so different? How much variation do you normally see in size? Do any patterns or correlations stand out in your mind? 

I think you are doing the right thing, and it's great that you are being proactive. There might be time to reverse or correct this problem. However, it's mildly amusing to read stories like this where a woman will say she would still love the husband/son/whatever just as much, but still seem to take a keen interest in their son's genital development. I know my ex used to inspect her son's each time she changed a diaper and would make some remark at the least little thing that looked odd or unusual. 

[Wesma]

On 12/21/2017 at 1:45 PM, Klingsor said:

This is an interesting topic, and I've often pondered this question. A former member named Jessie linked to studies concerning phthalates and speculated that they may contribute to penis underdevelopment; they have been determined to likely cause un-descended testicles in young boys. I personally think chemical pollution and processed foods and packaging probably account for many abnormally small penises, at least in the developed world. These would be material causes, of course - I'm in tinfoil hat territory in believing that a special kind of "zeitgeist" may play a part in development as well. 

I'm curious about your statement in which you say you have seen many young boys' genitals and immediately knew there was something wrong with your son. What specifically was so different? How much variation do you normally see in size? Do any patterns or correlations stand out in your mind? 

I think you are doing the right thing, and it's great that you are being proactive. There might be time to reverse or correct this problem. However, it's mildly amusing to read stories like this where a woman will say she would still love the husband/son/whatever just as much, but still seem to take a keen interest in their son's genital development. I know my ex used to inspect her son's each time she changed a diaper and would make some remark at the least little thing that looked odd or unusual. 

IMHO it's not at all out there to consider environmental factors in regards to development. There was a documentary about a small town near a plastics factory and the effect that had on the ratio of girls to boys, and also certain physical attributes of the boys. I can't remember the name. 

While size is a spectrum, I'm more concerned because there is the issue with the testicle in addition to his actual penis not growing. 

This is what I'm referring to when I say that he doesn't look quite the same as other boys whose diapers I've changed. For one, his testicle is up in his abdomen. The testicle he does have is smaller than an infants and he is three. His penis has not grown even a little bit. Even at this age there is a range. Some are a little bigger or smaller than others, but this goes beyond that. There is a table floating around that shows normal penis length for young boys. Micropenis is diagnosed at +\- 2.5 standard deviations from the norm. So at his age, normal stretched penis length is I think between 4-6 cm. His is about 2cm.

And while I don't care about my husband's penis size - after all I did marry him - I'm a mom, so of course I want to fix something that may cause my son pain at some point. Especially as there is the issue with a possible hormone imbalance. 

[Wesma]

On 12/21/2017 at 7:00 AM, Victimorthecrime said:

@Wesma - I would take him to pediatric endocrinologist.  Beyond just sex he could face a variety of health problems if his hormones are not normal.  

I agree. The referral process is taking time but we are on it. 

[Wesma]

On 12/20/2017 at 6:10 PM, Small said:

@Wesma

Hi. Im sorry to hear about your baby's diagnosis. I hope you're getting the help you need.

Thank you