Astralboat Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 I am in a pickle. I like a girl, we are friends but i want to be lovers. I am afraid to ask her out because I don't want to lose her friendship. For now I have no other prospects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 With all the possible language differences, let me first confirm that by "lovers", you mean you want her to love you, to be your girlfriend? There are other possible English meanings ... If I'm right, it's a pretty common fear that in trying for more, you might lose what you have. The better friends you are now, though, the less chance that you'll lose that. Especially if you start out saying that you value the friendship, but would like to go out with her, I doubt that you would ruin anything. You would have to be prepared for her to say no, however. LaLa 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazz Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 I'd suggest casually asking her out, because if you have developed stronger feelings for her the friendship has already changed - and if she starts going out with someone else you'd probably be upset. She may say no, she may say yes, either way she'll surely be flattered. Be prepared for each option, but at least you won't be suffering in silence anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaLa Posted January 31, 2018 Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 Hi, Astralboat, welcome! I agree with m. and I don't know what to add, I can only recommend some reading (or videos - it's all also on YouTube), for instance: http://www.thebookoflife.org/on-loving-and-being-loved/ http://www.thebookoflife.org/friendship-and-vulnerability/ http://www.thebookoflife.org/what-is-love/ and other texts in the "chapter" named Romanticism (on that site) as well as some in Self. Perhaps you'll find some useful insights there... (?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astralboat Posted January 31, 2018 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2018 Thanks for the advice guys, very helpful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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