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I hate eating

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Hi, I’m Reni, I’m 16 years old and even though I’ve never have a severe problem with eating, I hate doing it. 

My dad is fat and when I was little I  was fat too, I lost weight now but I still can’t feel comfortable with eating, specially if he’s near me, the idea of eating some times is just horrible and it makes me sick. I feel bad with myself when I eat but I can’t stop eating because my mom always finds out and forces me to eat. Some times I bit myself inside my mouth so that I can’t eat because of the injuries. I’m gaining weight again and I’m scared to death to become fat again.

What should I do?

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Hi, Renni, welcome!

Have you searched for forums specialised for eating issues? You're welcome here, so don't interpret this as a rejection, but I suppose that you might get a better feedback in an on-line community of people who have / are recovering from an eating disorder. This one seems to be the best to me (but feel free to explore more and choose yourself!): http://webiteback.com/forum/index.php ( http://webiteback.com/blog/ ) You may also try here: https://support.beateatingdisorders.org.uk and https://forums.psychcentral.com/eating-disorders/

I don't think, based on what you wrote, that you have an eating disorder, but I'm afraid your problems and thinking and behavioural patterns might easily and quickly lead to anorexia (or a similar disorder).

Even before searching for a specialized forum: Have you tried to educate yourself about healthy eating? There are too many diets and I don't recommend you trying a diet (it can be often dangerous, mainly to children and adolescents!). But you can find also serious professionals who explain how, when and how much to eat to remain healthy and not to gain weight. (I would recommend one book in particular, but it's in a language ("east-european") you wouldn't understand, so... But if you wanted, I might try search for some info in English on the web...) When you learn and understand many things about your body (the physiology of digestion, some biochemistry, all the fascinating info about gut microbiota, ...), you may change how you view meals. When you know what and why your body needs, then you may look at eating as at something good for you - in case you eat "well" / healthily, of course. I imagine that being 16, you may feel incapable to influence what you eat because it's your mom who buys and cooks, but if you explained your problems (that you have now) and your solutions (-eating better) as well as the reasons why (-what is good for your body and why), she might make some efforts to change. What do you think?

Anyway; good luck and... kudos for reaching out and starting here to search for a solution to your problems! It's important to "do something" now, before it develops into a much bigger problem!

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Hi again, Reni,

I've just heard this interview and I was thinking about you a lot - I highly recommend listening to it to you:

http://meaningoflife.tv/videos/39728

You may learn about healthy, useful approach to eating as well as some unhealthy-ones (different from your, but perhaps still interesting and useful to know). They also mention a podcast that might be useful for you.

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I've already seen your post about depression :( . I see now that your problems go behind eating issues and I'm even more glad you decided to communicate about them.

I have just a short time now, I only came here to post this link for you - a talk that might be insightful and interesting for you, not only in the context of eating:

http://www.ideacity.ca/video/giulia-enders-secret-life-gut/

Take care!

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