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LostBoy

Poll - Why are you here?

Your Goal for Coming to this Forum  

20 members have voted

  1. 1. How did you find the SPS forum here on the Mental Support Community website?

    • Referred or mentioned in a different SPS site.
      1
    • Search Engine search for SPS, small penis therapy, or something similar.
      16
    • Someone I knew led me here.
      1
    • I was searching for something different and stumbled upon the site.
      2
    • Other
      0
  2. 2. When you started posting in this community, what was your goals, hopes, or objectives?

    • To help people with SPS, I am a trained and educated mental health specialist.
      1
    • To help others with SPS, I once had it but now I don't.
      1
    • To vent and vocalize my frustration with my penis size and/or SPS.
      9
    • To seek counsel from mental professionals or others with SPS in an effort to improve and to give counsel to others when I feel that I can. (Reciprocal Support)
      9
    • Mainly interested in reading topics and experiences to learn more but not really interested in participating in conversations.
      0
  3. 3. If you have SPS, do you feel that the conversations and threads in this community has helped?

    • N/A - I don't have SPS.
      1
    • Yes, discussing this problem with others has helped me cope with my own issues.
      7
    • Yes, reading the threads, without dicussing openly in the community, has helped me.
      4
    • No, I have activiely participated but I do not feel that I have gained any benefit.
      4
    • No, I don't actively participate but reading the threads has not helped.
      0
    • It depends... Sometimes I feel that the conversations are helping me to cope and at other times I feel that it is either triggering me or keeping me down to discuss it.
      4


Recommended Posts

Things have been a little slow on here lately so I thought that I would post another poll. One of my recent posts was related to the motivation for another person to be on this site. I sometimes question what brought people here (SPS of course but what was driving you individually).

hopefully the Q&A's are self explanatory.

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1 minute ago, Victimorthecrime said:

Hope you are doing well @lostboy1.  Life's been a battle lately, just doing my best and hoping for better luck as we move out of February.  

Hi @Victimorthecrime, overall I'm doing okay. The first part of the year has been ridiculously busy at work. We've had some major issues that have taken a considerable amount of my time so my strategic objectives have fallen by the wayside while I deal with firefighting and crisis after crisis.

I guess the good news is that I've been busy enough that I haven't had much time to wallow in self pity over my SPS issues. Always have to try and look at the positives I guess. I'm also traveling a lot. As a matter of fact I'll be up in the NE this coming week for work.

 

What's been your struggles lately? Work related issues again or just life in general? Maybe things will start to get better with warmer days and sunny skies around the corner.

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Just struggling physically, mentally and financially. But it's fine, doing what I can.  Just got to hang in there for my luck to turn.  I remind myself that someday we're all gonna be pushing up daisies and none of this stuff is gonna matter.

Corporations are alters of madness. Wish I had been a garbage man.   

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59 minutes ago, Victimorthecrime said:

Just struggling physically, mentally and financially. But it's fine, doing what I can.  Just got to hang in there for my luck to turn.  I remind myself that someday we're all gonna be pushing up daisies and none of this stuff is gonna matter.

Corporations are alters of madness. Wish I had been a garbage man.   

Hang in there bud. :sad_huggy: It can definitely be tough and we all go through trials and tribulations in this roller coaster of life. I do count my blessings that so far my health and finances have been good for many years although my financial situation at the beginning of my career was very strained. Mentally, I come and go with how I feel but overall I think I am still better off than many others who are struggling.

It's sometimes hard to find the positives in our lives but when we are down that's when we really need to search for those "rainbows" to help us through.

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39 minutes ago, Klingsor said:

Good Person™

Hello @Klingsor, sounds like you're having a rough time too. I have to ask what the trademark is on this "Good Person" comments you made?

I do think misery loves company sometimes because we all seem to like to sit around and grovel together.

I do agree with your scapegoat comments though. The majority seems to always be looking for someone else to blame instead of taking ownership of their problems. It couldn't be more evident than in the U.S. right now with all of the political infighting that is occurring and the dissension among the population here. The finger pointing seems to be higher now than I've ever seen it and nobody wants to take responsibility for their actions.

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I like the poll too. It's great to see that some members have benefited from sharing here. For members who have not, possibly the venting can offer some relief of pain or, if not, a sense of feeling understood by other members with similar struggles. It points to the limits as well of an online community such as this and possibly gives us some more insight about how to best support members. Thank you for posting it and thank you to members who took part in the survey.

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I am here to help solve this crisis.

I am NOT a trained professional (pure amateur here) but I had to select that option because it is the closest one to who I am in this forum

Studying this issue for over 15 years, I have discovered some fresh ideas that can help sufferers get a grip on the complex. Hopefully to give them the power they need to overcome it.
The community here is friendly & I know my contributions will be appreciated.

I hate to see unnecessary suffering & I don't like people being left out when it comes to the good of life.
So I took it upon myself to help out on an issue that the grand majority of society ignores.
Somebody has to give a damn so why not me?

John Lucas

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Hi @BellaMeilan, @IrmaJean, @PDXsUnHungAndUnsungHero,

I'm glad you've enjoyed this poll. It really is interesting to understand the motivation behind the people on the site.

As an example, it really surprises me, personally, that a large number of people just want to vent and be heard. I guess that further supports the benefit behind the anonymity of the site for achieving peoples goals for this site. It also makes me think that some of the advice I give may be unsolicited and really not wanted.

I think I now have a deeper understanding of why people are here and my responses may be adjusted accordingly to provide the best peer support.

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On 3/6/2018 at 1:55 PM, johnlucas said:

I am here to help solve this crisis.

I am NOT a trained professional (pure amateur here) but I had to select that option because it is the closest one to who I am in this forum

Hello @johnlucas, while I appreciate your energy and your desire to help, your statement above reminds me of the U.S. television commercial that aired a few years ago for Holiday Inn Express where everyone thinks that they are an expert simply because they stayed in the hotel.

Please don't take what I'm saying out of context. I appreciate having people who are SPS advocates that do not have SPS. I just feel that some of your approaches, based on your previous posts, are akin to alchemy (universal elixir). You post like you have this magical pill that everyone with SPS can take and be instantly cured. I do give you credit, you are extremely confident in your opinions whether they are based on actual facts, clinical trials, or just pure shots in the dark.

Sorry, I am not intending to "attack" you and hopefully it does not feel that way. I just wanted to make sure that you realized how you come across at times. If you really want to learn and help then I recommend listening more and talking less. From what I have seen you want to give a lot of answers to a problem without understanding the problem ( I asked you several specific questions in a past post regarding your proven success rates with your theories, your education (formal and informal), etc... that you chose to never answer). These are the things that would help build credibility but without sharing that level of information you might as well be an infomercial.

Regardless of your opinion, everyone with SPS is not the same (most of your posts indicate that the same "solution" could work for every person on this site). We are all very different, regardless of what you think. Some people physically have very small peni and have to deal with the realities that come with that and some just feel that they are small and it's more of a mental hurdle than a physical one. Some have had horrible and traumatic experiences in life related to their size while others are living productive and relatively normal existences.

SPS can be both a mental as well as a physical issue and, just like any other mental or physical issues, the same treatment does not work for every person. If it did then life would be so much simpler.

I know that this is a short post compared to yours (and much less eloquent in wording) but this is a very long post for me because I really wanted to get my point across to you. I have tried multiple times before unsuccessfully. I have serious concerns that your "one size fits all rip the band-aid off" approach to dealing with this disorder is highly misleading and could give a large number of people bad advice.

I am not looking for a response out of you on this post. I just want you to LISTEN to what I am saying. If you want to help me and others like me then LISTEN more and talk less. My grandmother always said that the reason God gave us two ears and one mouth is that we should be listening twice as much as talking. I encourage you to take that advice and I welcome you to be there for others who suffer with SPS once you have listened to what they have had to say.

Sincerely,

LostBoy

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@lostboy1 - this is why I started saying "find what works for you" and that could mean a physical solution, an emotional solution, a relationship solution etc because there are some pretty far out ideas out there.  I remember one guy saying that if the penis is not big enough and there is more room then simply insert your balls into the vagina. Problem solved.  Now that's what I call thinking outside the box 📦.  

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31 minutes ago, Victimorthecrime said:

@lostboy1 - this is why I started saying "find what works for you" and that could mean a physical solution, an emotional solution, a relationship solution etc because there are some pretty far out ideas out there.  I remember one guy saying that if the penis is not big enough and there is more room then simply insert your balls into the vagina. Problem solved.  Now that's what I call thinking outside the box 📦.  

Never had any sexual relationship with female,  how could we insert our balls into the vigina ?

Hmmm, is it just a metaphor?😥😥😥

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On 3/15/2018 at 8:44 PM, lostboy1 said:

Hello @johnlucas, while I appreciate your energy and your desire to help, your statement above reminds me of the U.S. television commercial that aired a few years ago for Holiday Inn Express where everyone thinks that they are an expert simply because they stayed in the hotel.

Please don't take what I'm saying out of context. I appreciate having people who are SPS advocates that do not have SPS. I just feel that some of your approaches, based on your previous posts, are akin to alchemy (universal elixir). You post like you have this magical pill that everyone with SPS can take and be instantly cured. I do give you credit, you are extremely confident in your opinions whether they are based on actual facts, clinical trials, or just pure shots in the dark.

Sorry, I am not intending to "attack" you and hopefully it does not feel that way. I just wanted to make sure that you realized how you come across at times. If you really want to learn and help then I recommend listening more and talking less. From what I have seen you want to give a lot of answers to a problem without understanding the problem ( I asked you several specific questions in a past post regarding your proven success rates with your theories, your education (formal and informal), etc... that you chose to never answer). These are the things that would help build credibility but without sharing that level of information you might as well be an infomercial.

Regardless of your opinion, everyone with SPS is not the same (most of your posts indicate that the same "solution" could work for every person on this site). We are all very different, regardless of what you think. Some people physically have very small peni and have to deal with the realities that come with that and some just feel that they are small and it's more of a mental hurdle than a physical one. Some have had horrible and traumatic experiences in life related to their size while others are living productive and relatively normal existences.

SPS can be both a mental as well as a physical issue and, just like any other mental or physical issues, the same treatment does not work for every person. If it did then life would be so much simpler.

I know that this is a short post compared to yours (and much less eloquent in wording) but this is a very long post for me because I really wanted to get my point across to you. I have tried multiple times before unsuccessfully. I have serious concerns that your "one size fits all rip the band-aid off" approach to dealing with this disorder is highly misleading and could give a large number of people bad advice.

I am not looking for a response out of you on this post. I just want you to LISTEN to what I am saying. If you want to help me and others like me then LISTEN more and talk less. My grandmother always said that the reason God gave us two ears and one mouth is that we should be listening twice as much as talking. I encourage you to take that advice and I welcome you to be there for others who suffer with SPS once you have listened to what they have had to say.

Sincerely,

LostBoy

Thanks for responding, lostboy1.

Believe me, I know a lot of my ideas are untested & more theoretical. They need to be field-tested.
The reason I'm so strong-minded on my approach is out of a need to give you guys some foundation to build from.
That's why I always say I'm HELPING to solve. So much of the pain I noticed from sufferers comes from not knowing where to turn or what to hold on to.
There's a lot of fog on this issue & I'm trying to help clear some of it up. That's all.

Also, I'm trying to put you guys more in a POWER position than a POWERLESS position.
To put you into ACTIVE Mode & ACTIVE Voice more than PASSIVE Mode & PASSIVE Voice.
I listened to how many of you guys talk on this forum & other forums on this topic & I kept seeing that theme.
"This has been done (PASSIVE Voice)" but not "Do this (ACTIVE Voice)".
I believe a big part of solving this is to put the hammer back in your hand so you can start smashing.
Not simply be a punching bag getting smashed, ya feel where I'm coming from?

 

I don't feel attacked at all, lostboy1. Not at all. I WELCOME the feedback. I WANT to improve my approach & methods.
I think the reason you didn't get the information you wanted from me is because I'm not as frequent on this board like I should be.
I'm sort of preoccupied watching this political scene hoping we don't end up in World War III, waiting to beat both the Democratic Party NeoLiberals AND the Republican Party Fascists in the 2018 Midterms, & waiting to get Bernie in there for 2020. Keeping a close eye on The Revolution is drawing me away from this board.
Start a thread & ask away. I'll tell you what you want to know so long as it doesn't compromise my privacy (address & such, you know).

I DEFINITELY learned some new information with that thread by InLuvWspsMAN from both you & YOTH that there are sub-levels I need to consider.
My theories get better once they're tested & you guys will help me test them.
Most of my work on this topic came from my time at Measurection. And I keep looking for other good forums to get feedback from.
Each forum has a different culture so that affects what kind of a feedback I'm getting.
I have recently made my debut in Reddit's Small Dick Problems & the culture there is different just as well.
The more I present an idea & the more you guys help me refine it, the better the ideas will be.

 

Trust me, lostboy1, I do WAY MORE listening than I do posting.
I lurked on this board for a good while before I made my debut here.
Same with Measurection. Same with other forums. Same with that SDP Reddit.
I haven't really brought my full ideas to this forum yet. Laziness partly.
But don't mistake my aggressive nature trying to solve this problem with not listening.
That was the only way I could even concoct my theories. I listened a lot before I made any comments at each forum I went to.

And yes, I know the difference between the actual small & those who feel small.
I don't really believe in the idea of "Small Penis Syndrome" because it makes the mistake of presenting the problem primarily as a psychological issue.
I see it more as a societal issue. And this is why it affects the actual small & those who believe they are small.
It's the stigma of smallness that causes the angst. The physical properties only compound the original stigma.
It's my fault for not finishing up my posts here. I apologize. You haven't seen my full thoughts on the subject yet.
After that flurry of posts I made in 2015, I disappeared into the political mess of 2016 & got sidetracked.
I will make it point to post more often here as I will be doing in Reddit's SDP & you'll fully see where I'm coming from.

John Lucas

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9 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

@lostboy1 - this is why I started saying "find what works for you" and that could mean a physical solution, an emotional solution, a relationship solution etc because there are some pretty far out ideas out there.  I remember one guy saying that if the penis is not big enough and there is more room then simply insert your balls into the vagina. Problem solved.  Now that's what I call thinking outside the box 📦.  

That guy was me. Hahahahahaha! :lol:

It was an idea I purely came up with off the top of my head doing a quick brainstorm.
Guess what?

I have recently found out that this idea HAS been done & is more common than you might think.
And one of the findings showed me a man who successfully did this with his woman & they both climaxed INTENSELY. BOTH were satisfied.
Imagination, man. There's ALL kinds of ways to come together. LITERALLY!

John Lucas
P.S.: Ask me & I'll show you my recent findings. Found out THIS WEEK as a matter of fact.

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