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Hi. I am 16. It has just recently came to my realisation that I might have a low grade depression.

I remember searching up the symptoms of Dysthymia and releasing I exhibit every single one. I didn't realise normal people don't feel tired, have problems overeating, never go out, are afraid everyone hates them, are obnoxiously lazy, paranoid everyone is out to humiliate them.

Can anyone share stories of the first time they realised they might have a mental disorder? What made you realise your not like most of the people around you and your thoughts are different?

Idk if this is just negative thinking or even worse, just my personality. 

Edit*** Can you be a confident person and still have this disorder?? I have no problem sticking up for myself, doing presentations, talking to people. But I am very awkward and can be demanding and bossy. But I do it to cover up the fact I am insecure. I have trouble making friends as I do not trust anyone and do not find myself worthy enough for certain people. I would not want to be friends with myself.

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I had what I can only describe as a brain zap and since then I haven’t been the same. Every day I wake up knowing my life is different from it was a few years ago. It’s kinda got a bit better but there is some days where I’m right back at the start. 

Kinda feel like that right now actually. 

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Hi Jade; welcome to the site.

It wouldn't surprise me if you had a low-grade depression;  many people do.  But did you diagnose yourself, or have you sought professional advice?  Because the problem with online lists of symptoms is precisely that "normal people" often do feel some symptoms.  Feeling tired, overeating, staying at home, low self-esteem, are all common enough.  The list actually said "obnoxiously lazy"?  Or did you fill some of that in?

I've been diagnosed with different things over my lifetime, starting with an undiagnosed depression in my senior year of high school, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I've had periods of major depression later in life.  I'm currently on meds for anxiety, which are actually helping.  But did I feel myself shift into (or out of) normality?  No, because diagnoses aren't meant to be boxes, separated by high walls from "normal".  They're just a description of what things the person needs help with.  If anything, it was my grades in school that made me feel most different from everyone else.  That and just being me.

It's also a difficult stage of life, being sixteen.  Lots of things are changing; lots of things don't make sense any more; lots of possibilities are opening up, whether you're ready or not.  It's okay to go easy on yourself for a while.  One step at a time, and if something doesn't go perfectly today, there's always tomorrow.  I know that sounds like something old folks say, but it's okay:  I'm an old folk.  You don't have to listen.  🙂

Depression isn't the same thing as low self-esteem, though it can be depressing when a person doesn't feel good about themselves.  You said you're aware of insecurity, but you cover it up.  That's incredibly common, not to say "normal".  You also said you can be "very awkward", but confident in certain settings.  How are the situations different?  Because the differences are probably important to how you react to the situations.  And is there a reason you don't trust anyone?

My guess is that this is your mood, plus your way of making sense of the world at the moment.  My belief is that those things are changeable, and that your personality is something else, and something that's okay just the way it is.

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