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alucasp

i feel so lost

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i just moved more than halfway across the country two weeks ago and i have no friends. i know that takes time but i am so lonely. i see a therapist once a week but i'm going to be asking to see her twice a week. my depression and PTSD seem to be affecting me the most right now. i have nightmares nearly every night, flashbacks, etc.. i feel so hopeless. i feel like none of this will ever get better. i don't know what to do. i don't feel like i'm going to commit suicide but i think about it a lot, mostly at night when i'm alone. if anyone has encouraging words or advice other than "it'll get better" please do give me some help.

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Hello, Alucasp, welcome!

I'm sorry you're so lonely; loneliness can be quite painful and even harmful. Do you think that it caused the worsening of your PTSD and depression symptoms? Or may that be linked to anxieties around moving to a new place?

Two weeks is indeed a too short time to make friends in most circumstances. At least you're lucky you have already a therapist - they can be hard to get to at a new place. I hope therapy will be helpful in fighting your symptoms, even in case if she couldn't see you twice a week.

Hopelessness is, as you already know, one of the symptoms of depression, but it's hard to look at it that way (as at some kind of illusion caused by mental illness) when one's depressed. However, it's probably always better to at least try to do so and examine logically the reasons that seem to justify the lack of hope as well as those that show hope is still there. So, why do you think you're hopeless (except for the fact that your depression makes you feel that way)? And also; what you would say to a close friend in a very similar situation, struggling to find some hope?

Flashbacks and nightmares are scary and disturbing, but they don't put your life in danger and they most often subside after some time of therapy (and/or other treatment). BTW; do you also take some medication?

Regarding making new friends: When you think of it, what places come to mind as those where you might meet new people on a regular basis and start 'making connections'? Do you work or study? Are there some activities you like (or used to like when you felt better) which you might pursue here with other people? There are websites like this one https://www.meetup.com where you can find a group of people either to do something together on a more or less regular basis (like sports or arts etc.) or just to chat together. I suppose it can be quite challenging to "push yourself" to go to such a meet-up for the first time, but after overcoming the initial resistance, it may be a source of pleasant moments and even new friends. What do you think?

I'm glad you decided to reach out here and I hope you'll keep posting and perhaps even find some on-line friends here. :) 

Good luck!!!

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@alucasp one technique that I rediscovered recently is just taking a deep breath and then holding it for a few seconds like 5-10 seconds.  When I am holding that breath my thoughts slow down and after I exhale I feel a calming moment, like a reset.  

Another thing that helps me is just doing some quick and simple exercise like push ups or squats or whatever.  Really any physical activity has the potential to break my mind free of the negative spin cycle of anxiety & depression.  

If you made such a long geographical move I am sure it was for a reason so give it a chance for the good things to emerge.   A little loneliness is not always a bad thing.  It allows us to work on ourselves and our lives w/o the endless drama and energy drain of other people.  I am a sensitive person and need time to recharge and refocus after being around others.  

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