Jump to content
Mental Support Community

Recommended Posts

Hello. I'm on vacation and my depression really worsens during this time. I have too much time to think and do nothing - it's driving me crazy. I want to bang my head against a wall because I don't know what to do with myself.  It doesn't help that I have money problems at these times, because of course I don't have an income when I'm on vacation. I've tried to find work to help get me through until schools re-open, but haven't had any luck. I want to be busy I don't want to think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, Endless, it's so good to 'see' you again - it was such a long time since your last 'visit'! :) 

I'm sorry you're struggling, even more, with depression again :( . It must be hard, this kind of change - from work to long vacations with "nothing to do". 

I wonder if there were some pleasant, or at least distracting, things you used to do previous years during your time off. 

Personally, I most often 'distract myself' by watching interesting or funny YouTube videos (like comedy sketches, TV series or excerpts thereof, TED talks, The School of life videos, educational videos, ...), but I'm not sure it's "the best thing to recommend"... Yet, you might try it at least sometimes (?). (I might send you some links with recommendations ("where to start") if you'd like.)

And... what about posting here more often? It could perhaps also be a way how to spend some time without thinking too much depressively.

Hugs,

L.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello Lala. It's nice to 'see' you again, too! I do watch videos, too many. I spend too much time online trying to prevent myself from thinking. I'm so tired, Lala. I want to let go to give in to stop being alive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi @Endlessnight good to see you here but sorry to hear you are struggling so much.  I think I recall you having similar issues in the past.  It is a shame, vacation is supposed to be fun!  

I have not had a vacation since around 1998.   It's a tough life, it really is.  It is going up to 100 degrees here today and I wish I was in a hotel near the beach or a cabin in the mountains, not this hot nasty city.  

I hope you think of something to occupy your mind like reading, walking, cooking, chatting, meditating or whatever is possible.  

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, Victimorthecrime said:

I wish I was in a hotel near the beach or a cabin in the mountains, not this hot nasty city.  

Me too! Hello Vic. How are you? It's very hot here too, and will only get hotter. The heat and humidity are always  a problem for me - it drains me. We had a day where it reached 118 not so long ago!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow 118 is insane.  It got a 104 here a few times but that is rare.  

I am ok but just a little fed up w some of the same problems that never go away - job insecurity, house repairs needed, very little money, very little fun and lacking energy to really do anything about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you remember some leisure-time activities from the past that you could do now, too? It's exhausting when the weather is so awful, I can imagine that even if you can think of "something nice to do", it may be quite hard to actually do it :( . But there, hopefully, are some relaxing activities that don't involve physical involvement and don't leave you "alone with dark thoughts"... For instance, you might try to find a YouTube channel with guide to meditation (or (auto)hypnosis - it's not that different and hypnosis is perhaps even better, or, at least, easier) which  would sound "suitable / fine" to you (there are many but some may not "fit" one's needs and personal preferences). I know it would be still involving the internet and you're already more or less bothered by spending too much time there, but it, since you find "the right" video, doesn't involve looking at the monitor, only listening with closed eyes, lying, relaxing... What do you think?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Victimorthecrime said:

Wow 118 is insane.  It got a 104 here a few times but that is rare.  

I am ok but just a little fed up w some of the same problems that never go away - job insecurity, house repairs needed, very little money, very little fun and lacking energy to really do anything about it.

I know what you mean. It is hard to be happy when you have so much to worry about. I wish I had an answer to help you and me both.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, LaLa said:

Do you remember some leisure-time activities from the past that you could do now, too? It's exhausting when the weather is so awful, I can imagine that even if you can think of "something nice to do", it may be quite hard to actually do it :( . But there, hopefully, are some relaxing activities that don't involve physical involvement and don't leave you "alone with dark thoughts"... For instance, you might try to find a YouTube channel with guide to meditation (or (auto)hypnosis - it's not that different and hypnosis is perhaps even better, or, at least, easier) which  would sound "suitable / fine" to you (there are many but some may not "fit" one's needs and personal preferences). I know it would be still involving the internet and you're already more or less bothered by spending too much time there, but it, since you find "the right" video, doesn't involve looking at the monitor, only listening with closed eyes, lying, relaxing... What do you think?

I really need to do physical activities Lala, I'm in my brain too much. There aren't any that I can do here though. I can't go walking with the heat the way it is. I wish I could go walking in some cool green woods.

I have tried watching meditation videos, but I always give up on them after a few times. 

How are you doing?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I see... :(  Perhaps there are some videos that teach some kind of exercising you could do inside, without too much physical effort needed (like... I don't know - Pilates? There must be more, I just don't know much about it...)

Would you like to "vent" here a bit about your worries and financial struggles? (As you know, sometimes it's a bit alleviating to "let it all out"...)

I'm doing relatively fine, thanks for asking. It's almost as hot here as at the place where Vic lives, so at the moment, this aspect of life is quite unpleasant, too... The media recommend to go at some public place (inside) with air conditioning and maybe we'll do it, but the way there seems discouraging to me. And everywhere I've been (= mainly supermarkets), the air conditioning is badly set - it's too cold and the huge temperature differences are not healthy either, so... I don't know (I think I'll let my husband decide ;)).

Anyway, since the last time we 'talked' on-line, I have probably only one news: I finally (after all those years!) started volunteering at a local non-profit / NGO (which offers services mainly for immigrants, but also for the local population). It's only 4 hours a week :redface:, so not a big change in my everyday life, but I like it, learn new things, and get to know new people, which is nice. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, EN! 🙂

I'm sorry things continue to be difficult for you. :( I have a daughter with depression as well...life isn't easy and can be heartbreaking at times. Are there any exercises you could do at home? Tai chi or yoga?

Sending my care to you. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

M., do you live where you used to or did you move in the meantime as you'd mentioned it some years (?) ago (that you were planning to move and you were afraid of the consequences)? If yes, how have you adapted to the new place? What is different there? And do you still live with your brother and his family? Sorry for too many questions, but I'm curious and looking forward to your news / to more things you would share ;) .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello Beth. It's so nice to see you are still here. How are you? 

My boss messaged me today and asked me if I wanted to work during the vacation. I feel like new life has been given me! I have a reason to get up and do things. I will probably start in about two weeks, but I will be busy during that time getting everything done that I need to. I have to get tests done for my health, which I've been delaying. I have high cholesterol, vitamin D deficiency (something that almost all women here have because we don't go out enough, and when we do we are covered head to toe in black abayas), I also have hypothyrodism. So anyway I will do the tests for those things and then take them to the doctor. I already know my cholesterol is going to be very high because I have been eating anything and everything. I also have GERD and I still eat badly. It's like I'm trying to kill myself by not taking care of my health, but then I do the tests and go to the doc - I don't know why I bother, to be honest. Still, I have a purpose now, sort of.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, LaLa said:

M., do you live where you used to or did you move in the meantime as you'd mentioned it some years (?) ago (that you were planning to move and you were afraid of the consequences)? If yes, how have you adapted to the new place? What is different there? And do you still live with your brother and his family? Sorry for too many questions, but I'm curious and looking forward to your news / to more things you would share ;) .

Hi Lala. I still live in SA. with my brother and his family.

Did you read that they have allowed women to drive here now?  I have seen only a couple of women driving though, since the ban was lifted - June 20th, I think. I know none of the women in my family are going to drive. I'm definitely not - even if I could. I would probably fail the driving test because of my poor eyesight. 

There are a lot of things going on here that are not good for those of us that are foreigners living here. We have to pay a monthly fee of $80 per person. I just managed to pay my fee a few months ago, and will have to pay again soon. That beside the resident permit fee that we pay which is around $300 every year. That's why I'm so glad I am going back to work. Still, even if I manage to pay the fee this year, I won't be able to next year. They double the amount per person every year.

Don't apologise for asking me questions. I'm glad you do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/2/2018 at 6:31 PM, LaLa said:

I see... :(  Perhaps there are some videos that teach some kind of exercising you could do inside, without too much physical effort needed (like... I don't know - Pilates? There must be more, I just don't know much about it...)

Would you like to "vent" here a bit about your worries and financial struggles? (As you know, sometimes it's a bit alleviating to "let it all out"...)

I'm doing relatively fine, thanks for asking. It's almost as hot here as at the place where Vic lives, so at the moment, this aspect of life is quite unpleasant, too... The media recommend to go at some public place (inside) with air conditioning and maybe we'll do it, but the way there seems discouraging to me. And everywhere I've been (= mainly supermarkets), the air conditioning is badly set - it's too cold and the huge temperature differences are not healthy either, so... I don't know (I think I'll let my husband decide ;)).

Anyway, since the last time we 'talked' on-line, I have probably only one news: I finally (after all those years!) started volunteering at a local non-profit / NGO (which offers services mainly for immigrants, but also for the local population). It's only 4 hours a week :redface:, so not a big change in my everyday life, but I like it, learn new things, and get to know new people, which is nice. 

I'm glad to hear you are volunteering Lala. How do you like it? Do you think it is helping you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/2/2018 at 9:33 PM, IrmaJean said:

Hi, EN! 🙂

I'm sorry things continue to be difficult for you. :( I have a daughter with depression as well...life isn't easy and can be heartbreaking at times. Are there any exercises you could do at home? Tai chi or yoga?

Sending my care to you. 

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. It must be hard for her and for her family. I wish her well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Endlessnight said:

How do you like it? Do you think it is helping you?

Yes, I like it and it's "helping" me to some extent, too, although not as much as it probably would if I was volunteering more often (probably on other places, too - to have more diverse activities and people). But as it's summer, I'm no longer motivated to seek more opportunities because the walking regularly somewhere in the heat isn't appealing enough (= the idea is discouraging). Never mind. Hopefully in September...

I'm so glad to hear that you can work again in a short time!! :) 

When I asked abut your moving or not, I didn't mean outside the SA, but to another part of it (you mentioned it quite a long time ago as a plan of your brother, but I don't know if it happened and don't remember any details, just that it would have been hard for to find work there). I didn't know about the terrible fees! :(  Yes, I'd heard about the driving (I don't have a driver's licence either - it never even tempted me, on the contrary) - better than no change at all, but still it's too sad, or rather outrageous, how the rules in SA are set for most of people... ... I would still encourage you to find a way how to move to England, but I remember this isn't an idea you like to be remembered of :redface:, so... I'll try not to be persuading you...

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/3/2018 at 10:04 AM, Endlessnight said:

Hello Beth. It's so nice to see you are still here. How are you? 

My boss messaged me today and asked me if I wanted to work during the vacation. I feel like new life has been given me! I have a reason to get up and do things. I will probably start in about two weeks, but I will be busy during that time getting everything done that I need to. I have to get tests done for my health, which I've been delaying. I have high cholesterol, vitamin D deficiency (something that almost all women here have because we don't go out enough, and when we do we are covered head to toe in black abayas), I also have hypothyrodism. So anyway I will do the tests for those things and then take them to the doctor. I already know my cholesterol is going to be very high because I have been eating anything and everything. I also have GERD and I still eat badly. It's like I'm trying to kill myself by not taking care of my health, but then I do the tests and go to the doc - I don't know why I bother, to be honest. Still, I have a purpose now, sort of.

I'm glad you feel some purpose now, M. I hope your time on the job goes well. 

Do you take vitamin D supplements or medication for low thyroid and high cholesterol? Can your cholesterol be helped by diet? Hypothyroidism can cause fatigue, that must make things difficult. :(

Thank you for the well wishes. I am well, not without some life challenges, but staying strong. 

It's good to see you here. Take care, M.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/3/2018 at 4:04 PM, Endlessnight said:

vitamin D deficiency (something that almost all women here have because we don't go out enough, and when we do we are covered head to toe in black abayas)

:(  This reminds me of:

Quote

People with a vitamin D deficiency have a higher risk of contracting sepsis than most. Vitamin D deficiency has also been linked to an increased risk of getting an infection.

from here: https://theconversation.com/i-nearly-died-from-sepsis-and-ignorance-of-this-condition-is-killing-millions-99051

I hope you take good care of yourself, M. ...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How are you doing, M.?

Today, in the framework of my volunteering, I talked (~50 minutes, by phone) with a woman (in her early 50ties) who, for several reasons, reminded me of you, M., although her situation wasn't as "dramatic" in the sense that she doesn't live in a dangerous country without social support, some of the basic human rights, affordable health care etc. (She was crying quite a lot, regretting her whole "lost" life (due to her upbringing, she's a bit similarly "stuck" in many ways, "not really knowing herself"), feeling like not really living, not knowing what to do to feel any better, ...) In the end (we talked also some 7 min. after the official "end of service" and, unfortunately, I couldn't extend it more because of the employees who had to close the place for the night), she was relatively calm and said it felt good to have cried and talked, but I'd like so much to talk to her tomorrow (which is rather improbable), mainly because I had some ideas about what to say after we finished (as it always happens, in my case). Anyway, since she felt better in the end, I was thinking about you, wondering if such kind of calls (not with me - with an Anglophone and, mainly, with someone more experienced and more helpful!) would be of some help to you, too. I know that international calls are crazily expensive, but there's a way to call for not a lot of money - by Skype:

https://secure.skype.com/calling-rates?language=en

This way, you might, if you wanted, call, for instance, to this British service (similar to the one we offer where I do the volunteering) https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

Don't worry, I won't try to push you to do it ;-) ; I'm just presenting the possibility that occurred to me.

Edited by LaLa

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×