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TheDane

The one about your penis defining you

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It is 1 am and I am going mad. Amongst other probably due to the fact that I haven't had sex for 9 years.

It is hard for me to explain my thesis since my first language isn't English.

Alas. If a man is defined by his penis which I believe he is, then why is this so? It must be because penis size i.e sexual stimulation is the most important thing in this here world to women.
I have grown to hate women for a lot of reasons. Although I do posses the insight to realize that this is related to my situation. I am very bitter and frustrated.

I accuse women of being shallow, superficial, opportunistic, egocentrical. I think the more beautiful they are. the more this is true.

when looking for a man their priorities boils down to: 
1. money
2. dick size
3. prestige

The latter two are interchangable according to opportunism.

Actually, I dont blame women. If this is so important to them how can I? But, how can I respect them then? If all they are is sex junkies. #metoo, equality fuck off!!!! it's opportunism.
It is absolutely impossible to discuss this subject with a woman even more so with a beautiful one. Because you in that situation will be defined by your small penis which means you wont be taken serious. How can you? you are a laughing stock, however good your arguments are. 
Maybe my theory/claims primarily applies to beautiful women I'm not sure.

I once had a girlfriend who was satisfied with my size, but she didnt want her friends to know she was with the guy with the small penis so she dumped me..... shallow and superficial. fuck women I hate them.


I wish I could explain myself better..... but as I said. going mad. Depression, anxiety, Full blown small penis syndrome a laughing stock..... defined through life by my small penis.


" Women are less than shallow"

- Nietzsche

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7 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

@TheDane - few things: 1) Hate is never the answer 2) not all women feel the way you describe 3) those that do have a right to their preferences.  

I agree that it sucks but you got to keep things in perspective.   

They certainly do. But, keeping things in perspective then, It should be known, that women's key features/aspirations  arent compassion, empathy, intellectional debate, world peace, altruism among others, as we are led to believe, but rather:

                                                1.How do I take care of myself (Egocentrical, opportunism)
                                                2. How do I feel good while doing it (sexual stimulation)
                                                3. And how do I make sure everybody else is aware of how well I'm doing with the former two (superficiality and shallowness )

Again the latter two are interchangable

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I agree with Vic here, I think some women are shallow, some men are shallow. I guess the only answer is to look at the individual person and try to observe what they are like, how they behave, what they say about other people before you get involved on any level. I'm not sure that it's to do with attractiveness either, people just vary in their attitudes.

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End of the day people like what they like, can't hate someone for having a preference

I'd was gonna compare it to a guy not wanting to date a fat girl but then I remembered that girl can lose weight but your dick is as good as it's gonna get (without PE that is)

Not a pleasant thing

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@TheDane, I'm sorry your experiences made you so depressed, anxious, bitter, and prejudiced :( . I couldn't argue about the woman you've dated (or tried to date) - your experiences are unfortunate, annoying (to me, too!), and frustrating. But that doesn't mean "all" women are like those you've known. I don't even think it's a majority (just BTW; I don't know anyone among my friends or family who would fit your description and never heard anyone say that "size matters", I only read this repeatedly on this forum from the SPS guys who've heard it). Maybe a majority of "those you consider beautiful", I cannot know. 

BTW, I mostly like Nietzsche's philosophy, but he's been well known for his misogyny due to his unlucky life experiences with some women and you cannot use a quote from another century, even if it was true, as a proof or argument about current women (/people) - too many things have changed in the meantime, including priorities, opportunities, risks, social conditions, ...

Similarly, I couldn't agree that man "is defined by his penis" (quoting you). It's such a nonsense. If a man feels that way, I think it's partially his own fault. But it's, obviously, largely the fault of (a part of) society and of the stupid, incredibly shallow women he's had, unfortunately, bad experiences with.

I wonder how it looks when you approach all women with these prejudices. (To me, that wouldn't feel appealing, even if it was manifested only on some "subliminal level"...) 

I agree that this is a good place to vent one's frustration and to "let out", in a safe from, all the anger and frustration etc., so my post doesn't anyhow criticize that you're doing it. But sometimes I still feel a naive (?) wish: It would be even better if this place allowed people to discover better ways of coping, of interpreting things that happen to them, of behaving in the future and managing their expectations. So, in this context: What could you change to make your life better? Of course you cannot change others, but you might at least change your "choice" of people, your "strategies" of developing relationships, couldn't you?

Had the relationships with women who dumped / humiliated you been profound, based on deep mutual respect, love, admiration (not of superficial characteristics), ...?? Or was it mainly "fun based on physical attractiveness"? If a woman is with you mainly "for fun (and money / prestige)", then she can obviously leave you when one of the superficial criteria isn't fulfilled. But if you first build a relationship on real friendship, real "fondness" , ... and then proceed to "the more physical aspects", you may be more lucky...

What do you think?

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I'm sorry that you have been hurt by women in the past. I think that bad experiences can make it easy to generalize, but I agree that each person...regardless of gender...is individual. I do hear your anger, frustration, and pain. I appreciate that you are able to share your feelings respectfully. I hope it helps to express yourself.

What defines a human being? I think we are complex and unique, maybe we would feel less anguish if we did not attempt to categorize ourselves, especially not by a body part.

Take care. Welcome to our community, @TheDane

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I have one suggestion that seems ideal to me, although I can anticipate your reluctance :( : Do try psychotherapy. Yes, your problem is partially created by "others" and it's partially genetic (= your body is genetically determined and your attitude towards it (and your reactions to the attitudes of others) is partially caused by your innate nature), but that's true for all "ailments" with which good psychotherapists can help.

Take care and good luck!

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Thank you all for responding to my post. Welll spending money on a psychiatrist would be money down the drain. with qoutes like "you will be fine","you have to embrace yourself" and a lot of useless BS.

Nobody has answered my question/claim about being the victim of ridicule if you reveal your small secret.....why the hell is it, especially to women, so funny??? what is so funny about this ??? please answer, and not a lot of big words. I myself believe it has to do with Freuds theory of penis envy. It is a common mistake that this theory i thought to be concerning envy between penis size among males. It's not..... please any woman why is it funny? I want a thorough and honest explanation.

I have just started dating a beautiful, wise and succesfull woman..... she seems quite fond of me. I would like to believe that I am somewhat good looking. At least she thinks so......
I assure you that when the "curtain drops" I am going to be so nervous and I won't be able to perform well and she is going to dump me the day after. I will keep you posted on this.

The sad thing is that my penis isn't that small 6 inches long, rather slim though 4 inches i think.... it is however small.
Dont give me any avarage bullcrap I've played football, went to a lot of showers..... I know I am small.

Thanks for listening to me


NB. about qouting Nietzhe....The sad truth is that the qoute is even more true today. Females back then were opressed and more obedient thus less able to "show their true colours" Nietzhe was however insightful and ahead of his time. I know that I am very bitter and depressed, but it is not fair just to reject my claims because of my mental state....

"The truth shall come from a madman", Parable of the Madman (Nietzsche 1882) 

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On 7/25/2018 at 8:25 PM, therebetruth said:

End of the day people like what they like, can't hate someone for having a preference

I'd was gonna compare it to a guy not wanting to date a fat girl but then I remembered that girl can lose weight but your dick is as good as it's gonna get (without PE that is)

Not a pleasant thing

I said already that I don't hold it against them!!!!!!!!

I just want it to be publicly known then that women are only looking for compassion, intelligence, honesty, respect etc. if a normal/larger penis comes along with it....proving my point that at the end of the day you are defined by your penis.

But I don't know why I am even trying to prove this. Evolution has already done it..... why do most humans have so proportionally large penis' compared to other living creatures? because women chose them..... it's natural selection......and it's a nightmare being on the short end of the stick of.....for lack of better words.

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1 hour ago, TheDane said:

I said already that I don't hold it against them!!!!!!!!

I just want it to be publicly known then that women are only looking for compassion, intelligence, honesty, respect etc. if a normal/larger penis comes along with it....proving my point that at the end of the day you are defined by your penis.

But I don't know why I am even trying to prove this. Evolution has already done it..... why do most humans have so proportionally large penis' compared to other living creatures? because women chose them..... it's natural selection......and it's a nightmare being on the short end of the stick of.....for lack of better words.

You shouldn't treat your dick as some sort of masculinity bar, and the longer it is the more masculine you are, think of all the incredibly feminine gay people out there with huge penises, they couldn't BE closer to being a woman short of actually being a woman but they still may have a huge penis BUT they will never use it to mate with a woman therefore throwing your evolution argument out the window as if it was solely evolution and for the purpose of creating children gay men wouldn't have large penises as there wouldn't be an evolutionary need for it

Small penises can do things big ones can't, big penises can do things a small one can't, yeh it may be skewed towards the latter but it's still a thing, like for example a guy with a 10 inch penis can't just hold onto his woman and smash her as hard as he can because he'd fucking kill her, whereas if your penis is around 4-6 inches that's not an issue you have so you can go as hard as you want which many woman love, but on the other hand some women want the feeling of being filled up and can take 9+ inches and prefer it so obviously a small/average isn't going to do it for them, there are multiple pros and cons for both, but it all comes down to it being a symbol of masculinity which again is ridiculous, go back 500 years and small penises were the more desirable of the 2, now it's the other sides turn in history to be the more desirable one

Also I wasn't aware humans had proportionally large penises, seems just about the same as any other animal par people with giant cocks but you can't use the minority to define the majority

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4 hours ago, TheDane said:

spending money on a psychiatrist would be money down the drain. with qoutes like "you will be fine","you have to embrace yourself" and a lot of useless BS.

Unfortunately for you, you (as many other people who've never tried it) have a very distorted, unrealistic picture of psychotherapy. What you quote is some useless "pop psych"; psychotherapy really doesn't work via some catch-phrases and attempts at changing your opinions and feelings by telling you what to do and what to think. It's a complicated, often long process that allows you to "change from within", at your own pace, by your own way. I wish to everyone who suffers in any way to find and undergo such a transformative experience...

4 hours ago, TheDane said:

Nobody has answered my question/claim about being the victim of ridicule if you reveal your small secret.....why the hell is it, especially to women, so funny??? what is so funny about this ??? please answer, and not a lot of big words.

I'm sorry you got angry for not finding the answer, but you haven't really asked that before, at least I haven't recognized it in our post. I'm even more sorry there's no one here, on this forum, who could answer, because we cannot explain why someone finds funny something that we don't. But I tried at least to google something, yet it wasn't very helpful - i seems that some people just find it funny because it's part of their "milieu" / "local culture" (-by which I mean "not national culture", just some kind of "culture of a certain community / of some groups of people who have some things in common") - that's at least a conclusion of my short search, based on this quote: "And little dicks, much like Trump’s tiny hands, are so fun to make fun of it’s practically a sport." from this text: https://melmagazine.com/is-saying-a-guy-has-a-small-dick-body-shaming-2c417630b3f5

But I think it's almost the same question as "why people laugh at / ridicule the disabled". It's just "something unusual for them that they didn't expect, so when they are confronted with it, they "don't know what to do" and they are naturally inclined (for whatever reasons) to either be amused by "unexpectedness / some kind of harmless (for them) violation of some rules (of nature, society, ...)" - or "unexpected juxtaposition of incongruities" - see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theories_of_humor#Incongruous_juxtaposition_theory - or they mock other who are different to feel superior. You may look also here: http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2011/05/13/5_leading_theories_for_why_we_laugh_and_the_jokes_that_prove_them_wrong.html

Here are some reasons people give for going it: https://www.quora.com/Why-do-some-people-like-to-mock-disabled-people

(This was also an interesting article among the results of my google search: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/amanda-elias/when-is-it-ok-to-laugh-at_b_14593246.html )

More importantly, I recommend this article to everybody, mainly because it actually mentions there are, according to studies (= not just according to me and some other members of this forum 😉 ), women who don't have a preference for "big ones": https://www.livescience.com/40192-penis-shame-guys-heads.html
 

A few small remarks, just BTW:

2 hours ago, TheDane said:

I said already that I don't hold it against them!!!!!!!!

Well, it was not really obvious from expressions like this:

On 7/25/2018 at 1:24 AM, TheDane said:

fuck women I hate them.

 

4 hours ago, TheDane said:

why do most humans have so proportionally large penis' compared to other living creatures?

This is not true. (Have you seen horses, for instance?) And it doesn't matter, because the anatomy of every animal, including humans, is different, so the anatomical needs for reproduction are also different. On the other hand, this short part is probably true:

4 hours ago, TheDane said:

women chose them..... it's natural selection

And what have "women chosen"? The average size (which you can find here, for instance: https://www.livescience.com/38158-average-penis-size.html). If "the big-ones" had really been favored, they would have become the average. Yes, today's abhorrent popular "entertainment" (= porn - invented, BTW, for whom, in the first place? Wasn't it, by chance, by and for men???) makes some women's "information" and expectations harmfully absurd, unfortunately...

5 hours ago, TheDane said:

I know that I am very bitter and depressed, but it is not fair just to reject my claims because of my mental state...

I cannot find any place where I rejected your claim (mainly that about Nietzsche as you wrote that in that context) because of your mental state. I refuse the misogynistic view (of anyone), not even because I am a woman. (Just a fun fact: I used to be (before my psychotherapy) misogynistic for quite many years myself, to a great extent due to my mild gender dysphoria (mild, because I haven't chosen to become a man and learned to accept my gender, at least to a sufficient degree) So I know how it feels when you think you're just right and cannot change your mind, but I also know that when you explore yourself in sufficient depth (in therapy) and you experience healing (thanks to a good therapist), you can "suddenly" realize your former "eternal" hate is gone and seems absurd and terrible to you!) I rejected your and (Nietzsche's, in this context) claims because they are absurdly generalizing and too many easily found examples proof them wrong. I don't say there are no women fitting your description. But there are men just as bad and "differently bad", as well as "differently bad" women. 

I'm glad to see that despite this, you're still able to fall in love with someone and try to have a relationship. (But I'm not much surprised; I used to have friends among girls and I used to like / admire some women myself while also being misogynistic... It's probably like some racists having one "coloured" friend and saying "but he's different from the others" 😞 .)

5 hours ago, TheDane said:

I assure you that when the "curtain drops" I am going to be so nervous and I won't be able to perform well and she is going to dump me the day after.

You've begun making it a self-fulfilling prophecy!! (But you probably still have time to change it.) How would you describe what you're doing here? You take your past experiences and make a scenario about what's going to happen, even reassuring yourself that it's the only possibility, to avoid too much pain from disappointment - so that you could at least say: "I've expected this, I was right, I wasn't ridiculously naive." That's my interpretation.

So what could you do differently this time? Any ideas?

To me, this seems to be the problem: You expect that you should soon "perform well", but you "know you'll be too nervous to do it", so she'll be disappointed and leave. But what about taking it slowly, developing some kinds of physical (besides emotional, of course) intimacy without "dropping the curtain"? When you take it slowly, you might have more time to get more fond of each other and "the next steps" may become even more desirable (delayed gratification often pays off). If she starts questioning why you "delay it", you may firstly say you want to have enough time to fully enjoy each little step of the growing intimacy. And then, when you bot still feel you really want to be together, you can tell her about your problem, your insecurities, your past suffering, ... If you talk about it in advance and if you explain to her the suffering that rejections and ridicule has already caused you, she might even want to "become the one who'll cure you from your SPS" and "the first who'll fully accept you" etc. This is, in my opinion, much more unlikely to happen in a relationship that hasn't yet gone trough relatively long phase of "getting to know each other" and "slowly growing more intimate with each other", hence the bad experiences of "the first time when the curtain drops" that many men describe. They do it too soon and without any preparation. They are too scared of rejection, so they may likely "do poorly" and the woman has no idea why - and sometimes she may attribute it to the size, although in reality, it was only caused by the nervousness and lack of confidence!

Good luck!

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@TheDane It's interesting (and good) that even though your opinion of women in general is so low you have just met someone 'beautiful, wise and successful'. As LaLa says, why not take the situation slowly, it takes time to find out how 'wise' someone really is - and how supportive.

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https://www.yahoo.com/news/report-kimberly-guilfoyle-left-fox-news-accused-sexual-misconduct-115302551.html

Quote

According to the HuffPost report, Guilfoyle was allegedly told to leave the network after Fox News’s human resources department looked into claims of inappropriate behavior — including that she showed co-workers photos of naked men.

Six sources said Guilfoyle’s behavior included showing personal photographs of male genitalia to colleagues (and identifying whose genitals they were), regularly discussing sexual matters at work, and engaging in emotionally abusive behavior toward hair and makeup artists and support staff,” the HuffPost article says. 

Ms. Guilfoyle certainly seems to be under the misapprehension that men connect some level of their being to their penis. But that can't be true, men aren't defined by a piece of meat (unless you're a Republican running for political office, then it's paramount that you prove "there's nothing wrong. Trust me..." so the red-blooded plebs will respect you as an alpha male.) Why then did she engage in this type of behavior? Was she giving female co-workers visual advice on which male might provide the best sex? That can't be true either because I was told penis size doesn't matter in sex. The whole thing is very puzzling. 

 I wonder how the left-wing, man-hating rabid feminists would spin this...technically this woman worked for Fox news, so she's a traitor, a feminist version of an Uncle Tom, but on the other hand, she's objectifying men sexually and thus dealing recompense for the centuries of objectification women had to endure. 

One thing of which we can all be absolutely certain -- some 22 year old sound engineer or producer reeking of marijuana and Axe body spray with a 10" dick is grinning from ear to ear right now. Honestly, I think the only way to unite the polarized political parties in the US is to find a mixed-race man with an enormous penis. Male sexual prowess seems to be the only thing on which all parties can agree is absolutely essential. 

P.S. For all of you fortunate enough to live in a bubble or not have to present yourself at these playgrounds of Hell called a JAY OHH BEE, I can assure you this type of shit routinely happens on a daily basis. 

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If it's true, she sounds abusive in general too, because the article says she was 'emotionally abusive...toward hair and makeup artists and support staff' - and we could assume that would include women.

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Men are no better than women. Men will take any opportunity to one up another and small dick jokes are one of many ways they'll do that. I've heard plenty disparaging comments about small dicks from dudes, two of them I called friends.

But whatever you feel is for you to deal with. If you have a small cock, you, your opinion on sex and your feelings pretty much don't matter. 

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It's about time. We are going to have sex this week and I got small penis syndrome coming out of my ears.  I feel so anxious, cant sleep, grind teeth, headache. basically going mad. I am so
scared that sex for me will be another dissapointment for me and my partner.

I am obessing and spending 3-4 hours a day looking throug internet pages to reassure that my 6 inches will suffice (discouraging girth though). whenever i look at six inch'ers online they look much bigger than mine.

I am leaning towards calling the whole thing off.

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1 hour ago, TheDane said:

It's about time. We are going to have sex this week and I got small penis syndrome coming out of my ears.  I feel so anxious, cant sleep, grind teeth, headache. basically going mad. I am so
scared that sex for me will be another dissapointment for me and my partner.

I am obessing and spending 3-4 hours a day looking throug internet pages to reassure that my 6 inches will suffice (discouraging girth though). whenever i look at six inch'ers online they look much bigger than mine.

I am leaning towards calling the whole thing off.

When I push my fat pad down my penis is around 6 inches, if I do it when I look down it looks small to me but when I do it in the mirror it looks like a decent size, it's all about perspective, plus if you're a big dude it'll look smaller in comparison to your body, when you see it online it's usually on buff dudes and the penis is the only thing in frame so you got nothing to compare it to to make it look small

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I would tell her in advance something in the sense that "I have a strong performance anxiety; I care so much but am scared you won't be satisfied", so that she would help you to overcome it and wouldn't feel surprising to her and shameful to you if you indeed "fail"...

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I used this tactic the last time (2-3 years ago). I told her that I was scared that I wasnt able to satisfy her and that made me so nervous I couldnt get a good erection.
So very akward..... We went to sleep and she stopped calling me after 3-4 weeks of dating. However she didnt seem to mind the actual size(or lack of it), but remarked "this is something that obsesses you right"....she was very right.

Women today want to be dazzled and everything has to be just right. Or they will move on to the next one. Even though my misogyny is less severe these days I am still a firm believer in women's or at least beautiful women's priorities are

1.Money
2. dick size
3. prestige

They might be interchangable depending on the individual woman.

But i shouldn't be the one to speak. My own priorities are:

1. Would I like to have sex with them.
2. Do the have a brain i.e do we have something to talk about after we have sex

The question is  who is shallow one....?

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I know it's quite out of topic, but your generalizing list reminds me of this-one (only a few seconds of the video) - and of the reaction of the other character to the list:

https://youtu.be/uJGmC2q2kEg?t=279

:D 

Which also reminds me of another (longer) scene - about "shallowness", but with a slightly different priority than you suppose (which shows that even generalizing opinions differ) :

https://youtu.be/_NjFQaib6YE

Sorry, no "advise" this time, just "BTW" comments / associations...

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3 hours ago, therebetruth said:

When I push my fat pad down my penis is around 6 inches, if I do it when I look down it looks small to me but when I do it in the mirror it looks like a decent size, it's all about perspective, plus if you're a big dude it'll look smaller in comparison to your body, when you see it online it's usually on buff dudes and the penis is the only thing in frame so you got nothing to compare it to to make it look small

I'm kind of a "big dude" 6 foot 5.....The girl I am dating has let me know that this is important to her... It's going to be interesting to  see how she feels about penis size..... if it's going to be another humaliation for me. My tactic is to pretend like nothing is wrong and then let her decide...... let the ball be in her court so to speak.

It is nice to have someone to talk to about it though....so thanks for responding.

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