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GoldenBoyX

I hate how society treats guys with my size

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I feel so crappy about my size because I’m not like freakishly tiny but instead am right within that zone where society basically says you are average range and have no right to feel insecure but then behind our backs makes fun of this size relentlessly. Like where it’s just big enough that no one feels sorry for you even though you are small and even people on a site like this tell guys they aren’t allowed to feel insecure about it and it really just makes me even more depressed. 

What I mean is, well, when I first looked up size all I could find was the Kinsey study that said average was 6.21 for white guys. I know it was self-measured but it seemed pretty accurate. Like in my high school if you asked anybody what average was it was like 6 or between 6 and 7 and whenever I have asked girls I have been with they said the same thing. And obviously that made a lot of guys feel crappy so then all these studies started coming out saying it was no like 5.9 or 5.7 and then the more guys were vocal about it they just kept inventing more studies where the average has gotten lower and lower until now whenever guys confess their fears everybody just points to that one study that said like 5.2 is average.

Well I looked at that study in detail and honestly it’s like total bs and it’s such a lie to say it measured 15,000 men. Yeah they considered studies with that many guys, like hundreds of studies but then they hand-picked 8 for some random reason, 6 of which were from Asia and showed ridiculously small sizes. And of the 2 that were domestic one was of guys who were specifically seeking enlargement surgery and the other, well, it said what all the previous studies said which was like 5.9 or something. So basically they handpicked studies to pretend the average was lower than it was and now whenever a guy brings up insecurities they just point to that study like it’s gospel or something.

I just find it so irritating. Like, guys have this legitimate worry and society cannot be quicker to find ways to just try to brush it aside and pretend it’s not a real worry. Like somehow they found a way to still just blame us for being irrational when we come out with like the one overarching worry guys have. It’s like if you’re anywhere close to 5 inches you’re not even allowed to be insecure about your size cuz you are written off as some irrational freak or something even though behind our backs there are so so so many instances of celebrities and girls of all kinds making fun of guys in the like 5 inch range. Like does anybody who’s 5 inches really feel big? No of course not cuz we know 5 isn’t the real average cuz we’re not idiots. We’ve all been in locker rooms and seen amateur guys but it’s like if we speak up we just get shouted down that we’re average and should stop worrying about it. I talked with an anonymous therapist briefly (I’d never tell a real one about my penis cuz I’m terrified of the embarrassment) and that’s basically the answer I got from her which was so patronizing – basically that it was average so it’s not really an issue. It’s like she didn’t even want the time of day with that insecurity, even though who knows how many of her friends she jokes about any guy she’s been with who’s even close to 5.

The other thing she did and which society constantly does to us guys is like try to make us feel guilty about wanting to be bigger. Like, seriously being within the range of “average” is supposed to make me feel good enough to not lack confidence over this? I mean imagine if I treated other things that way. My mom relentlessly pounded on me that nothing short of A’s in school were acceptable and that I needed to be the absolute best. Same thing in sports, music, other activities. It’s like I’m being held to this standard of having to be like in the top percentiles of every single thing in my life except my most prized asset and ability to please girls I’m supposed to be confident with “average”, even if I was average? Let’s be real. Like, if the Kinsey study was true I’d be between the 3rd and 13th percentiles size wise and if this ridiculous new study was true I’d still only be between like the 26th and 56th percentiles (factoring in measuring error, and yes I’m a statistics nerd. I first looked up cock size stats when I was taking AP Statistics in high school). Like, really? That means out of 20 guys in one study between 17 and 19 are going to be bigger than me and in the other between 8 and 15 are going to be bigger. What other area of life would I be content with that? Or would that make me confident? Oh, like only 90% of your class is smarter than you, so it’s not big deal. Wtf? My mom would have freaked if I got a B, much less a C or D or F. But to be in “A” territory on penis size, like 95th percentile or above, I’d have to be like 7 or 8 inches+ no matter what study you look at and no matter how much I cheat I’m nowhere close to that. Honestly from everything I’ve seen over the years I could believe like 20th percentile maybe and that might be max. So it pisses me off cuz it’s like all this stuff I can affect through effort I can be really good at even if not the very best, but then this one like most core thing I’m stuck being like near the bottom or average at best and it just seems to transfer to everything in life. Why can’t society understand why this is a legitimate insecurity for guys, particularly guys who are trying to be the best at stuff? Why do they ridicule us for acting like it’s a legitimate issue and then behind our back they are making comments about how inadequate not even 5 inch cocks are while assholes like random rappers and athletes and enemies of guys like us are carrying big ones around. It’s so damn frustrating. Society cares about everybody else’s problems but when it comes to ours they can’t even be bothered or worse just keep making fun of us and telling us to not worry about it. Ok now that I’ve worked myself back into crazy depression I’ll stop.

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On 10/11/2018 at 10:10 PM, GoldenBoyX said:

 

Well I looked at that study in detail and honestly it’s like total bs and it’s such a lie to say it measured 15,000 men. Yeah they considered studies with that many guys, like hundreds of studies but then they hand-picked 8 for some random reason, 6 of which were from Asia and showed ridiculously small sizes. And of the 2 that were domestic one was of guys who were specifically seeking enlargement surgery and the other, well, it said what all the previous studies said which was like 5.9 or something. So basically they handpicked studies to pretend the average was lower than it was and now whenever a guy brings up insecurities they just point to that study like it’s gospel or something. 

I just find it so irritating. Like, guys have this legitimate worry and society cannot be quicker to find ways to just try to brush it aside and pretend it’s not a real worry. Like somehow they found a way to still just blame us for being irrational when we come out with like the one overarching worry guys have. It’s like if you’re anywhere close to 5 inches you’re not even allowed to be insecure about your size cuz you are written off as some irrational freak or something even though behind our backs there are so so so many instances of celebrities and girls of all kinds making fun of guys in the like 5 inch range. Like does anybody who’s 5 inches really feel big? No of course not cuz we know 5 isn’t the real average cuz we’re not idiots. We’ve all been in locker rooms and seen amateur guys but it’s like if we speak up we just get shouted down that we’re average and should stop worrying about it. I talked with an anonymous therapist briefly (I’d never tell a real one about my penis cuz I’m terrified of the embarrassment) and that’s basically the answer I got from her which was so patronizing – basically that it was average so it’s not really an issue. It’s like she didn’t even want the time of day with that insecurity, even though who knows how many of her friends she jokes about any guy she’s been with who’s even close to 5.

 

Well what you should really do is instead of picking one number and saying that is the average size think more of a range. I think most guys fall within the range of 5 to 7 inches. Once outside that range the percentage of men being that size drops steadily.

You have been in locker rooms and seen guys but were they erect? you have no idea how big someone is until they are. Sure if they have a bigger flaccid size there's more chance they get bigger than average but not always. The problem with a lot of guys with small dicks is we didn't get a brain that can deal with it. There are plenty of guys who are small who have no problem with it. They just get on with their lives, get married have kids and no hang ups with being small. They are the lucky ones.

Really it all comes down to the individual woman. Some care, some don't and the smaller you are the more they are likely to care. I don't blame them. If it's so small you can't feel anything then why bother. The trick is to find one of those that is willing to live with it.

I completely understand how you feel though.

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I was one stared at by a preteen boy in YMCA lockerroom then he turned his head away and pressed him lips together like he was tryna hold back a snicker. I literally pulled my shorts up so quick and went home 

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I'm at 5.2 nbp and around 5.8 bone pressed. I had to give up sports due to mocking when showering. I'm way more inclined o believe the Kinsey study. 5.2 bone pressed was done slightly stretching flaccid dicks so the average is probably at least closer to 6bp plus at an absolute minimum. The lifestyle condom company study came up with 5.9 and I think that was nbp.

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2 hours ago, Sickandtired said:

I'm at 5.2 nbp and around 5.8 bone pressed. I had to give up sports due to mocking when showering. I'm way more inclined o believe the Kinsey study. 5.2 bone pressed was done slightly stretching flaccid dicks so the average is probably at least closer to 6bp plus at an absolute minimum. The lifestyle condom company study came up with 5.9 and I think that was nbp.

I'm sorry to hear that, but that has nothing to do with your erect length, it has more to do with uninformed people.

It's a fact what @lifelongvirgin said. The bigger the flaccid, the bigger the chances of being big, but that's not an absolute and there is a huge % of exceptions.

The same way erect size is a bell shaped curve, flaccid / erect ratio it's the same. Most people grows around 1.5" - 2" from flaccid to erect but there are people that grows almost nothing and people that grows more than 4".

The only way to tell for sure one penis erect size is to measure it, you can't draw conclusions from locker rooms.

By the way, lifestyle was bone pressed:
 

Quote

 

LifeStyles (USA/Mexico)

Subjects (N) 300
  cm inches
Flaccid Length
Flaccid Girth
Erect Length 14,92 5,9
Erect Girth 12,63 5,0
Stretched length

From March 11 to 17, 2001 a total 300 males over the age of 18 were measured, one at a time, by qualified medical staff in private tents at the Dady Rock nightclub in Cancun, Mexico during spring break.

The personnel measured the length and the circumference, the length was measured Bone Pressed but there is no information about where the circumference was measured.
 

 

 


You probably are an extreme grower and your experiences because your small flaccid biased your perception about your real size. There are many more like you on this forum, me included. It's hard to believe you are average erect when you look so tiny flaccid in comparision with everybody, but that's nature, you are in the middle of the bell curve for size but in the very upper part for the flaccid / erect ratio, many guys with bigger flaccid penises are smaller than you, that's the trick.
 

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On 10/12/2018 at 12:10 AM, GoldenBoyX said:

they just kept inventing more studies where the average has gotten lower and lower until now whenever guys confess their fears everybody just points to that one study that said like 5.2 is average.

No, you are quite wrong.  The best scientific studies conducted by urologists on random samples indicate the average is somewhere between 5.1 and 5.5 inches.  This means 50% of men are smaller.  There is no such thing as an average range, however!  Not a valid statistical concept.  5-7 leaves out the large % below average in the 4-5" range.

Yes, sexually active adventurous guys tend to be bigger because that gives them confidence.  So active women tend to be exposed to larger.    So size really is a valid worry.

See Measurection.com for the data.

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On 12/20/2018 at 6:08 AM, Sickandtired said:

I'm at 5.2 nbp and around 5.8 bone pressed. I had to give up sports due to mocking when showering. I'm way more inclined o believe the Kinsey study. 5.2 bone pressed was done slightly stretching flaccid dicks so the average is probably at least closer to 6bp plus at an absolute minimum. The lifestyle condom company study came up with 5.9 and I think that was nbp.

Clearly, you are talking about your flaccid as drawing some mocking unless you regularly get erections in the showers.  My flaccid sometimes retracts to nothing.  Most people are afraid to mock me, but I notice their shock sometimes!  It would be even more embarrassing if they could see my erection.  Never quit sports because of it, but avoided having a group of close friends.  They knew me only in sports and class as I knew that "peer groups" became too personally familiar about such things for my tastes.

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On 3/4/2019 at 12:43 PM, lbaker said:

Clearly, you are talking about your flaccid as drawing some mocking unless you regularly get erections in the showers.  My flaccid sometimes retracts to nothing.  Most people are afraid to mock me, but I notice their shock sometimes!  It would be even more embarrassing if they could see my erection.  Never quit sports because of it, but avoided having a group of close friends.  They knew me only in sports and class as I knew that "peer groups" became too personally familiar about such things for my tastes.

Not all of us went to schools where classmates, teammates, and peer groups could be disaggregated.

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On 4/10/2019 at 2:51 AM, GoldenBoyX said:

Not all of us went to schools where classmates, teammates, and peer groups could be disaggregated.

I stayed at arms length with everyone.  No real peer group at all.

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On 4/21/2019 at 4:14 PM, FloridaDood898 said:

why? was this due to your size concern or you just preferred your own company.

Several factors.  One, I was naturally shy and unaggressive,  Two, my puberty was very late.  Three, I didn't have sex or even date until I was 20.  Four, my penis size would start to be an issue when I even started to have a peer group.  I know it is rare, but I participated and was successful on several sports teams without being part of the group.  Worked ok in baseball.  No so good in basketball.

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I get the being shy part I know I was the same but why would having a smaller penis (if really an issue) matter with friends?! I assume friends you'd just socialize with on a mostly daily basis not girls you'd try and get with. Why would they care of a fellow friends penis size? big or small I didn't care to know what size my friends were and regardless if I knew it would have absolutley zero bearing on our friendship.

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On 4/22/2019 at 2:56 PM, FloridaDood898 said:

I get the being shy part I know I was the same but why would having a smaller penis (if really an issue) matter with friends?! I assume friends you'd just socialize with on a mostly daily basis not girls you'd try and get with. Why would they care of a fellow friends penis size? big or small I didn't care to know what size my friends were and regardless if I knew it would have absolutley zero bearing on our friendship.

Uh, people, even friends, want to feel superior whenever they can, even "nice" people.  If they aren't overtly put down artists, they are patronizing.

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On 4/29/2019 at 9:36 AM, FloridaDood898 said:

in my life experience its always been for other reasons. For the most part I've never even known my friends sizes.

Are you substantially small?  Below 5.5 erect or very small flaccid?  If not, of course you might not be aware.

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On 4/29/2019 at 7:36 AM, FloridaDood898 said:

in my life experience its always been for other reasons. For the most part I've never even known my friends sizes.

My SPS was a late bloomer....

I thought I was normal because I was little bit bigger than the penises portrayed in those  classical statues. If wasn't until reading an article about the smallness of them that I found out...My erect size is 5.7  inches and what bothers me the most a girth of 4.5 inches in a VERY good day  while bone pressing.  I've  visited sexologists such and they all tell me that "you are exactly average" yet I see a celebrity with a size like mine and they are ridiculed for being small. Hey I've even seen feminists  who happen to hate every body shaming possible also making fun of penises.

 

Geez =(

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On 10/12/2018 at 12:10 AM, GoldenBoyX said:

Society cares about everybody else’s problems but when it comes to ours they can’t even be bothered or worse just keep making fun of us and telling us to not worry about it. Ok now that I’ve worked myself back into crazy depression I’ll stop.

That is correct.  We live in a phallocracy.  

However, you are making an error in doubting size statistics.  Yes, everyone looks larger in porn, in the locker room, and in the dating scene.  That is because average is rejected in the porn business, most small guys and some average avoid the locker room, and average and definitely small guys are not very active in dating, especially in sexually active dating.  Average and small guys don't have the confidence for the sexual dating scene.

So yes, if you are around the 5" average, and definitely if you are below 4.5,  you will look surprisingly small in the locker room and in the sexual dating scene.  If you are sensitive you will have a problem.  At 4-3/8" I certainly did.  High T guys hate being average or small too, but nothing can stop them!

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5 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

Are you saying that High T guys will continue to pursue sexual congress despite phallic shortcomings?  

Yes, there are many examples of that in my experience, but small penis and low T probably correlate!  After all, it is when T starts being supplied to the fetus that the penis starts to form and grow and then later at puberty when T is supposed to spike.  My puberty was very late and slow.  No spike, thus no rapid penis growth nor spurt in assertiveness when most others were getting geared-up and into gear!

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13 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

So what did you do?  

When I finally started to date late in college, I used mental denial in combination with alcohol.  Somehow, I used to convince myself I was "about 6" though I never measured.  I almost never socialized or had sex without drinking.

I'm not advocating this.  Drinking creating its own set of problems!  "Denial" was like walking on a narrow mountain footpath at the edge of ledge with a 1000 foot drop-off.

Seems to me it should be possible to have a realistic estimate of ones handicap and act accordingly.  I think it is important not to over or under-estimate ones penile handicap.  Learning to take the negative opinions of others, especially men, in stride wouldn't hurt either.

But I don't get a repeat.  

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On 6/21/2019 at 11:46 AM, Helpless_loner said:

My SPS was a late bloomer....

I thought I was normal because I was little bit bigger than the penises portrayed in those  classical statues. If wasn't until reading an article about the smallness of them that I found out...My erect size is 5.7  inches and what bothers me the most a girth of 4.5 inches in a VERY good day  while bone pressing.  I've  visited sexologists such and they all tell me that "you are exactly average" yet I see a celebrity with a size like mine and they are ridiculed for being small. Hey I've even seen feminists  who happen to hate every body shaming possible also making fun of penises.

Some women hate men because a man or several men have hurt them.  They strike out at what they know hurts most.

5.7 x 4.5 is above average though a bit on the thin size.  Compared to a lot of us you have no handicap.  What celebritys "should have" according to the star struck is irrelevant.

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7 hours ago, lbaker said:

Some women hate men because a man or several men have hurt them.  They strike out at what they know hurts most.

5.7 x 4.5 is above average though a bit on the thin size.  Compared to a lot of us you have no handicap.  What celebritys "should have" according to the star struck is irrelevant.

I know my SPS has taken over my life and affected me in more areas than just sex (which is actually worse that my contempt for my penis itself ) but from the bottom of my heart I wish I could believe those numbers of 14.8 cms (5.82 inches) being the average. I mean, in a good day that's what I can achieve bone pressing and 4.3-4.5 (which depresses me even more) again in good day. That's why even though I'm 31 years old I still remain virgin and everyday that goes by, the whole "crave for sex + afraid of sex + guilt. hatred" grow over.  

I wish there was a way to safely increase it....I mean, with hormones science can turn a man into a"woman"  and viceversa.  Why there's no "simple pills" to "re  introduce" puberty or something like that??? Meh =(.  I don't want to be huge  pornstar size-wise. I would give a kidney to be 6.6 inches in length (nbp) and 5.2 girth. With that I would  overcome the fear of dating.....Geez!

The way I see it in the  -I know- relentless internet is that there's no such thing as an "average". Men are either big or small, nothing in between .I would go as far as saying that "average = still small".

 

PS Even though I hate my flaccid size, small balls and therefore overall bulge (8.6 cms/ 3.4 inches  in a good day) erect size is my main concern. As I once read "flaccid is for you, erect is for her". I've heard that jelqing done in a proper manner  can help you, but I dunno.

 

 

 

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