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Dear sir/madam,

I am a resident of [address removed by a forum moderator] Dhaka, Bangladesh.My house no is [address removed by a forum moderator].For the last few months i was a victim of serious mental abuse.A group of local thug(especially who is in 2nd floor,5th floor and other side of the 6th floor) is continuously scolding and threatening me  i.e till i wake up(1am-6am).They are causing me lot of dreams at night.For that reason i am dreaming a lot of bad and fearful dream.I am sure a group of people are causing this.I am getting sicker.

My cognitive and thinking capability is getting worsen.I suspect a group of  spiritual  and religious cults are causing this.It became unbearable and nowadays i can not sleep during night.I am very frightened all the time that the thugs might kill me anytime and there is no one help or support me.For this reason sometimes i feel suicidal.
I will be very grateful to you if you take necessary action regarding this matter and provide assistance.
Yours sincerely,
Raisul 
 
My location
[location removed by a forum moderator]
Edited by LaLa
concerns for privacy and safety

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Hello, Raisul, welcome!

I'm sorry you're in such a difficult, terrible situation! :( 

First of all, I'd like to explain why I removed your address from your post: We cannot directly help you even knowing your location, so it's not useful, yet it could potentially lead to your identification here by someone who'd be dangerous for you (for instance, by your abusers, who could find out how their actions impact your life and figure out how to be even more effective in their actions, and / or they could see here what your plans to escape them are). I hope it wouldn't be probable, but I still prefer not to take the risk, so I recommend you not to post any personal information on-line. In case you find here a member of this forum who could somehow help you, you could then send him / her more info by a personal message, invisible to others.

I'm very sorry but this forum can only "provide help" in form of communication (and, sometimes, finding information), not direct intervention. So I cannot see how we could directly help you to get safe. I hope some of our members will come up with some useful ideas, though.

If I may ask: Do you live alone and are you in contact with someone close to you, like a trusted friend or family member? Or are you all alone to face this stressful situation?

It's hard for me to think about possible solutions as I'm not at all familiar with services available in Bangladesh. :( For instance, it seems that contacting police is not an option for you (??) - yet that's what I would suggest as the first thing to do. In "Western" countries, there are also various associations that protect tenants and help to solve conflicts between niegahbours, but I have no idea is there is an analogous organisation where you live.

Also, I don't know if there are some services that could directly help you with the resulting mental health issues - have you searched for a psychologist or a social worker, for instance?

And wouldn't it be somehow possible for you to leave your apartment - either to move "forever" to another city or to live temporarily with a friend or family member (and go there somehow so that the abusers couldn't see you)?

You mention "assistance" - what kinds of assistance would you want precisely, in "an ideal case"?

Is there something we can do in this limited framework of an (international) internet forum (without other members from Bangladesh)?

Good luck and take care!!!

It is hard to endure, but taking your life would not be a real solution: Isn't it a better, safe life what you truly wish for?

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Thanks for your reply LaLa,

I have gone to several churches,pagodas and temples to discuss about that issues.They said that, they had no witness about my dream, they also said that they have nothing to do with dreams.I also said that to my several friends and family, but they said that its my psychological problem and they ordered me to go to doctors or psychologists.But its sure that when i am away from my apartment, i did not see any dream and my sleep is good.I have no psychological problem.Besides i am so poor that i have no money to go see a healthcare professional.My health is getting worsen.I can not change my apartment, because i live with my parents.My parents said that they did not experience anything like me.So i am helpless here.Nobody in my area believes me.But a group of my neighbors trying to make me mad.They are trying trying to kill me slowly and indirectly.They are continuously attacking me during my deep sleep.Therefore i dream a lot.Its the group of people who are making these dreams and injecting me.The dreams i dreamt have no relation with the thoughts of mine.I don't know what to do next.I don't know why on earth i am being attacked?Besides i have no criminal records.I am just a unsocial techie  guy trying to learn new things all day long, even i had not done any harm to others.Please help me.I am getting sicker day by day.

 

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@Raisul - sorry you are going through hell.  Lord knows I have had my share of bullying and obnoxious people in the past.  It makes me shudder to even think about it.  

I am not sure how they are effecting your dreams but maybe try sleeping at a different time of day if possible?  I was had a problem w night noise from horrible people and I would go to bed as soon as I got home from work and sleep for a few hours.  

Its so hard to lend council from such a distance.  Sometimes the problem resolves when the people move which was my case.  

Best of luck and best wishes to you.  Stay strong.  

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Hi, Raisul,

I've only understood clearly that your problems are limited to your dreams from your second post (now I see it also in the first - you wrote "[...] is continuously scolding and threatening me  i.e till i wake up"). It means you're not in physical danger; they are not bullying or abusing you in person, your distress is caused by the nightmares. That's probably not less distressing, but it's a purely psychological problem, not one that could be solved by police or, probably, moving to a different city.

From what you wrote, it seem that you're totally convinced that the culprits are your neighbours. How have you come to that conclusion? Is it only because you see them in your dreams that you suppose they actually cause the dreams, thus the suffering? Or do the people also do you some harm in person, when you meet them?

I'm asking you not because I would doubt your experience (it's very clear you're suffering a lot :(); I'm asking to understand better the problem, so that you could find an appropriate solution. There is a possibility that your suffering is caused only by your brain, i.e. a mental illness, yet you're attributing it to an external cause, based on the content of the dreams. (Imagine that in the dreams, the abusers would be, let's say, talking unicorns - then it would be obvious that unicorns are not the reason, but as the dreams imagery "selected" a group of dangerous people you actually know, it's easy to think they are "somehow involved" in causing the dreams.)

You might suffer, for instance, from Nightmare Disorder: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/conditions/nightmares But it can be more serious; nightmares can also by symptoms of some mental disorders:
https://clinmedjournals.org/articles/jsdm/journal-of-sleep-disorders-and-management-jsdm-3-017.php?jid=jsdm

Quote

Although nearly everyone experiences nightmares at one time or other, frequent nightmares, defined as occurring at least once a week, are endured by about 5% of the population [17]. In the psychiatric population, the prevalence is six times as high as in the general population. The most common psychiatric association is with posttraumatic stress disorder but nightmares are not rare in the schizophrenia population; approximately 10% of psychosis patients are reported to experience frequent, recurring nightmares [18]. Nightmares occasion significant distress and need to be taken seriously by the medical profession because they have been closely linked to suicidal behavior [18,19].

http://therecoverytrust.org/forum/articles/WhatsNew/nightmares.htm

Nightmares in Patients With Psychosis: The Relation With Sleep, Psychotic, Affective, and Cognitive Symptoms: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4542515/

And if you're convinced that those people want to harm you, then in case if they don't actually do anything to you (= you only believe it), then it could be some kind of delusion. I'm not diagnosing you (it would be impossible online and by someone (like me) who's not a doctor), but I'd like to suggest you to research a bit possible mental disorders - for instance, delusions and nightmares are two of typical symptoms of schizophrenia. I hope it's not your case, of course, but maybe you can try doing some tests to check it out:

https://counsellingresource.com/quizzes/misc-tests/schizophrenia-test/

https://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/schizophrenia-symptoms#1

I researched mental health care in Bangladesh and I see it's in a very sad condition :( , yet you're at least lucky that you live in a big city where several services are available. I don't know how expensive they are, but as you're part of a community, perhaps some people could help you with paying for at least some consultation (?).

I've found this, for instance:

http://www.psychologymatters.asia/find_therapist/Bangladesh/

https://www.dhakatribune.com/health/2018/02/18/world-class-mental-health-clinic-opens-dhaka

https://www.thecabindhaka.com.bd/mental-wellness-treatment-services/

I'm sorry this is all I have to offer, at least for now.

If you have some time, please answer my questions (mainly in the second paragraph), including this one:

Is there something we can do for you, in this limited framework of an (international) internet forum (without other members from Bangladesh)? = Do you have something particular in mind when you ask for help?

Take care!

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Thanks for your reply LaLa,

First of all i want to let you know that, i don't believe in nightmares and i have no fear about nightmares.I know about neighbors' (who is in 2nd floor,4th floor,6th floor)voice exactly.Most of the time they hire some thug for causing me dreams and they pay money to the dangerous thugs.Actually the thugs are contractual, i.e they abuse,torture,humiliate even kill people for the money.At the time of  waking  up i hear some one is talking and this is related to dream.When i full awake it stops, and the thugs goes away.

Today a new type of torture begins, at 6.00 am they ordered dogs to bark besides my house, The dogs barks so loudly that i could not sleep.My sleep breaks.When ever i sit to study or sleep, some thugs went on my rooftop and starting to make huge noise, that i can not study and concentrate properly.

I just wanted to sleep, live and study properly.There is none to whom i can share and tell that this is caused by some group of people and they are causing me dreams, not by nightmares.

I just want to do my work peacefully and happily,For these reason my grades are becoming lower and lower, my math and programming ability destroyed.I don't know how to recover.I am just a poor guy.Even i have no money to hire thugs and stop this dream.If i have the money i could hire thugs and stop these incidents and also  going to a good psychologist.

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I'm sorry you're going through this, Raisul. :(

It sounds as though you don't feel safe. Do these feelings occur anywhere else besides your apartment? Have they ever happened in the past? What helps you to feel safe?

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@IrmaJean these feelings do not occur anywhere besides my apartment.I was in this type of situation ten years ago.When i was a child of 14 years old.I was bullied,physically and mentally tortured by my teachers and elders.I don't want to live in that city.I will definitely move to the another country after my graduation.There is no sympathy and mercy in my neighborhood.Please help me.I just want to do my work peacefully.Please provide assistance.

 

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Raisul,

Please believe me: we are not withholding help.  But we can't chase away the things you see, much less the things you believe.

You're studying IT, so you're a logical person who understands how the world works.  What would you say to one of your friends if they told you their neighbors were tormenting them in their dreams?

People sometimes see and hear things that aren't there.  But these sensory inputs seem so real that they try to explain them using magical thinking, because nothing else can explain them.  This condition is called schizophrenia, and it's harmful because gradually the person moves farther and farther from reality.  They may begin to believe that strangers are out to get them, that others know things such as exactly when they're trying to get to sleep, and they get upset because no one believes them.

I believe that you hear the voices of your neighbors, I believe this only happens when you're home, and I believe that you believe your explanation of all that.

What I wonder is whether you would be open to explore other possible explanations.  You are willing to ask for help to change the causes you believe in;  could you ask for help to make sure your belief is correct, first?

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And the reason that I suspect some part of you doesn't believe your explanation is that you posted this on a mental health website rather than a thugs-for-hire website.

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Thanks for your sympathy and reply malign,

I mailed to Human Rights Watch. In reply they suggested this website to me.I truly believe that this was caused by other people.But their continuous disturbance,abuse, torture , humiliation for the last 2 years made me mentally and physically sick.The most saddest thing is that whenever i say that, this happened in my deep dream caused by other people,then my friends and family do not believe this.For the past one year i had no deep sleep.Whenever i am in sleep, i am in my dream working.Therefore i don't feel fresh in the morning.But i slept 8-10 hours.Therefore all day i feel tired and sleepy.

 

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Raisul, it seems like you may well need to consult a psychological professional about this. Just a couple of techniques that may help too - before you go to bed imagine having safe, comfortable, pleasant dreams, visualize nice scenes, listen to pleasant music you like, maybe light a candle for yourself and focus on it. If you wake up having had a nightmare repeat the above and keep repeating it.

If you hear a 'voice' or 'voices' that threaten, mentally 'say' silence and imagine turning the volume down on it/them to zero and keep doing it anytime you may hear anything. You could use your IT thinking and mentally press a delete button on it/them. Do the same any time you hear anything.  Adopt a zero tolerance approach. Distraction techniques may also help, like listening to soothing sounds of your choice. If you keep practising these techniques it may get easier. 

Just to add you could imagine a buzzer sound going off that blocks any threatening sound you may hear too, sound blocking the unwanted sound.

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Raisul, I would also say don't despair. All sorts of techniques are in the pipeline to help manage verbal hallucinations, not that I want to or would even try to diagnose you.  Here's one article about an approach;

https://www.mentalhealthtoday.co.uk/news/mental-health-disorders/study-demonstrates-technique-where-people-with-schizophrenia-can-control-voices

In a nutshell, mentally landing a rocket on the unwanted sounds and practising that. This study was done with an MRI scanner to start with, however could well be worth a try yourself.

I do agree too that a change of scene/location can help a lot, but understand you cannot do this, so try to make your apartment as comfy as possible, change/refresh things within it to make yourself feel as safe as you can and don't just stay in one room.

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Also a number of companies sell high quality ear plugs that are meant for sleeping.  Bose makes a pair but so do many others such as earpeace and Flare audio.  I have not used ear plugs but imagine they can only help.  

I know you said you are working w limited resources there in Bangladesh 🇧🇩 so maybe start w cotton balls or whatever.  

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Thanks jazz and Victimorthecrime  for your suggestion,

First of all i wanted to let you know that, i am so poor that i can not afford to buy AC.So i have to keep my window open all night long.You know it is very warm, hot,hazy and humid in dhaka.

So that time, some people goes at my rooftop or at 4th floor when i am in deep sleep to guide me.In that case i remove my bed from the window as far as possible.But still they are able to guide me and i am dreaming lots of dreams whole night.

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Raisul, it's difficult if it's hot, I don't know if a normal fan would help? Re. the thugs, they are probably very ignorant if they are bullies - as malign says , is it really realistic to think they could affect what you are dreaming? You worry they are somehow 'religious', they sound more like an antisocial nuisance.

Also. what are the dreams of - is there some sort of theme going on? Maybe only a professional skilled in psychology can help you through this.

I would consider telling your tutors you are struggling if you haven't already so they can hopefully make allowances with your studies.

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Raisul, do you think it's possible the nightmares you have been experiencing could be a response to your daytime distress? You mentioned being bullied in the past. That kind of experience, especially if it was ongoing, can stay with a person and affect their mental health. It also sounds like you have been having difficulty getting restorative sleep. Sleep deprivation can wreak havoc on both physical and mental health. Have you considered seeing a medical doctor about your sleep difficulties? I also agree that seeing a psychologist might be helpful.

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