Jump to content
Mental Support Community
Sign in to follow this  
ThisSucks

Acceptance and Craigslist is our hope( lol)

Recommended Posts

What's up guys, I'm gonna get straight to the point. Once upon a time I too languished in misery over this issue. But I got tired and came to the conclusion that I can either:

1. Continue to obsess over it and be miserable 

2. Kill myself

 3. Accept the situation and figure out how to make the best of these circumstances.

I ended up choosing option #3.

By this time I was so defeated that I was willing to try anything. I mean, what did I have to lose? And really, what do any of us have to lose?

I approached it as an experiment, my new goal was to do whatever it takes to be as happy as possible. So I threw out everything that I thought I knew and was like "okay, I've got a small penis, now what?". 

Well, I had to accept it. What else is there? 

 But of course by that point the misery was pretty much on auto-pilot -- the obcessing, comparing myself with others, worrying about the future/ grieving over the past, suffering over thwarted ambitions and desires, craving for what others have but I don't, feelings of inferiority and shame,  etc,. that stuff had hijacked and completely taken over my mind.

So I had to tame my mind. I did so via meditation and zen philosophy (living in the moment, realizing selflessness and impermanence, etc).

Soon thereafter I discovered that even though my small penis had contributed to the creation of circumstances that suck, the true origin of most of my suffering lies completely within my head. 

Once I let go of what I cant have and sought harmony with "what is", my mind settled down and things started to get better. 

But now I had to adapt to the situation. As a human I need sex and love. So what did I do? Craigslist ads! 

 By now I had adopted a shameless  "it is what it is and I don't care" attitude, simply threw myself out there, was completely truthful in my ads, kinda like "look, by conventional standards I'm a loser and my dick is small but here's the pros...",   and ya know what? It works! I promise you that no matter your position in life, there's somebody for everybody. 

Life's way too short and and amazing to spend it dwelling on this stuff. It's all a matter of surrendering to the situation and then  figuring out what works. 

In 100 years we'll probably all be dead, might as well embrace the moment and enjoy whatever's possible. 

We cant change our dick size but can change how we respond to it. 

Today I simply do my best and leave the rest up to the universe. 

Good luck 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@ThisSucks well said.  There are those who would say "you're delusional" but I would say it's just as likely that they're delusional.  Why is the negative view (of anything) always seen as real and the positive as delusional? 

I did meditation for years and while I believe there is value in it I also found my consciousness always returned to baseline negative.  Ongoing active positive thinking is what helps me.  There is more to it than that but just to give you the flavor of it and keep it simple I'll leave and that.  

I like that you didn't say "dick size doesn't matter".  Of course it matters.  Everything that exists matters.  HOW it matters, what it means, is up to us.  

We are not in denial. We are not pushing a unicorn 🦄 and rainbow 🌈 farts worldview.  It's about acknowledging and understanding the nature of the mind and the powerful role it plays in life.  

I would love to hear more of your story, your journey and beliefs if you ever care to share.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

@ThisSucks well said.  There are those who would say "you're delusional" but I would say it's just as likely that they're delusional.  Why is the negative view (of anything) always seen as real and the positive as delusional? 

I did meditation for years and while I believe there is value in it I also found my consciousness always returned to baseline negative.  Ongoing active positive thinking is what helps me.  There is more to it than that but just to give you the flavor of it and keep it simple I'll leave and that.  

I like that you didn't say "dick size doesn't matter".  Of course it matters.  Everything that exists matters.  HOW it matters, what it means, is up to us.  

We are not in denial. We are not pushing a unicorn 🦄 and rainbow 🌈 farts worldview.  It's about acknowledging and understanding the nature of the mind and the powerful role it plays in life.  

I would love to hear more of your story, your journey and beliefs if you ever care to share.  

 

Sure, I'Il get into the nuts and bolts of that stuff one day but not right now.

I can share a little bit though. As for my beliefs, if I were to sum it all up I'd say that I simply try to see  life *as it is* and then deal with it as skillfully as possible. 

And I meditate alot. Initially it sucked but the magic started happening once I stopped trying to get anything out of it. I just do it. And I do it everyday regardless of how I feel or what's going on. This simple practice and the insights gained therefrom have radically changed my life; without it I'd be dead (pretty sure of that). 

Before the positive change I walked an incredibly difficult road -- dysfunctional family, drug addiction, crime, rehabs, prison, homelessness, you name it. In hindsight, as ridiculous as it sounds today, a major contributing factor was -- you guessed it!-- the size of my penis and inability to deal with it at that time. I begun to hate life and started isolating and self medicating during my teens and then it just sorta spun out of control from there. 

Personally, I've found that dick size matters only if you care. Believe it or not, I no longer do. And I screw women who dont care, either. And even if they do care, so what ? The fact that they're willing to engage in sexual activities with me is good enough.

While having a small penis certainly limits us in what and who we can do,  I dont obsess or worry about it. What's the point in beating myself up over something that I had no control? Instead, I focus on living my life, on playing the role that the universe has assigned me. And that role includes having a small dick. So what do I do? The best I can...and let the chips fall wherever they may. 

Back in the day I too woulda called this kind of thinking delusional, "oh no, we're hopeless!".   But today I'd say that worrying about stuff that can't be changed is delusional. I'd say that feeling the need to ask other adult males in an internet forum questions like "will reducing my fat pad make me bigger" or " whats your size nbp"  is "delusional". 

Ya know, looking at the bigger picture, today I'm just genuinely grateful for having had the opportunity to exist. Think about it:  What is this? What are we? Whats going on?  We're mysterious fragile beings with short life-spans existing on the side of a giant spinning ball in the middle of nowhere, this is amazing. We get so caught up in our day to day lives and worries that we fail to realize how "miraculous" and amazing it is that we're alive, ya know?

Happiness is possible if the people here want it. If I can do it then others can too. Accept your situation and live your lives.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, lifelongvirgin said:

You can't post personal ads on Craigslist anymore. How's that for positive? lol

Wow, that sucks! I haven't had any use for it in a good while as I've been in a relationship, had no idea. But that's probably a good thing considering the prostitution of human trafficking victims that happened there (many of those girls selling services on C.L appeared really young, often their faces would be blurred in the pics). 

But still, though I haven't tried them, there's other internet dating options, doesn't necessarily have to be c.l. as the whole idea is to be able to fully describe one's situation upfront so as to weed out those who would humiliate/reject us. 

I would have found it incredibly difficult (probably almost impossible) to start dating again without the internet because being upfront about my dick with potential partners was key. Having to possibly endure multiple face ro face rejections woulda pushed me over the edge!

There's still hope.

Okay, later.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎12‎/‎25‎/‎2018 at 10:07 PM, ThisSucks said:

Wow, that sucks! I haven't had any use for it in a good while as I've been in a relationship, had no idea. But that's probably a good thing considering the prostitution of human trafficking victims that happened there (many of those girls selling services on C.L appeared really young, often their faces would be blurred in the pics). 

But still, though I haven't tried them, there's other internet dating options, doesn't necessarily have to be c.l. as the whole idea is to be able to fully describe one's situation upfront so as to weed out those who would humiliate/reject us. 

I would have found it incredibly difficult (probably almost impossible) to start dating again without the internet because being upfront about my dick with potential partners was key. Having to possibly endure multiple face ro face rejections woulda pushed me over the edge!

There's still hope.

Okay, later.

Nice half hearted pitch there to rally the troops. Well, as I'm sure your message had profound meaning through that wishy wash speech you laid there, you're only advice is or was Craigslist's personal ads. A section that has been axed for awhile now. As your only food of thought is online dating applications, I have to say your not providing anything differently then the few thousand men, who suffer from SPS, with the old college try routine. No offense,  but its a very glib response. The truth of the matter is this: 

Neo feminism has taken things into a different direction. I'm not saying an inexplicable direction, but a direction that has been boiling for quite some time. The hardcore women of today are making changes, and they're getting by with this changes because men keep fucking it up. We are the bottom feeders, gentlemen. If a woman do decides to mate with us, to procreate with any of us, its because we're being settled for. As every guy should be aware of is that, when a woman settles for something or for a guy, she makes it known to the guy. And she will not beat around the bush about it. This is a material world, and it belongs to the material girls. Expect there to be several dozens of hoops to jump through to keep her around. The kind of hoops that a guy with a average size or larger wouldn't have to go through. The instant that we come off remotely secure  or relaxed in the relationship, the gears will be turning in their heads with thoughts:

"He isn't jumping through hoops for me anymore. Who does he think he is?? I settled for him! No woman would put up with his lack of size but me. I deserve better. I'm gonna get better. I wonder what Mark is doing?? I heard he has a pretty good size." 

To the extent of something like that haha. My point being is that if a woman likes are personality, finds us attractive, but is disappointed with our size, well, she's gonna automatically think that she's better than us, and she deserves better, or she's plagued with crippling insecurities that, to her, no "normal" guy will ever put up with, so she'll still settle because it's better than being alone. 

So our options, as bottom feeders,  is: 

a) Hope for the best, and shoot for the stars.

b) Jump through constant hoops for the woman to atone for your penis size, size, in which you have no control over, and it's better than being alone.

c) Serial date for the rest of your existence and hope you get some woman pregnant by accident so you can somehow continue your linage.

d) Accept being alone. Embrace it, because you'll never settle for less than what your worth is. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am such a big fan of your writing Desolate Ronin. If only I had you skills, but to be fair English is my second language.

I like you pessimism and ability to cut through wishy washy bs.

I completely agree with your view on women settling with us. As I have pm'ed you we, men with small penises, are being naturally selected out of the loop.  Evolution proves this due to the fact that the human penis size is proportionally much larger than in other primates. It's an unwelcome truth that often is protested in here.  When small penis guys procreate it's an evolutionary anomaly.

There is a chink in the armour of your otherwise brilliant theory.  Money , prestige or fame. It is a well known fact that women are suckers for these and maybe these play a pivotal role as to why the afforementioned anomalies happen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, TheDane said:

I am such a big fan of your writing Desolate Ronin. If only I had you skills, but to be fair English is my second language.

I like you pessimism and ability to cut through wishy washy bs.

I completely agree with your view on women settling with us. As I have pm'ed you we, men with small penises, are being naturally selected out of the loop.  Evolution proves this due to the fact that the human penis size is proportionally much larger than in other primates. It's an unwelcome truth that often is protested in here.  When small penis guys procreate it's an evolutionary anomaly.

There is a chink in the armour of your otherwise brilliant theory.  Money , prestige or fame. It is a well known fact that women are suckers for these and maybe these play a pivotal role as to why the afforementioned anomalies happen.

It's an epidemic that's on nobodies radar. I've listened to podcasts from comedians to sex therapists, and the one constant flowing theme is for us to shoot for the stars and hope for the best. It's an uncomfortable topic that no one wants to address, and if it remains unaddressed, we'll see a ripple effect. I wouldn't be surprised if there isn't a link between the rate of male suicides and those men having small penises. We're all pretty much are taught to identify ourselves with our penises as being the root to our successes and women are taught this as well. It's only when we find out from one of our partners that we're below average, that ideology of who we thought we were as men, begins to crumble. Resonating and infecting every area of our lives. The key is bringing down the armor and shedding light on the matter, but too many men are afraid to jump into that pool. If women want equality and fairness then they should have that, but as long as men's securities are taking seriously too. I mean, we don't ask for much, right. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/28/2018 at 8:46 AM, Desolate Ronin said:

I wouldn't be surprised if there isn't a link between the rate of male suicides and those men having small penises.

I've often wondered this myself. Trouble is there isn't any sure way of knowing how many guys kill themselves because of this. Unless the person committing suicide either tells somebody or leaves a note saying that it's because of his small penis then most people will assume it's something else. I'm sure most guys wouldn't want the stigma to follow them after they are gone.

Most "normal" people think the idea of someone killing themselves because of the size of their penis is ridiculous. They have no idea. We live in different worlds.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/28/2018 at 10:46 AM, Desolate Ronin said:

one constant flowing theme is for us to shoot for the stars and hope for the best.

That's one of those things that is so easy to say to someone else.  Especially when you don't have to be there after the crash back down to earth.  

Society needs men to be strivers so that we generate tax revenue and stay preoccupied.  

This particular message of striving to sexually insecure men is designed to promote and sustain Goddess culture.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 12/28/2018 at 1:04 AM, Desolate Ronin said:

Nice half hearted pitch there to rally the troops. Well, as I'm sure your message had profound meaning through that wishy wash speech you laid there, you're only advice is or was Craigslist's personal ads. A section that has been axed for awhile now. As your only food of thought is online dating applications, I have to say your not providing anything differently then the few thousand men, who suffer from SPS, with the old college try routine. No offense,  but its a very glib response. The truth of the matter is this: 

Neo feminism has taken things into a different direction. I'm not saying an inexplicable direction, but a direction that has been boiling for quite some time. The hardcore women of today are making changes, and they're getting by with this changes because men keep fucking it up. We are the bottom feeders, gentlemen. If a woman do decides to mate with us, to procreate with any of us, its because we're being settled for. As every guy should be aware of is that, when a woman settles for something or for a guy, she makes it known to the guy. And she will not beat around the bush about it. This is a material world, and it belongs to the material girls. Expect there to be several dozens of hoops to jump through to keep her around. The kind of hoops that a guy with a average size or larger wouldn't have to go through. The instant that we come off remotely secure  or relaxed in the relationship, the gears will be turning in their heads with thoughts:

"He isn't jumping through hoops for me anymore. Who does he think he is?? I settled for him! No woman would put up with his lack of size but me. I deserve better. I'm gonna get better. I wonder what Mark is doing?? I heard he has a pretty good size." 

To the extent of something like that haha. My point being is that if a woman likes are personality, finds us attractive, but is disappointed with our size, well, she's gonna automatically think that she's better than us, and she deserves better, or she's plagued with crippling insecurities that, to her, no "normal" guy will ever put up with, so she'll still settle because it's better than being alone. 

So our options, as bottom feeders,  is: 

a) Hope for the best, and shoot for the stars.

b) Jump through constant hoops for the woman to atone for your penis size, size, in which you have no control over, and it's better than being alone.

c) Serial date for the rest of your existence and hope you get some woman pregnant by accident so you can somehow continue your linage.

d) Accept being alone. Embrace it, because you'll never settle for less than what your worth is. 

   I don't see anything "glib" about encouraging others to accept and work with reality.  What else is there? 

 And Internet dating is simply a good way to get the ball rolling for those who are still insecure. 

And while those scenarios you mentioned can certainly happen, you're assuming that you already know the outcome to everything -- but you don't. I mean, wow, according to you, you know everythingwhat every woman thinks, every woman's motives, and how everything will play out, and none of it's good lol! The downside of this kind of thinking is that it keeps people from even putting themselves out there because they are too afraid of the imagined outcomes. 

While Its true that a small dicked guy probably won't end up with the girl/situation of their dreams, personally I'd prefer to screw women whom aren't necessarily ideal than to do without female contact altogether for life. But I'm all about making the best of this one short life that I've been given, and for me "making the best " of it requires fulfilling basic human needs like love and sex, so I guess we see things differently. 

One thing that I know for myself is that once I accepted things and just stopped giving a sh**,  and started focusing on being as awesome as I can -- the best me that I can be -- better stuff started happening. 

I only recently ended up back on this forum because I had wanted to show my girl that guys suffer from body image issues too (it had popped up in a discussion we were having). After reading a few posts she was like "omg, these poor souls. The bigger problem though is their creepy thinking. I bet theres serial killers in this forum". Lol.

 If nothing else, if what some of you guys are doing isn't working out, then it might be time to try other stuff. 

"Keep doing what you're doing keep getting what you've got" 

 

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, ThisSucks said:

   I don't see anything "glib" about encouraging others to accept and work with reality.  What else is there? 

 And Internet dating is simply a good way to get the ball rolling for those who are still insecure. 

And while those scenarios you mentioned can certainly happen, you're assuming that you already know the outcome to everything -- but you don't. I mean, wow, according to you, you know everythingwhat every woman thinks, every woman's motives, and how everything will play out, and none of it's good lol! The downside of this kind of thinking is that it keeps people from even putting themselves out there because they are too afraid of the imagined outcomes. 

While Its true that a small dicked guy probably won't end up with the girl/situation of their dreams, personally I'd prefer to screw women whom aren't necessarily ideal than to do without female contact altogether for life. But I'm all about making the best of this one short life that I've been given, and for me "making the best " of it requires fulfilling basic human needs like love and sex, so I guess we see things differently. 

One thing that I know for myself is that once I accepted things and just stopped giving a sh**,  and started focusing on being as awesome as I can -- the best me that I can be -- better stuff started happening. 

I only recently ended up back on this forum because I had wanted to show my girl that guys suffer from body image issues too (it had popped up in a discussion we were having). After reading a few posts she was like "omg, these poor souls. The bigger problem though is their creepy thinking. I bet theres serial killers in this forum". Lol.

 If nothing else, if what some of you guys are doing isn't working out, then it might be time to try other stuff. 

"Keep doing what you're doing keep getting what you've got" 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey, if you already have a girl then more power to you. I don't claim to know everything, and I certainly don't every woman's thought. I know what I know through experience and the little that people talk about on the matter - especially women I've been around. All I was trying to eloquently put is that what works for you won't work for the many, and I give kudos for putting yourself out there after many failed attempts. Some of us don't have that ingenuity to pull off what you clearly seem to have. As for me, I go through cycles which starts with me being tired of being alone. I'll put myself out there, and things will start on a good, solid pace until date 3 rolls around, and then its time to get naked. I fake my confidence. I put extra the effort to compensate for what I lack, and give it my all. They'll tell me that they'll call me which they don't, and I'm left with - "I'm back here again." I'll rinse and repeat a few more times until I can't stomach the humiliation, and eventually find myself back in hermit mode. I'm sick of women looking at me like I sold them a bad lemon, in which I have no control over my size. My options are to accept myself as lesser, and shack up with the first woman who doesn't mind my size, regardless of chemistry?? I don't know about you, but I refuse to waste my time with a woman whose constantly and indirectly gonna remind me that she settled for me. My parents settled for each other, and after 30 years, they can't stand each other. I don't want that dude. I want a woman whose gonna see me as an equal regardless penis size which is probably only 15 percent of the female population. 

As far as serial killers, I wouldn't shocked if at least 20 percent of the members on here are serial killers. They gotta vent somehow haha

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×