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YOTH

My Friend Tom

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As many of you already know, my friend Tom who I met in this forum died last year after taking his own life. What many of you won't know, is that not only did he kill himself, but he also murdered his wife. When it happened I was in complete shock, they were most loving couple I'd ever had the pleasure to know. This news was immediately met with an unfair and ignorant backlash from people and news outlets, who didn't know him or his wife calling him a wife beater and an abusive husband. This couldn't have been further from the truth, he was an amazing and loving husband who would have done anything for his wife, but after 4 days without sleep (Insomnia caused by a new medication he was on) he had a major psychotic episode. What makes this whole event so sad, was on the night he murdered his wife and to took his own life, he was at the A&E begging to be sectioned. But he was told to go home, even though a nurse had highly recommended he be sectioned for his own safety. Hers and Tom's wife's pleas fell on deaf ears and the mental health team cut him loose. By 9am, they were both dead. 

After many months of inquests, the coroner found that the NHS was at fault and Tom was ruled to have had diminished responsibility. Massive avoidable failings were brought to light during the inquests, and the nurse on call that night even testified that the mental health team had not only failed them both, but had actually laughed when his wife mentioned his penis anxiety. 

SPS slowly wore Tom down until I didn't even recognise him. 4 days with no sleep was just too much...a culmination of societies apparent God given right to torture another human being over something he couldn't help.

After the ruling, his wife's family finally knew the truth and they were buried together. 

I miss him. 

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That's so terrible and so very sad :( :( :( ...

And... they laughed at SPS??? SPS should be a part of the standard curriculum for all medicine students - how come it is not?? (A naive question, I know :( ...)

Thank you for sharing the truth with us.

I wish all people working at A&Es learn about this and never let something like that happen again.

How do you feel, YOTH, how are you coping?

Take care.

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On 6/28/2019 at 5:31 PM, LaLa said:

That's so terrible and so very sad :( :( :( ...

 

I'm ok, I've done a lot of forgiveness work, a few times over. I don't want the rest of the year to be a focus on what went wrong. He was worth more than grief and mourning, so I'm trying to remember them both exactly how they were before. I just really don't want another guy to feel like he has nobody and do something permanent because of sps. 

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12 hours ago, YOTH said:

It's pretty messed up. 

Horrible!

On 6/28/2019 at 3:31 AM, YOTH said:

 But he was told to go home, even though a nurse had highly recommended he be sectioned for his own safety. Hers and Tom's wife's pleas fell on deaf ears and the mental health team cut him loose. By 9am, they were both dead. 

What does "sectioned" mean?

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