[serious] I feel like everyone thinks im actually retarded

[william noname]

problem 1:

my "friends" dont seem to like me, whenever i try to be funny neither one of them seem to care they dont really seem interested and just.. say ok haha and generic responses but if like another one i the friend group heard what i said and repeated it 1 day later they laught at it for a while... and whenever i ask to them hangout after school they dont want to they just crawl out of it like "i am bizzy today" and sound really u interrested. i started a minecraft server where we could play we played for like 2 weeks, if it wasnt one it was the other. always there was one of them being sligthly at me for something.  so eventually we stopped. 

problem 2:

When i started 8th grade i got special treatment beacuse im bad at math and hate ALOT of stage fright, and bad at english. And i dont want to be like the asshole boys in my grade (10th) beacuse i generally think they are not cool. and didnt want to use social medias like them asmuch but somehow both these things backfired, i got the effect "retarded" Since i never talk in class or anything, and often leave for special treatment, and most of the teachers seem to think so too.. Example: it was music class and i got on groupwork with a girl and 2 cool guys, the girl was the pinnacle of popularity, so were the guys who got in the group, i somehow ended up in that group, when were to start doing class project, i just sat there. While she was showing "dirty pictures" to the cool guys, she even said "you must think were such weird people" i was starred into the floor the rest of the day. this has repeated itselfs in different situvations, and when i get home it isnt a tad bit better at all.

problem 3:

When i goto my mom's she cares alot. what is nice. but when i goto my dad's he often gets angry at for the tiniest thing. example: when i ask can you help me hang up the leds i got for christmas in my room? dad: [irritated voice] So much i should ha done [sight] me: I can do it myself if you tell me how to do it dad: [even more irritated] No. Im am going to do it. me: [sight] dad [Loud very irritated voice] DONT SIGHT AT ME.

from 5th and up my life is just going downhill fast. I used to have good days everyday in 4th grade, then 3 days a week 6th then 1 days in 8th and now half day in 10th.. if this continues by 2nd grade high school there is gona be no good days. also might i mention my grades are just average going from E, D to an C+

 

help i dont understand what im doing wrong.. i dont understand society anymore.. 

 

[LaLa]

Hello, William, welcome!

I'm sorry you're in such pain; feeling rejected by your peers, dealing with a verbally agressive father, having more and more bad days . It can be hard for people to "fit in", especially when you're somehow "different" and when it's in a collective of people who are not understanding, empathetic enough etc., as most teenagers, for instance. Kids and teenagers can be quite cruel to their peers - for instance, by bullying, mocking, or ostracizing / ignoring them; you're certainly not alone in this  (even if you're the only one in your class - are you?). 

I wonder what bothers you more: The way your "so called friends" treat you or the reason why they possibly (/probably?) do it - that they think you're stupid?

Do you think there may be a different reason that they think you're "retarded"? Perhaps you're just not "cool" in their eyes, that's all.

What does your mom think about it? How does she try to help you?

What do you like doing, what do you enjoy and are good at?

And a few questions to understand better your post:

11 hours ago, william noname said:

i was starred into the floor the rest of the day. this has repeated itselfs in different situvations, and when i get home it isnt a tad bit better at all.

How did you feel when you were staring at the floor? Why do you think that you reacted that way?

Also, when you say it repeated itself in different situations, you mean just your reaction to the treatment by others: the staring at the floor?

And, just to be sure; what "it's not at all better at home" means? That you feel the same way even after coming home, or that you also mostly / often "stare at the floor" there?

11 hours ago, william noname said:

help i dont understand what im doing wrong.. i dont understand society anymore.

I'm not sure from your descriptions if what your classmates do is bullying, but at least to some extent, it fulfills the criteria. Perhaps, to begin, you could read about bullying and bullies to understand a bit why some people behave in such "unpleasant" and inappropriate ways. For instance, you can try here (or you can google similar articles in your language, of course) :

https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/bullies.html

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ted+talk+bullying 

https://www.verywellfamily.com/reasons-why-teens-bully-others-460532

https://www.crchealth.com/youth-programs/5-reasons-teens-become-bullies/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201110/7-skills-teaching-your-child-stand-bullies

And as to not understanding society "anymore"... Do you really think you did understand it before?  I think the only think that has changed was that last few years, you have gradually learned a bit more about it, so it doesn't seem as simple as it usually seems to a child. And you can believe me, it's even more complicated and "crazy" than you can see as a teenager. We all gradually discover it's complexities as we grow up and it's part of "maturing" to... find ways how to "deal with" it all. Yes, people are complicated and sometimes impossible t understand, but they are not all "bad"; I believe you'll meet more better people later in your life (at least after school). And there are certainly some strategies how to cope better with your current situation. I suppose a youth psychologist could help you to learn some. Is there a psychologist available to you - in your school or, perhaps, elsewhere?

Good luck, take care and keep up posted!

[IrmaJean]

Hello William and welcome to our community. 🙂

Kids can be very cruel sometimes. I hope their behaviors won't cause you to question yourself. It's okay to be you. I'm sorry you have been hurt. 😢 Social interactions have never come easy to me either throughout my life and especially during my high school years. Do you have any hobbies or interests? Maybe it could be healing to connect with the things you enjoy. You might even make some connections with others who share your interests.

You mentioned your mom. Are you able to share with her and receive support?