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basic11

Small penis syndrom

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Hello ,

I have a very bad form of small penis syndrom. I was a relatively confident guy till i started worrying about my dick 1 year ago.

I am actually not small erect(like 5,6 ich es) its average size but my flaccid is relatively small, nothing special maybe also almost average but i just cant accept its average because i dont feel like it.

I know most guys would live just fine with my size but it makes me so anxious and obsessed i am always distracted by this Feeling of inadequacy. 

Its a psychological problem, i know this but i am so deep in it i dont know how to get out. 

My whole life is affected because i am trying to hide my small flaccid penis because I feel like people can tell through my clothes(i know they cant) 

How do i get over this why i am so anxious?

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Unfortunately, for most of our lives, we're flaccid, so it stands to reason that sometimes guys like us are effected by flaccid size. Its not an easy thing to deal with, especially in our society of porn standards and big dick energy and all that crap. Hopefully being in here and talking to people will help, but it's all internal and trying to find peace in your own mind. The best we can hope for is to find someone who loves us for us and isn't cruel or superficial. 

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@theDane im in my early 20s and i feel like my life is happening and getting worse without me being able to do something about it :(

@YOTH i know its internal, but i dont know how to change my mindset onthis because for me its more like a Feeling than a conviction that flaccid size matters. no matter how offen I hell myself that i am fine the Feeling of having something to hide doesnt go away and its talking so much tom for me. This isnt even about sex for me its so much more, its about confidence and self worth and happines...

 

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I know what you mean, mate. That was always my issue as well. Sex never bothered me because I've always had a good sex life for the most part, but being small flaccid and not being able to function like a normal man fucks with my head. I don't work because of it, I don't work out because of it. I don't feel comfortable being outside because of it (especially in the summer) and I don't like using public toilets because of it. It's a non stop head fuck. 

So instead I just carved out something that was mine and stopped letting it rule the day. My size doesn't change whether I'm angry, depressed or happy, so I just try to stay happy and relaxed (which works for the most part with varying results). You're still young, I'd just try and focus on being stable and proud of yourself. If you let this mindset creep into any new relationships you'll poison it before you have a chance to connect. 

I've said it a good few times on here, but you have to have your own back. Fist bump the guy in the mirror and say enoughs enough. Even if the world thinks of you as small or a freak (which most people won't because they're too obsessed with themselves), you'll never join in and agree. If you hate the guy looking back at you in the mirror, you'll fracture and create a life of constant mental turmoil. Nobody wants to be with a person in turmoil, it's too stressful. 

Anyway, I hope you're feeling better today, but if not, keep posting as there's always someone who'll reply. 

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Thank you for your detailed answer.

You are right that it is important to be stable and love yourself, i know that and i am desperatly trying to find some inner peace. 

You said you dont work because of it, why is that, because of your anxiety or depression(or both) and are you just not working at the moment or longtime  .. obviously this is an important part of life for me too and It has been very exhausting lately and i cant imagine a life where i am  not working but its very hard for me .

One more thing im curious about is if you have any compulsion to "hide" your size like specific clothing or covering with a jacket or smth. because i catched myself doing some things like that and im getting used to it ..

If you dont want to talk about this in Details here you can also write me a private message ;)

Thanks

 

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I don't work because my size effects my confidence and people inevitably pick up on it, probably because I wear it on my sleeve. I struggle in summer because I can't cover up with a coat, but during the winter I pretty much cover up constantly otherwise I just don't go out at all. It sometimes gets so severe I won't even get out the car if I've forgotten my coat, makes me unbelievably uncomfortable. 

My bulge (imo) is fucking terrible, it looks weird and small in every single pair of pants and drives me mad, more so in the past than at the moment. But I'm not affected by depression tbh (except for the odd blip) but anxiety can sometimes cripple me. Like it was today when I was trying on new coats, I get angry and agitated within seconds.  

It's crazy, because I'd be so confident if my flaccid size was bigger, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I just wish I could feel happy in my clothes like everyone else in the world. Even smaller people than me don't have an issue with how they dress, that really pisses me off if I'm honest. Uggghhhh lol, anyway. 

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On 10/29/2019 at 4:53 AM, basic11 said:

Hello ,

I have a very bad form of small penis syndrom. I was a relatively confident guy till i started worrying about my dick 1 year ago.

I am actually not small erect(like 5,6 ich es) its average size but my flaccid is relatively small, nothing special maybe also almost average but i just cant accept its average because i dont feel like it.

I know most guys would live just fine with my size but it makes me so anxious and obsessed i am always distracted by this Feeling of inadequacy. 

Its a psychological problem, i know this but i am so deep in it i dont know how to get out. 

My whole life is affected because i am trying to hide my small flaccid penis because I feel like people can tell through my clothes(i know they cant) 

How do i get over this why i am so anxious?

Were you subject to traumatic abuse or ridicule aimed at you penis?

Normally, that is the cause of such "issues" when you really aren't particularly small.

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@lbakerYes , its a long time ago but there were some comments about me having a boner when doing school Sports for example, because my penis is too small flaccid to hang and sticks straight out or some Stranger on the toilet once said to a friend "look how small he is".

I know its not a lot but i am a very sensitive Person on my inside so this might have given me the push...

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On 11/2/2019 at 7:53 PM, YOTH said:

I don't work because my size effects my confidence and people inevitably pick up on it,. 

Just thought I would correct this typo.  Pretty sure from your other posts that you meant you don't "work OUT" meaning exercise at a gym.

He he, only a few of us can stop working. . .  not me until I retired very modestly with relatives.

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2 hours ago, basic11 said:

@lbakerYes , its a long time ago but there were some comments about me having a boner when doing school Sports for example, because my penis is too small flaccid to hang and sticks straight out or some Stranger on the toilet once said to a friend "look how small he is".

I know its not a lot but i am a very sensitive Person on my inside so this might have given me the push...

In 7th grade (12 years old) I began to develop socially well, in both sports, in class, and even speaking to an assembly and getting popular with the girls. 

Then, it became apparent I wasn't entering puberty while most all the other guys were, very rapidly.  We went to the High School to learn to swim.  We had to shower (gang shower) and line-up nude holding our tank suits in our hands for cleanliness inspection (normal swim suits were not allowed).  I was stunned that the other guys were hairy and had large hanging penises while my flaccid was tiny and retracting.  I was so naive, I was actually relieved when I got my tiny erection so I could show size only to be mercilessly ridiculed by the rougher more primitive guys.  They were very happy to confirm I was still an inferior little boy in spite of excelling in class and sports and were totally merciless.  I was devastated, but did my best to pretend I wasn't affected.

Then, we went into the pool with the girls, also in the wet clinging tank suits.  Most tried to hide in the water, but were forced to line-up for instruction too by the gym teacher.  I remember ogling their fully revealed figures with the rest of the guys.  I still couldn't get rid of my tiny erection and many of the maturing guys had giant ones.  The rougher guys talked about the whole thing for weeks disparaging guys and girls who didn't rate and lionizing those that did.  They were brutal and enjoyed it.  We had to return several times for more swimming lessons.  I did learn to suppress my erection and the rest of the guys seemed to also, but, of course, those who could do so, displayed large flaccids proudly in the clinging suits taking every opportunity to strut around the deck of the pool or stand on the diving board enjoying their genital status.  Quite a few of the girls got excuses not to attend further swimming lessons from their parents.  The gym teachers snidely ridiculed those who opted out.  My puberty didn't start until much later after my 15th birthday and, then, it was very slow.  At least, I was forced to learn to tough such things out.  Only a very few of the racier girls proudly displayed their figures and ogled the boys and wispered to each other obviously.

I don't think things are done that way any longer in schools.  This was back in the 1950s.   Now, I see privacy stalls in the High School locker rooms for men and women--I was a contractor, often accessing High School locker rooms for bidding and maintenance issues.

From what I gathered, the athletic departments back then thought this is how you were supposed to get young people educated and comfortable about physical differences?  Or was it a form a sadism?  Maybe they thought everyone needed to realize and adjust to their position in the psycho/ physical hierarchy?   I'll admit I was forced to "deal with it", but at the expense of near total loss of self-esteem and status that took many years to rebuild, and then, only very ineffectively.  I was taught to believe my negative feelings were my fault by parents and teachers.  Of course, I didn't discuss any of this in detail with anyone at the time, nay, not for many decades!

I think things are far less exaggerated now, but porn serves a similar function, but in solitary or secret rumination.  Porn was illegal and very difficult to access back in the 1950s, esp. for young people.  I think it is important to realize negative feelings about genital status really are imposed by society, and are not the "fault" or "delusion" of the "sps afflicted".  Yeah, I know.  My approach goes against current medical and psychological thinking.  I think current psychological Establishment thinking is a grave error.  Thinking your feelings of inferiority are "your own fault" just makes it worse.  Better to recognize a handicap that is imposed and not your fault and learn to compensate, in my opinion.

 

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5 hours ago, lbaker said:

Just thought I would correct this typo.  Pretty sure from your other posts that you meant you don't "work OUT" meaning exercise at a gym.

He he, only a few of us can stop working. . .  not me until I retired very modestly with relatives.

I meant work as in work at a job. I can work out at home if I want, I just don't because I'm a lazy fuck.

But it effects me when I work because people lose respect for you and then I slowly turn into an ugly human, that's why I left my last job. If I hadn't left that day I'd have done something I regret. Not pie in the sky 'might have done something but not really' I was on the verge of beating 7 shades of shit out of my boss. He should have been looking out for me, but he was a slimy pos who treated people like shit, including me. 

I had only had a few options. Either punch him and get fired and possibly charged with something or report him which would have been even more embarrassing or leave. 

So I left

I'm not a push over, so I can only bend so far before the choices inevitably come up again. I don't want to fight like when I was a teen or in my 20's, so I just left instead and went back to being a stay at home dad. It's a lot easier, but after a while it hollows you out as a human and you just become dad. But I'm starting work again next year despite all this, and as the job will be mainly driving I'm thinking I should be ok, but we'll see. 

 

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2 hours ago, YOTH said:

I meant work as in work at a job. I can work out at home if I want, I just don't because I'm a lazy fuck.

But it effects me when I work because people lose respect for you and then I slowly turn into an ugly human, that's why I left my last job. If I hadn't left that day I'd have done something I regret. Not pie in the sky 'might have done something but not really' I was on the verge of beating 7 shades of shit out of my boss. He should have been looking out for me, but he was a slimy pos who treated people like shit, including me. 

I had only had a few options. Either punch him and get fired and possibly charged with something or report him which would have been even more embarrassing or leave. 

So I left

I'm not a push over, so I can only bend so far before the choices inevitably come up again. I don't want to fight like when I was a teen or in my 20's, so I just left instead and went back to being a stay at home dad. It's a lot easier, but after a while it hollows you out as a human and you just become dad. But I'm starting work again next year despite all this, and as the job will be mainly driving I'm thinking I should be ok, but we'll see. 

 

Ok!  I wondered, but made the wrong guess because you mentioned working out before!

I've never understood people being hair trigger like that, that but I can understand the provocations!.  My defense was always to pretend I wasn't affected.  

Hope you are independently wealthy so you don't have to work!

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3 hours ago, lbaker said:

Ok!  I wondered, but made the wrong guess because you mentioned working out before!

I've never understood people being hair trigger like that, that but I can understand the provocations!.  My defense was always to pretend I wasn't affected.  

Hope you are independently wealthy so you don't have to work!

I'm not independently wealthy, she works and I stay at home. But as I say, next year I'm starting work myself and I honestly can't wait. It's hard to pretend something doesn't affect me, my bulge (or lack there of) is obvious and people notice (usually dudes) and that has a knock on effect.

I still feel robbed of normality, same as Tom, same as everyone else in here. But what else is new? Plenty of people have it worse, I'm not special. And anyway, this place slowly fucks everyone up. Care homes are full of people who had it good, were well hung and didn't have to deal with this nightmare, but we all end up covered in shit with dementia regardless. 

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