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After recently seeing a sex therapist, I've been diagnosed with SPS.  I've had this idea that I didn't measure up since I was 11, but did not know until recently a known psychological illness could be established.  I've never heard of it before, despite being in the medical field.  But, SPS is becoming more and more prevalent in our society due to many cultural and technology evolutions that have been covered in many other threads.  I'm impressed with the many thoughtful and intellectual opinions expressed by those that suffer from SPS here.  So, I don't feel that this diagnosis is a coping mechanism, but it explains and confirms, based on my life's experiences, why I feel the way I do.

Now, the challenge for us is how we develop coping mechanisms to overcome or contently ignore this affliction.  I'm 46.  While it's never too late to change, it's more difficult to rewire your frontal cortex neural pathways that have been firing the same way for 35 years.  It'll take a lot of therapy if  you are committed to overcome this and achieve the goal of a  healthy sexual lifestyle.  Some of us may decide that it may not be worth all this effort and just accept the way you feel and live out your life the status quo.  I honestly don't know where I sit as I'm pulled both ways.  I don't like defeatist attitudes, however, it's still a personal life choice and should not be scorned.

 

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@Toosmallforcomfort I think at this point I've developed a full blown case of dysmorphia. Even when I dress ok and look fine (my issues start and finish with my bulge and appearing small) I'll never be able to walk around confidently without covering up in one form or another. Because of that I'll never be able to work or do things that most people take for granted. I feel that I'll just have to come to terms with never ever feeling comfortable in my own skin. I'd obviously prefer a few extra inches, who wouldn't in here, but I've always managed ok with what I have. But if I indulged my neurosis I'd stand in front of the mirror trying different ways of fixing what I see looking back at me until the cows came home.

I don't hate myself, I don't obsess and pray things will change, I'm way past that. But there's no escaping the feeling that I'm imprisoned in a body that I'll be covering up and disguising my bulge for the rest of my life. It's fucking tragic. My frontal cortex neural pathways seem cemented in place and I'm not sure I have the energy left to chip away and reroute them. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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@Toosmallforcomfort I take it you are not familiar with the difference between sps and sph?

@jojojojo I am very interested in this myself. I don't know whether it is ok to compare it to cases of lifetime imprisonment where you have heard of people "developing" homosexuality. also, I guess, as a coping mechanism. my point is that the human body/mind is able to change/ adapt to circumstances vis-a-vis sexual desire.  Are people "suffering" from sph  , as people with sps are "suffering from sps"?

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I really do not want to invalidate anyone on this site.  I just refuse to let dudes who are giant pricks dictate my self worth.  Sex is so much more that just a dick and a vagina.  Those who reduce it to just friction miss out on so much enjoyment, pleasure and satisfaction.

Let those who are so limited have each other.   There are more than enough real and good men and women in the world so we with small penises can and should enjoy our lives.

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