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Does This Count As SI? How do I prevent hurting myself?

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Hi, I'm new to this site. My name is ian. I am 14.Last night I got very angry at myself for being this way, whatever, it doesn't really matter why. I wanted to hurt myself again, but my mom hid all of the stuff I've used for SI, and I just needed to hurt. The corners of the desk in my bedroom are VERY sharp. I was overcome with my emotions and just pressed my hands and arms into the corners as hard as I could. They're sorta bruised now. Does this count as a relapse? it's not cutting so idk. and what could I do to prevent anything like this happening again?

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Hi, Ian, welcome! :)

I'm sorry you've been struggling with self-harm and emotions / thoughts that trigger it :( . SI is, according to many, (as) an addition, so it's not easy to get out of it. Yet, it's definitely possible and worth the effort. As you came here to seek help and suggestions, it means you're ready to get rid of this maladaptive behaviour, which is great. :)

I would say that what you did is a relapse, because the principle is the same (to cause pain to avoid / stop some emotions etc.), but it's good that the damage wasn't too big this time - I'm grateful to your mom that she removed all the more dangerous objects! 

It seems there's quite a lot of sites where you can find suggestions how to stop SI. I would recommend reading many of them and trying strategies to find what works best for you. For instance:

https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Self-Harming

https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/cutting-relapse.html

https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/self-harm-relapse-speaking-out-about-self-injury

https://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/self-harm/having-a-self-harm-relapse-5684.html

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm

https://www.7cups.com/qa-self-harm-19/how-can-i-stop-myself-from-relapsing-202/

We are here to 'listen' when you want to share more or need to 'vent'.

Take care!

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