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CircusLeavesTown

Can't even avoid it on Facebook right now. The world hates us.

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The truth is, it's a numbers game. It's just a case of whether you can survive the process. For every 8-9 that say it's a deal-breaker, there's one who doesn't care. But 4-5-6-7 brutal rejections can be too much for a guy.

If you really want to play the numbers, then put your size in your profile. That way you can sift through the size queens and women who think talking about size is in poor taste and wait out for the girls who aren't fussed. It'd save a lot of hassle and pain. And I've seen it time and time again with lads in here, they do meet girls who don't care, they're more common than we're led to believe. 

If I was dating again, that's what I'd do, I'd tell them from the beginning so there's no pressure with the reveal. Personally I think the reveal is a major factor of all failures when dating with SPS, it can be unbelievably overwhelming and in some cases an out of body experience, except you're stuck in your body and it's all fucking consuming.

But nothing will ever change unless you take control, which I know is easier said than done, but what's the alternative? Except more of the same....

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12 hours ago, CircusLeavesTown said:

Are you talking about profiles on dating sites?

He probably is, but I'll let him speak for himself.  Sounds like excellent advice to me.

I frankly think us smaller guys have to date people that aren't into the recreational competitive sex derby and don't want to be because they have other values in life and want a partner with whom to share those values.

I don't think there are many people into recreational competitive sex for whom size is totally irrelevant even if they say so.

I know.  I'm saying the actually small aren't suitable for the sex derby unless you have nerves and a mind like a steel trap.

Looking back, though I thought the opposite, I really wanted to be in the derby and couldn't accept I just wasn't suited, not just for penis size reasons, but for temperament reasons as well.

So, in addition to stating size, you might consider stating the kind of value structure you would want in a partner and the kind of life you would like to have.  Woops!  Not a dating or hook-up site!  I guess there are partner or match maker sites as well.  

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It's difficult enough as it is to get women to respond on dating sites unless you're extremely good looking or have a high paying job. Telling them you have a small penis you might as well join a monastery. Besides I think most women would see any mention of penis size big or small as creepy.

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9 hours ago, Shrimp Fried Life said:

It's difficult enough as it is to get women to respond on dating sites unless you're extremely good looking or have a high paying job. Telling them you have a small penis you might as well join a monastery. Besides I think most women would see any mention of penis size big or small as creepy.

although I agree with  YOTH about playing the numbers game(i have done just that), and I only had to suffer one telling me off.

I don't however agree with the telling them first part. why not let them decide...... in turn proving to themselves, and us, whether they are sluts and/or shallow cunts.

 

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On 2/10/2020 at 7:26 AM, uptight outasight said:

I don't think there are many people into recreational competitive sex for whom size is totally irrelevant even if they say so.

 

On 2/11/2020 at 5:10 AM, Shrimp Fried Life said:

It's difficult enough as it is to get women to respond on dating sites unless you're extremely good looking or have a high paying job. Telling them you have a small penis you might as well join a monastery. Besides I think most women would see any mention of penis size big or small as creepy.

Definitely agree

16 hours ago, TheDane said:

I don't however agree with the telling them first part. why not let them decide...... in turn proving to themselves, and us, whether they are sluts and/or shallow cunts.

I'm not even bothered by the lack of sex now, I just need companionship. I think I'll look into asexual dating sites. I don't see that as "settling for less," or anthing like that. in fact, if a woman likes me so much that she wants to be with me without sex, thats pretty magical

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On 2/11/2020 at 5:10 AM, Shrimp Fried Life said:

It's difficult enough as it is to get women to respond on dating sites unless you're extremely good looking or have a high paying job. Telling them you have a small penis you might as well join a monastery. Besides I think most women would see any mention of penis size big or small as creepy.

Again, it's a numbers game. So the women who think it's creepy are part of the numbers you're cutting out. You don't have to say it matter of fact, just make it a joke. Like, 'less than impressive penis, great sense of humour, which helps with the penis'. A subtle nod rather than coming right out with it. My point being, that it's better to play the numbers than have the numbers play you. Most guys in here have only been with one or two partners and they've already had their confidence shattered by the numbers playing them. 

This would be a next stage approach, a solution to the 'more of the same, keep running over the same old ground' mentality. I don't think it'd be easy, but it's easier than dating in the dark and obsessing over the reveal. The truth is, most small guys don't have enough life experience to understand women full stop, so they only know what they read and hear online, and that's a terrible place to judge humans from. I mean most well hung guys don't understand women full stop, but they'll at least get laid before it goes to pot. Truth is that women are just people, and people vary. Some women are obsessed with size, some aren't. So it's either play the numbers and put in the time, or stagnate. 

I was an unsuccessful fuck for a long time before I met my partner. I'd overthink, obsess over everything and nothing, tiring myself out mentally before I even got to the sex. By that point it was already over in my head. But once I was in a real relationship where we practised and experimented together I became a lot more aware of what I was capable of. Sex is like anything in life, it takes practice. Some guys are genetically suited to certain sports, but it doesn't mean it's exclusively their sport. 

If myself now was speaking to myself before I met my girlfriend, I'd never have believed that it was possible to not only find love but to actually be happy. It was a pipe dream until it happened.

It's out there waiting to be found, but if you're not looking for it, it definitely won't come knocking. 

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5 hours ago, YOTH said:

I was an unsuccessful fuck for a long time before I met my partner. I'd overthink, obsess over everything and nothing, tiring myself out mentally before I even got to the sex. By that point it was already over in my head. But once I was in a real relationship where we practised and experimented together I became a lot more aware of what I was capable of. Sex is like anything in life, it takes practice. Some guys are genetically suited to certain sports, but it doesn't mean it's exclusively their sport. 

If myself now was speaking to myself before I met my girlfriend, I'd never have believed that it was possible to not only find love but to actually be happy. It was a pipe dream until it happened.

It's out there waiting to be found, but if you're not looking for it, it definitely won't come knocking. 

Never found a woman I could practice together with.  You are very lucking in that respect.  

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On 2/14/2020 at 8:21 PM, uptight outasight said:

Never found a woman I could practice together with.  You are very lucking in that respect.  

I didn't even think it would happen tbh, it was a surprise when it did. But she's living proof that not every woman is a shallow pos. She didn't even know I had an issue until a few years back, so I guess I hid my emotions better than I thought in my head. But sex over the last year has been great, mainly because I saw it for what it was rather than what it appears to be. I actually think most men live a secret life of performance anxiety and stress. It's not easy for a guy, it's a real work out. 

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14 hours ago, YOTH said:

 I actually think most men live a secret life of performance anxiety and stress. It's not easy for a guy, it's a real work out. 

Yeah, I always had a battle with wanting to know the truth and not wanting to know.

Obviously, you need to know the truth, good or bad for the ego, by honest communication to improve.

Maybe I gave unconscious signals that I didn't want to communicate honestly, so no one did.

Must be different when the sex is great for the woman from the beginning for whatever reason.  I gather sometimes it is.

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