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Helpless_loner

Quarantine and utmost loneliness.

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It's been many months since my last visit, I hope everybody is fine...So, where do I begin???? I moved out from my parents around 8 months ago and I've been living by my own at an apartment that I bought, can't complaint about it. In terms of my job, fortunately I've been busy and there's been plenty stuff to resolve every monday, from home....So Covid19  hasn't not affected me or my loved ones since dad retired last year and mom has always been a housekeeper with  some  extra income out of renting a couple of apartments. Yet,  due to the quarantine, I've never felt THAT alone in my entire life. My friends, who I saw three times a month or so to play soccer and have a couple of beers after that, are either married or living with their partners. My social life was pretty scarce before Covid19, but right now it just doesn't exist AT ALL. It's me a cat I adopted....That's sad.

My depression and SPS issues have kicked in severely the last month or so. I'm 33 years old and I feel that aside from my parents and said friends, nobody cares about me. If it wasn't for them, my social media would be dead. Another situation that contribuited to these low spirits of mine is the fact that I girl I was talking to and  thought was into me because she sent me audio messages about her job and selfies and how much "she wanted to see me after the Quarantine was gone" and such.....All of the sudden stopped initiating the conversations and sending me long texts and audios (being interested in me, or so I believed) and now she will just answer in a rather gentle but cold way with small phrases at most, if not just emojis. No more selfies, no more distant beers through Zoom and such.

 

 She lost interest, that is, if she ever was interested to begin with...But man, that has not helped. How do you cope with a situation like this? Thanks for reading me, at least.

 

 

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Loads of people must be feeling the same way.  I haven't got advice as such, just wanted to leave a supportive message. 

One of the ways to think about it is it hopefully is just a phase of life and you are building on the friendships you do have even if you are not seeing them much right now.

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I don't have an advise either, but I would highly recommend these videos:

perhaps even more:

 This might be interesting in the context of the pandemic:

 

21 hours ago, Helpless_loner said:

if she ever was interested to begin with

I'm sure she was, because why else would she behave the way she did. Why would she pretend? Obviously, something changed in her life, in her perceptions or feelings or... who knows. I would want to understand and so I'd ask her about it (not in a reproaching or "needy" way, but in a curious one; I would even suspect that perhaps something bad happened to her and I would be worried and asking out of that worry more than some self-interest), although there's no guarantee she'll answer openly. But, of course, it's up to you. 

BTW, I've also noticed this when I was searching for the videos above; perhaps it might be interesting for you, too (but I don't imply by that that it's somehow your fault that she changed her behaviour!!!)

 

 

 

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I'm in a similar situation. I have virtually no social life at the best of times but the last few months have been even harder. The few times I actually got to be around people (3 or 4 hours a week usually) have gone and now I'm alone pretty much 24/7. With all that time to think about how much I hate my life it gets pretty depressing.

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On 7/25/2020 at 11:59 PM, Helpless_loner said:

 She lost interest, that is, if she ever was interested to begin with...But man, that has not helped. How do you cope with a situation like this? Thanks for reading me, at least.

Yeah!  The plague of social media.

Most likely some other contact has captured her interest.  Real world interaction is so much more real.  You have a better idea of what is happening in a relationship.

Extreme isolation may do more damage than the virus..  Very unfortunate time to move out from your parents!  Bad luck!

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