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JustTrying

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I hope your daughter is ok and well again quickly,

me, my son and my sister caught it , it wasnt very pleasant but i had a milder strain then them and didnt bother to check with the swine flu people until it was too late to get the tamiflu, so it dragged on for quite a few weeks...it knocks you back a bit! even now 2 mths later the chesty cough hasnt fully gone although im a smoker which probably has something to do with that lol

whats going on in my life? HAH!

Yet another great day, not!!! a woman has assaulted my mum at work :mad: before storming out, my mum is very soft and avoids confrontations she wont even report her to the police she's so soft, she is really shook up, physically she's ok but its made her very nervous

so right now i want to kick the fck out of her im absolutely raging!! in fact im shaking,swearing (always a bad sign!) and ranting away..ive already beat hell out of the walls lol and im frustrated and want to do somthing but my mum doesnt want me to wont tell me nothing about her,her name, where she lives nothing other than she's my age...so im trying to hold myself back from turning up at mums work and respect what she wants...very very difficult :mad:

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  • 2 weeks later...

My daughter and I went to see the new Twilight movie in a theatre full of young girls. No surprise there. She always gets a kick out of me jumping out of my seat during the scary parts. It was a fun afternoon. Nice mother-daughter time. She is very shy, much like I was at the same age. She is also an amazing artist. Not sure where that talent comes from, but it's pretty cool.

The weather here has been pretty amazing, almost spring-like. Can't last much longer...

Edited by IrmaJean
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Morning..... JT is crawling out of the rafters!

Made it through the holiday Sober... it was just me and my husband. Gave the "twins" ( the Puppies) their first tast of turkey.

IRMA... I can relate sorta ... not the anniversary of their deaths, but I lost both my birth mother and my adopted mother last year. As I cooked I thought about all the holidays we use to have together growing up. There are so many times I want to call Momma! But Momma is not there anymore... Only my Birth father is still alive and we communicate through mail.... at least we communicate now.... for years he was too busy.

Have been in contact with 3 of my sisters this holiday... so that was good.

Other than that not much happening here.... I got my website up and running... Don't have any sales yet... but hey it kept me busy for a while and gives me something to do.... Cost about $200.00 to get it all set up and only $4.95 a month.... so we can call it entertainment.

Missed another therapy session and am about out of meds... I have got to do something.... hubs won't be able to take me until the 2nd Monday of Dec. Was suppose to have blood tests done for the Litium..... but I don't have the money or a ride... I think the dose is fine. The manic me does not come out too much, I actually feel pretty balanced.... almost "normal".

Well you all have a great day!

JT

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  • 2 weeks later...

A snow day for my kids today and my car is still in the shop. I thought I'd show off some of my daughter's drawings. The first two were done with a mouse and the paint application on the computer. The last two were hand drawn with a charcoal pencil. I managed to stop myself at four, lol.

WarriorsHalloween.png

AshfurSceneRedraw.png

Emilydrawings003.jpg

004.jpg

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Well in my world today, Ive had the bestest day like ~ ever ...... Ok maybe a slight (big) exaggeration, but it has been good (for me) and Im kinda happy.

I had 5 whole hours of sleep last night, totally undisturbed, and like no dreams or anything, and well that was enough to kick start my day. :P

I managed to stay out of bed and sit by the window for a couple of hours today. Finished writing my babies nativity book, still got a bit of painting left to do, but Im kinda proud of myself for concentrating as long as I did. :P

Im not hyper or lowper for once, and havnt needed any extra meds, so Im really in a natural good mood, and that hasnt happened in such a long while.:eek:

Ive found a bit of peace today ~ and Im so grateful ~ tired but seriously grateful :)

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Hi all..well, I just got back from 50 minutes of therapy in which we discussed my erotic transference the whole time. Of course this was necessary, and he really is very understanding and supportive, but I am worn out (understatement), esp since I slept like 3 hours last night. But all I want to do is go back to therapy??? :)

Anyway, I would go do something outside but it is cold and I am considering hibernating until Spring.

I am currently grateful for my two cats because they are sweet and warm and nonjudgemental and they can't talk. I am so tired of hearing people talk and not SAY anything (this happens all day at work).

I guess I should eat since I skipped lunch...

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For the second time in 6 months I found out that someone I talk to on the World Wide Web lives less than 20 minutes away. I wouldn't think much of it, but I live in cow country with a population of only a few thousand. :eek: How odd, but cool. Another lunch buddy! :D

My 7 year old daughter is sick again. :) Time to go be a mom.

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Hello!

I woke up today from a dream that looked like a movie. I was so anxious, in my dream Ijust saw we were eating in a reastaurant by the sea and 3 big airplanes appeared where you could see thir bottom. One of them was maybe fast because flames got out from the back side. Then they picked all men to fight-including my dad because there was war. At the moment I was with an old friend and we both looked at the sea. Some meters away I could see some old type ships coming to our island and I thought "they will have picked my brother as well. Then I was wondering with which friend of mine to go to be safe. I had tottally forgotten my mom and bf in the dream! Anyway, I woke up and asked my bf to hug me and he did. He also understood I had a bad dream-I don't know how..

So we woke up, he read and I got in here and then proposed him to go and try to fly the airplane I bought him for our 1st year anniversary. That was a bad idea as he broke it and now he is so sad...

Right now I am cooking and so I have to leave you. We bought the movie "The nightmare before christmass" and going to wach while eating.

See you soon!

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  • 4 weeks later...

hmm.. my day yesterday. I got up around 4pm, mhm its bad. I walked over to my cousins, hung out with him all day smoking cigarettes and watchin tv/playin video games. After that I walked to my brothers place to smoke more cigarettes and play more video games. I stayed there until around 2am, then I walked home, and stayed up until 5am until I fall asleep. The next day, rinse, repeat...

Today was a little better. I applied to a nursing home, where they have an extra 20 hours available at a cook position. Im going to call tomorrow early around 10am to see if they got a chance to look it over. The problem is, its 3;20am right now and Ill probably oversleep. Insomniac uhg

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  • 4 weeks later...

My world just now….

I had bad toothache and was on antibiotics. It’s just starting to clear up. I haven’t ate anything decent for over a week. I’m dreaming about steak!! The snow finally cleared and I rediscovered green grass!! I haven’t been out much since Christmas but I’m building up to a shopping trip this weekend. And I have been asked over for dinner at my daughter’s house on Saturday evening. So I’m doing okay. How are you doing?

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I've been sick with the flu , and just now getting over it, left with a bad cold and cough though .

I did go see the pdoc yesterday. He changed my meds around , but spent a lot of time with me . An appointment usually lasts 15min. with him, because he just does meds. So I was surprised I was in there for a Hr.

I saw the therapist afterwards, but he just talked , and i do not even remember what it was about.

My son has been getting over being sick too, so he has been staying home from school. Which is fine with me, I do not want to be alone. I had Physical therapy today, my first appoinment, but had to reschedule, because my brother was not going to take me. I did not want to drive all that way by myself.

Nothing exciting happening here in my world , just the bad flu, which has made me extra tired.

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I've been on training this week. Two week course in Labour Relations:( Actually it's not that bad, I'm learning a lot. My back is killing me though because of the chairs. I had a serious back operation many years ago and it does not usually bother me anymore, but lately it's not good .... I've also been feeling insecure, as a woman. The class included about 10 young, very pretty women, all dolled up. The types you see at the gym a lot... It is making me feel very over the hill. Growing old as a woman is not easy :-( I am now single again and I get the distinct impression that is the way it's going to stay. I did not think my life would be like this....

Anyway, I'm feeling anxious and my positive self-esteem resolve is quickly going out the window. I find that my negative tapes are starting to play again and I'm feeling down about myself.... damn bad habits :mad:

Edited by Symora
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  • 2 weeks later...

I feel like i am joining the forum again, it's been a while since i popped in to see you. I went into a rapid/ mixed state cycle nightmare, i have been for about 2 1/2 months now.

Hey on an up note i seem to be slowing a little. I took my eldest son to see the new Percy Jackson film yesterday , i actually made it without having an anxiety attack.;)

I haven't been going out much again recently, i self isolate at times but this is something i am going to work on over the next week! Getting out more again is going to be good.( I hope!)

Anyway, i feel like i am intruding. It's been a while, you wont remember me.

Take care, hope you are all doing ok.

Tracey

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