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MrsSmall

wife of husband with small penis

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My husband and I have been married for over 25 years, I am so glad that we found this forum. We both have felt so alone, with this secret problem. And now I can finally talk with people that have the same problem. Honestly I didn't know what it was called. The reason why we found it today was because I want help, first I went to penis envy and that was for women. And then I went to small man syndrome and that had nothing to do with the penis. Finally my husband typed in small penis syndrome. I read that letter that lead us to here. I only read a few notes, I was wondering if there were any women out there that sharing this problem with there spouses. In the beginning of our marriage, I really thought that my husband was being silly, yes his penis is small but I had seen smaller and had been with men that were smaller. Then the questions started. All about my past sexual relationships, the size of the penis, the length, fatness, the size when they were soft. The size of the testicles. At first I tried to help him and answer the best I could then, it got worse. The questions really disturbed me. I wondered if he was gay. I believed that he wasn't and I still do not think he is gay. But I was really worried. Then my husband would get really depressed. I didn't understand, I thought he is just kinky, after five years of our marriage I became a Christian, which made it more complicated. Because I felt so guilty for talking about other men in my life, or when my husband saw other men in the public bathroom. Even a few times he saw pre teens or early teens that were bigger then him. So I told him no more. And it got worse, he would go for a whole week with out talking to me. I felt so alone. I talked to my pastor, he to thought that I should not talk about this that if my husband wanted to leave me it was Biblically okay. Then I made the mistake of telling my husband that I told my Pastor, then he didn't want to go to church anymore, I didn't blame him, he felt like the pastor probably told other people and now every body knows. The isolation is so hard. I wish years ago I could have found this web site. Well we went to a women counselor. She felt that she couldn't help us. She felt that I had boundries issues, and that I had to deal with that. But she couldn't help my husband. Then years later because of problems with our marriage, my husband paid for a professional, she told him to get over it. I'm not kidding. Get over it. Wow that was a lot of help. So then I found a male therapist that has help male prisoners, he was on tv or something, he wanted to hypnotise him. We both didn't want that. Also my husband started using pumps, at first they were junk, then he bought more expensive ones. This truely changed his size temporary. A half inch in length and one and a half in girth. And thats not his best. Some times he gets bigger then that. I felt guilt from this because, I did find wonderful pleasure from the change in his size. Which I want to say that my husbands small penis has made him the best lover I've ever been with, he tries so hard to make up for his smallness. He was the first person I ever had an orgasim with and that was before the pump, but when I tell him that it still doesn;t help his emotional pain. So then my husband had surgery, we only had enough money for lengthenig. We couldn't afford to have fat added and the doctor said that would diminish eventually anyhow. That added about a quarter of an inch, I truely feel a difference, but you really can't see it. I have more to say but I've ran out of space. I will write more later, thanks for listening and any advice.

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Hi Mrs Small, So after 25yrs you know what it is to live with a man damaged by having a small penis. I told one girl I was in a relationship with about my feelings towards my penis, and at first she was very understanding, but like your husbanb, the more I asked the more I wanted to know, including the same kind to details. Eventually this led to her breaking up with me.

I think it is so hard for us men to talk about this issue with anyone, that when after years of self hate, we do find a woman who will indulge us, we just go on and on about it. There really is nothing you can say that will ever make him feel better. If you have admitted to him that you prefer his pumped size, you have made a major mistake. Admitting to him you also told your priest was also a major kick to him, as now in his mind, he probably thinks you are some big dick loving nympho with a load mouth. You're not by the way (But thats how twisted our thinking is) Your husband has some 30-40 years of self hate to try and get over. Perhaps reading us here might help him, but be prepared for many more difficult conversations with him. We are a very hard bunch to correct.

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I'm not denying that my husbands quarter of inch brought more pleasure, it would be great if he could add an inch or two, but he can't . I'm am so glad that he has been able to use the pump, stretcher and levetra to increase his size. Even using the pump in the bath tub gave him even better results. He has had surgery on his back several times and so have I we are so glad that we can still have sex, it has become increasingly difficult because of pain and our age. I haven't read your story yet, I hope you have someone to love and except you. Time goes by so fast, and some day we will all be to old to enjoy sex. Thankyou for writing me.

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does it work(by work i mean as opposed to using drugs and still nothing, which is normal for men in the later years not that im there yet) cuz i mean if it works, its better than havin a 10foot dick that dont work lol u know what i mean...but yea if you(anyone who reads this) have a penis thats large or small that dont work even with viagra ect. then let me know and i'll try help.

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Interesting read a man with a small or undeveloped penis... I cant be long here as i have things to do... I would love to share my side of things. Married 29 years and now divorced. I have a tiny penis but not a Micro penis. I am not going to go into stats about average penis sizes... I am 2.5 inch flaccid and 3.3 inch erect... I am uncut for have a fair pig of foreskin. My testicels are normal but very close to my body... It does look boyish so i am told...

I love every part of my penis and my body... I have never been any different about it... so when i read the comments here and on other sites i do wonder... men with large penises say thay are small... lol... so ask what you like and i am here to help...I dont know if pics are allowed but i won't put one up unless asked...  

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Its all about the image society , media, hollywood  etc. sell to us everyday and its been going on our whole lives. Also who really gives a shit what women think, if you come across one who likes you but decides a small penis is a issue then she will pick at all other kinds of things as the relationship goes forward and she will become a pain in the ass. So let those ones go, trust me it wont be a big deal at all. You will find one who has alot more to think about in life then penis size...so should you.  Do you think a homeless guy with a big penis cares at all ..Life has to be really good if you concern yourself with that. 

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MrsSmall, kudos to you for sticking with your husband.  I'm sure size anxiety made your relationship a lot more complicated.

If it truly is small, then it isn't just "syndrome", in my opinion.  It's real small penis issues.  

 

I've used a pump too, a good quality one.  That increase in fatness that quick is from lymphatic fluid buildup.

 

A beginner pumping routine gave me slightly harder erections, but I never stuck with it longer than 2 months.

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I found myself in an open relationship with a hot woman. She would get wet in a couple of minutes, but my penis was still semi soft and looked small. She had sex with 3 other guys in the first 9 months. She would tell me about their length and girth. Dirty talk was a part of our sexuality together. Then I found magic med (C*alis). I took a 10 mg pill and within 2 hours I was rock hard. And my length and girth was radically improved (like penis is stretching out of its skin). We’ve now had 4 exclusive years together. And even when flaccid my penis is appreciably bigger.

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On 12/9/2018 at 2:00 AM, ARhoads said:

I found myself in an open relationship with a hot woman. She would get wet in a couple of minutes, but my penis was still semi soft and looked small. She had sex with 3 other guys in the first 9 months. She would tell me about their length and girth. Dirty talk was a part of our sexuality together. Then I found magic med (C*alis). I took a 10 mg pill and within 2 hours I was rock hard. And my length and girth was radically improved (like penis is stretching out of its skin). We’ve now had 4 exclusive years together. And even when flaccid my penis is appreciably bigger.

Hmmmm?  I got no bigger, but my erection was already hard.

Edited by malign
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this question is a bit sensitive so please take care answering it.

it's particularly for the female sex but guys can chime in with their thoughts.

i have a bit of a problem with girth. im only 4 inches or slightly more than that. the length is about 6 inch maybe a bit more if you consider bone pressed erect length but let's not get lost in technicalities.

how worried shouldi be. looking at my dick from the front gives an unfair impression because the width is like 1.5 inch or above but the direction perpendicular to the width and the length is not great and i never look at it from that angle because i get too worried.

thanks for reading. and i'll see more of you thoughtful people in the forums.

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Hello, @the_anonymous_one, welcome!

I'm female and from my perspective, you don't have any reason to be worried. There, unfortunately, are some women (I know about their existence only from the posts in this SPS forum!) who care about size and girth in men, as well as men who ridicule other men just based n their "member", so yes, some people can perhaps offend you (although I don't have any idea if the numbers you mentioned are "too low" for them or not), but I'd say the most important for you is not to develop an anxiety around this issue; not to develop the SPS - a syndrome that makes suffer even those who are happily married to a woman who likes them as they are. Don't let your current little insecurities increase and take control over you and your dating etc. Don't focus on your anatomy, try to focus on your relationships.

Good luck!

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I was in a 2 month long relationship with a woman that was definitely attracted to me and she basically "picked me up".

Sex was Ok for a while but I started to see that she was becoming indifferent and non-attentive in all aspects of our relationship, including sex.

I had to ask her one day in bed what was her problem.   She hesitated a bit and then started talkin about how she loved big burley guys, taller and heavy weight was excellent for her.

I am over 6' but lean and muscular.   

We continued talking. She became more agitated and almost angry.

I asked nicely what was the problem.   She finally said "You just don't get what I am trying to say nicer to you....I need a big penised man. I didn't say a word.  She then let me have all her anger saying how she was never with my penis during intercourse and that basically I was stupid not to have realize this earlier and broken up with her. 

Unreal.  She was saying that it was MY FAULT for cause her this terribly uncomfortable position for her to break-up with me.  She said it was obviously that she was just being nice to me and how could I let it go on.  She both was angry and cried.

She left and she won't even answer a txt message.

WTF?

 

 

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On 6/6/2019 at 11:45 AM, LouisZ said:

I was in a 2 month long relationship with a woman that was definitely attracted to me and she basically "picked me up".

Sex was Ok for a while but I started to see that she was becoming indifferent and non-attentive in all aspects of our relationship, including sex.

I had to ask her one day in bed what was her problem.   She hesitated a bit and then started talkin about how she loved big burley guys, taller and heavy weight was excellent for her.

I am over 6' but lean and muscular.   

We continued talking. She became more agitated and almost angry.

I asked nicely what was the problem.   She finally said "You just don't get what I am trying to say nicer to you....I need a big penised man. I didn't say a word.  She then let me have all her anger saying how she was never with my penis during intercourse and that basically I was stupid not to have realize this earlier and broken up with her. 

Unreal.  She was saying that it was MY FAULT for cause her this terribly uncomfortable position for her to break-up with me.  She said it was obviously that she was just being nice to me and how could I let it go on.  She both was angry and cried.

She left and she won't even answer a txt message.

WTF?

It is my experience that many sexually active women are used to men on the large side, because those are the men they run into since larger guys are more confident and, therefore, more prevalent in the sexually active circles.  Thus, many women don't realize the negatives of smaller penises.  

I found many women very attracted to me, but soon in the relationship starting to suggest things I couldn't do with a 4.5 penis.  Then, they would drift away.  You finally had an amazingly honest exchange.  Maybe you have already mentioned it, but what size are you that elicited such a reaction?

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On 10/28/2009 at 12:59 AM, Recluse said:

Is your husband below average or is he average with a troubled mind?

I notice this question was never answered.

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On 9/4/2017 at 5:42 PM, neil said:

Interesting read a man with a small or undeveloped penis... I cant be long here as i have things to do... I would love to share my side of things. Married 29 years and now divorced. I have a tiny penis but not a Micro penis. I am not going to go into stats about average penis sizes... I am 2.5 inch flaccid and 3.3 inch erect... I am uncut for have a fair pig of foreskin. My testicels are normal but very close to my body... It does look boyish so i am told...

I love every part of my penis and my body... I have never been any different about it... so when i read the comments here and on other sites i do wonder... men with large penises say thay are small... lol... so ask what you like and i am here to help...I dont know if pics are allowed but i won't put one up unless asked...  

I would be very interested to hear more from you regarding how you coped.  I am larger at 4.5, but never really learned to cope.  I don't think pictures are allowed here except maybe in private messages.  Feel free.

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