Anger

[Donna]

Sometimes i get so angry over what probably seems to be something and nothing to most people and i dont know if this is to do with the BPD?

For example yesterday there was an advert for a newly released cd which is being done in the name of supporting soldiers who are away right now.

I was so p!ssed off with it, the songs might bring comfort to familys of the soldiers and i hope they do, but to advertise it in a sentimental way as though they are doing these familys a favour really makes my blood boil :mad: because in reality it's done for money and nothing more, and surprise surprise christmas is coming up, what a good time of year for extra sales! how sentimental is that!

They could at least be honest and not wrap it up like a bloody chocolate box :mad:

I got so mad that i was ranting away to myself about it and hitting walls!

Im not sure if my anger is inappropriate or just a reaction against all that is wrong with this world :confused:

Bit of a pointless post really, im just curious if other people can get so wound up over such things.

[Guest GingerSnap]

Donna: You have to find a way to react with anger and not let it cause you such harm. Yeah, I can say this because you don't know me. Yes, that stuff ticks me off too, anything for a buck these days and few people with a conscious. I made the mistake of getting involved with local politics - do not ever do that! I didn't think I would survive that and still can't leave the issues alone when they come blaring in my face. I do the most I can do in a constructive way. I call people and email people and sometimes meet with them in person. If someone has a website, like a company, I feel out the "contact" form. I know it won't make that much difference but that is about all I can do. My son contacted me from Afghanistan because he was upset about something the UN was doing - OK, I'm just mom. I explain that I can write the congress people and maybe Clinton and tell them about the problem and ask for help and he says "What good will that do?" I said, "Well, that is really all I can do and I warned you that once you grew up, there would be things I couldn't fix." And, he said "OK then, you have 24 hours to come up with a solution for what should be done here, is that enough time?" So, now he had his since of humor back, thank God! He has a lot of responsibility as an officer in charge of security in one of the difficult areas. I had heard that a several of those "pink ribbon" promotions were set up and not even benefiting cancer research which is who coined the whole "pink" thing. I have never seen greed and selfishness as bad as it is right now and expect it will only get worse. Hey, but thanks for caring about the soldiers but don't hurt yourself doing it. I just tend to deal with things I can't really do anything about by remembering that they reap what they sow and you don't even have to believe in God to see that actually happen - I have seen it so many times and you know what they say about payback - it's hell! I just smile to myself and think "It's about time." Cathy

[mscat]

Hi Donna,

Without a doubt , anger is very much a part of bpd. I also have bpd and struggle with the same issues . However, I internalize my anger . I try not to let things get to me unless I can't hold back , in which I will open my big mouth and let someone have it, either in telling someone off , threating her , it is usally a she , scaring her , inimatidating her , and stuff. I have done that before, than laughing about it later. I think it is funny as hell. For example, not too long ago, I was backing up to go in to pump gas in my car, well someone with a smaller car cuts me off , OH nO Fuc**** way is that happening . I told her , and she and I exchange words , she even pulls out of the way and leaves the gas station. I threaten to kick her ass. LOL . She pissed me off real good, her passenger was laughing, but, I guess I scared the driver. I did not feel bad at all . I was there first. And I was not having it.

Anger , YES, If I get angery enough I will express it verbally outwards onto others IF it is necessary, otherwise I keep it on the downlow, but than it only builds up inside , where it continues to want to come out , which is worse, because I also self harm , later .

Anther aspect of being Bpd . It is a horrible disorder . I can idenify with what you are feeling though. I have to be very careful though, i have a special needs son, and he pushes my buttons nearly everyday. I have to be patient. It would be very easy to become angery. However, I just cannot. Because If I did, it would send him into a tantrum too.

that is why I have to control myself. That is why I have to internaalize my anger much of the time, which is worse , I think than being allowed to express it . Because once it builds up , it becomes worse, like a emotional bomb ready to explode at any moment .

[Guest GingerSnap]

Donna & mscat: I really don't think that your anger is a part of any disorder unless most of the population have it. It really is bad out there. Yeah, I tell them what I think too. I took the Anger Management test on the website and it said I knew how to handle my anger - I answered basically that I did not internalize it, took it out on the person that deserved it and got it over with and never regretted anything that I said and, well, I tell it like I see it. Like mscat though, my son with Down syndrome feeds from my mood and I have sort of learned to control and let go (letting go is important to learn) of the frustration I have toward him which isn't easy because he fights everything, grunts about everything - he is looking for supper, supper is ready so he acts like I put it on the table to just be an inconvenience to him, or say "Let's go to Dairy Queen" and he grunts about that because it isn't in his schedule even though this is maybe a twice a year treat! My husband is passive-aggressive so he showed he needed anger management skills. Shoot I am not internalizing it and sure don't feel like you have a disorder when you express yourself but don't get yourself into trouble. And, I will even admit that sometimes it cracks me up when I scarce someone that doesn't have manners or decency but, hey, maybe that will help teach them to do the right thing which they should have learned in the first place. The world is just that bad now, everyone I talk too has a story every time I visit with them about how bad people have become, so thoughtless, etc. You do have to be careful since there are a lot of violent people and they carry weapons, etc. I want to get one of those big guardian type dogs - you know just in case. My best, Cathy

[Donna]

maybe somebody can tell me how to deal with that anger right now because i have just been insulted by the psych/nurse in a letter calling me fat,i am going to kick his fcking head in on monday when that clinic opens and stick a knife to his throat scare the crap out of him see how he likes it..i dont give a shit how he feels he obviously doesnt care who HE hurts.

[Guest GingerSnap]

Donna: I hope you are calming down by the time you read this. You know that nurse is totally wrong - what a sad and pathetic person he must be and if I were the leader of the world, I would give him an "exit" pass straight to hell for being that way. Don't waste your energy on him because he is most likely beyond help. Is there anyone that you can address this issue to or would that make matters worse for you - someone like a director or something? I found this article on this website and thought you might like to read through it: http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=5802 and I can imagine how angry you are but please for your own health just understand that the world is full of losers like him, people without your compassion for others as has been illustrated on the forum here and be darn glad that you would never have done such a thing. In your place I would be steaming, probably take a long walk, write a letter, make a call and stomp around about it. As I said, hope things are a little better when you read this - you are a better person than he is - stay that way and don't let these people poison your existence. Cathy

Edited November 14, 2009 by GingerSnap
Oops, called "he" a "she" - must have mentally cut something off, he deserved it!

[Donna]

Thankyou Cathy, im still angry and upset but i know you're right it's not worth stooping to that level.

I do need to find a way of dealing with anger differently, i read that article thankyou and was a bit surprised by some of what it said especially the part about how it can affect your health..it did make a lot of sense.

Saying that im glad that i had my children with me and couldnt get to the clinic yesterday because i do have a tendency to act on impulse especially when im angry and my impulse was very very strong yesterday (it was probably very noticable with all the ranting and swearing i did around here ) and i could have ended up in a lot of trouble.

Like you mscat if i dont express it i bottle it up and it builds and builds until i explode, then i end up in some very difficult situations.

i really do love your editing comments Cathy,especially the one on that post, it gave me a giggle when i read it, and cheered me up a bit!

Edited November 15, 2009 by Donna

[lacyjay87]

its in my blog what i was so mad about.....

it jus thits me all the sudden an di freakin flip

like black ou tor something...i duno..but sometimes it scares me how mad i ge tover things.:eek:

[Donna]

I dont get scared about being angry, maybe i should i dont know, though i dont feel that i should..the only thing i dont like is that i swear a lot when im angry which doesnt sound too articulate and is a sign of poor intelligence, its also a lack of self expression but im the first to admit im not very good at expressing feelings so that doesnt worry me.

Todays another angry day :mad:

Somebody hit my mum at her work :mad: my mum is very soft and avoids confrontations and she's 58 yrs old, the woman who hit her was 40!

i'll be honest i want to kick the fck out of her who the hell does she think she is! im fuming and have already beaten the crap out of the walls and given myself a lump from nutting them, earlier i was shaking,swearing and ranting away which is never a good sign but ive calmed down a bit, i wanted to go meet her from work (mum) but she wouldnt let me because she was worried id ''do something stupid'' (my mums favourite words lol) she's right i probably would have done..and if im honest still would if i had the chance.. NOBODY is allowed to hurt my mum..unfortunately i dont know how to get to this woman and of course my mum wont tell me and the woman quit her job so she wont be there! But there is a bit of an added problem, the woman is related to the manager (sister-in-law) and twists him round her little finger and if she decides she wants to come back the chances are he will let her, it's a small place and my mum works in the same office as her (just the two of them)..in fact my mums her supervisor! so it would make it very uncomfortable and my mum is a worrier and gets very nervous easily.

Ive kept telling myself dont be selfish that i have to respect what my mum wants but i have to be honest and say that is very very difficult and i know for a fact that if ever i should be lucky enough to see that btch i would really struggle.

whether thats a bpd, an anger thing or just human nature i dont know and tbh i dont care, i just know that i am very very ANGRY :mad: and really dont give a toss about anger management!

Edited November 18, 2009 by Donna

[lacyjay87]

I dont get scared about being angry, maybe i should i dont know, though i dont feel that i should..the only thing i dont like is that i swear a lot when im angry which doesnt sound too articulate and is a sign of poor intelligence, its also a lack of self expression but im the first to admit im not very good at expressing feelings so that doesnt worry me.

Todays another angry day :mad:

Somebody hit my mum at her work :mad: my mum is very soft and avoids confrontations and she's 58 yrs old, the woman who hit her was 40!

i'll be honest i want to kick the fck out of her who the hell does she think she is! im fuming and have already beaten the crap out of the walls and given myself a lump from nutting them, earlier i was shaking,swearing and ranting away which is never a good sign but ive calmed down a bit, i wanted to go meet her from work (mum) but she wouldnt let me because she was worried id ''do something stupid'' (my mums favourite words lol) she's right i probably would have done..and if im honest still would if i had the chance.. NOBODY is allowed to hurt my mum..unfortunately i dont know how to get to this woman and of course my mum wont tell me and the woman quit her job so she wont be there! But there is a bit of an added problem, the woman is related to the manager (sister-in-law) and twists him round her little finger and if she decides she wants to come back the chances are he will let her, it's a small place and my mum works in the same office as her (just the two of them)..in fact my mums her supervisor! so it would make it very uncomfortable and my mum is a worrier and gets very nervous easily.

Ive kept telling myself dont be selfish that i have to respect what my mum wants but i have to be honest and say that is very very difficult and i know for a fact that if ever i should be lucky enough to see that btch i would really struggle.

whether thats a bpd, an anger thing or just human nature i dont know and tbh i dont care, i just know that i am very very ANGRY :mad: and really dont give a toss about anger management!

No one should ever mes swith somones mom i mean thats just asking for some one to kill you...i cant believe she hit your mom is she ok? why did she hit her?

[Donna]

She's ok physically thankyou but she's very shaken up and nervous because she's just not that kind of a person.

It's a bit unclear really,basically she had skived off work to go to a show but she got caught out and was a bit pssed off cos some of the guys were teasing her, my mum didnt even know much about it but this woman (probably because she works in the same office as my mum) suddenly blew up and blamed my mum for 'telling tales' effing and blinding,bringing up things that have never actually happened, my mum really doesnt like confrontation and said im sorry i dont know what you're talking about (which she didnt) lets just calm down and get back to work, the woman grabbed my mum by her throat and smacked her in the face then walked out.

My mum is really upset and a bit confused by it all, it's like being in the school playground! she lives a bit of a naive sheltered life and just isnt used to that kind of thing, nobody expects to be assaulted at work anyway.

[Guest GingerSnap]

Donna: I'm sorry that happened to your mom. Anymore, you can expect to be assaulted about anywhere here. I am glad your mom is OK and that you were controlled enough not to get yourself in trouble. The world is just really getting so bad and it is constantly something and I work overtime to keep my anger to a dull roar but sometimes...It is just life today but don't get yourself in trouble please because that will distress your mom too and we would miss your wisdom if you weren't here with us. I told one of the people that work with my son that I want to blow him up like they do in the cartoons! It sounded bad but he is causing trouble at home and at the day center and makes life so hard for anyone that has to deal with him but some how I survive it - people think I am so patient but they don't know about the "cartoon" in my head! He is the most difficult person I have ever known in my entire life.