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scared

am I a pedophile?

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:confused::confused:

Okkkaaay.... Right. Scared. There is nothing wrong with you stop thinking there is. Do you go around raping women because you have urges to? umm... no? well then you know you have the ability to control your urges so just chill. There is too much stigma behind 'pedophillia' and you are scared to be seen as 'subhuman' in the eyes of others. Remember not to long ago homosexuality was considered a mental disorder. It was taboo and wrong. People just couldn't understand it and people would have looked for 'treatment'. Look, I had much more pronounced 'fantasies' about 'children' than you and I am not a pedophile. The definition itself is totally illogical. An 18-year old finding a 13 year old attractive/sexually attractive is technically not pedophilia. But one or two or three years later!!! Oh boy you have big psychological problems and need help? No, no, no, no, no, nooooo. I think the world is still very behind in the times when it comes to sexual thoughts for 'children'. Now I'm not advocating actually allowing these things to go on, that's a totally different debate. I'm saying that it's not a mental disorder if a 21 year old thinks a 15 year old is attractive and has 'fantasies' about sexual encounters with them. That is, well quite frankly, ridiculous. It's ingrained into our minds to seek our fit young mates. A 15 year olds body can be very sexually attractive. But I'm 18 so that's still not pedophillia. I'm sure when I'm 30 I'll still think 15 year olds can be sexy. Even as young as 12,13,14. When I was 17 I 'made out' with a girl who was 14, she liked it, so did I, she knew what she was doing and we trusted each other so... yeh... when I'm 19 or 20 what's the real difference other than time I've spent on earth? It's just the law. And laws can be stupid.:rolleyes:.. haha well I still find some 14 year olds sexually attractive, I guess i need to be drugged up on pills and go to a shrink... oh wait no I don't. My mistake. ;)

Edited by Aeryion

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My name is... well it's not that important I suppose.

I understand your thoughts, feelings, fears, and possible phobia.

I'm not too sure what I should and shouldn't say as this is a public web forum.

Scared, I just want to ask you something. Are you currently in a relationship with someone (man or woman doesn't matter)?

From my personal experiences the biggest thing you can have in your life to deal with this issue is a person there to talk to you every day. Pick one person, someone your own age or possibly a few years older. You could even have a formal contract with them of a privacy agreement that cannot be broken unless you actually commit or intend to commit a crime.

Get someone to talk to about this stuff. Someone you can call on day or night when/if you have these thoughts. A person whom you feel is a friend, not a paid friend (i.e. psychiatrist). I'm not advocating that you abandon your professional help, but as far as dealing with the day to day of things that go on inside your head you have to get someone there for you and support you when you are feeling the most vulnerable.

The advice, in a sense came from my lawyer but in a different way. He told me to always make sure, just to avoid any kind of situation that might be misinterperated etc. to have someone there to be a witness for me.

Pedophilia, the mental disease, is best treated by being able to have someone there that you can talk to about it. Find that person bro, do what you need to do to hold yourself accountable, think of it like being in a depressive state and needing someone there to make sure you don't jump off a bridge. Kinda the same concept and have that person there for you till you feel better. It takes time to get stronger, to master your own mind.

I battle several mental illnesses PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and a form of long-term (moderate) depression just to name two of them.

I don't take pills for my illness, I don't receive government aid for these debilitating 'diseases'. I take my time to try and master these illnesses and the best advice is to just have someone there to keep you accountable while you deal with this illness.

God bless and good luck.

I apologize for the post being so long.

Sincerely,

ben

Edited by benbillybobjoe

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Hi Ben and Scared

Scared, no one said you was a Pedophile. I think you did a lot of that yourself! You haven't done anything to any children have you? No! So your not a Pedophile!

I think you've worried that much on this subject, that you've convinced yourself that you are a Pedophile. Listen, it takes a lot to do what you've done. Meaning that you've admitted that you've got feelings for children. That's as far as it's goes, and I think that's good! Wouldn't want you near any of my kid's though! HA! Only kidding! But you've done the hardest thing now. You've admitted something?

The ball's in your court now? Whether you do anything about this, Is entirely up to you! You've got to push these bad thought's to the back of your head Scared! THINK! AND THINK GOOD! Are you sure your not getting mixed up with love and feelings. I mean, love, I love everybody. Feeling, well I've only got feelings for them that are close to me. But there's also different kinds of feelings?

I still say the same. I really think that someone who is in the adult world, has really hurt you somewhere along the line, and this is why you have moved your attention to children. You might have feelings for children, but that's a different sort of feelings. Like I mentioned previously. I truly think your getting mixed up with these feelings.

Your fantasizing about children because you know it's a no no! I think it's more of a Psychological problem that you're experiencing? It happens to most of us. For eg: If we are giving up smoking, we know that we cannot have a cigarette. But because we know that we cannot have a cigarette, the more we want one! Do you know what I mean?

Paula

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I have removed my posts in this thread because there are dangerous psychologically damaging things in here and nothing should be read by anybody who isn't a trained mental health professional. Sorry to all this has affected.

Edited by scared

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You might feel that you've got a sexual preference towards children, but at the moment, that is all it is!

Scared, if your that worried and upset, about your sexual preference, then do something about it!

You came on this site to express your feeling's and your thought's on Pedophillia. You've done that, and there's plenty of us that have given our opinion and advice on this subject! The ball's in your court now! It's no good by keep saying what if! Get it sorted!

What are you waiting for? Till you actually do, do something to a child! It will be to late then! You know the script! Seek medical advice! Only you know what your capable of. Were not mind readers!

I'm sorry if this may seem a bit harsh, but you know my views on Pedophillia! If your saying that you think that your capable, of sexually abusing a child, then get intouch with the appropriet Doctor who can help you sort these issues out. I'm sorry Scared, but you've come on this site and explained the situation. We've listened and given our advice/opinion/support. That's it. you've come to the end of the road! NOW! It's up to you to do the rest! we can't do any more?

Paula

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Hi Scared-

Please don't start dabbling in prescription medication to help you sort out your thoughts and feelings. That will only cloud your judgment and make things worse. Are you still seeing a therapist? Have you been working on dealing with these troubling thoughts?

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Fantasies are fantasies.... just please do not act on them.. even with a willing child... you will be doing that child great harm....

I do not think bad of you ... I am glad you feel saffe enough to talk about this...

Gabby

PS .. talk to a therapist.... they may help you deal with this... again... thankyou

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Thread,

I'm a victim of sexual abuse and can tell you what it means and how can distroy your life. It's as bad as physical disfiguration or worst...

Try to meet people who suffred sexual abuse in their childhood and get them to speak to you about it and this may help to convince your sub-conscious that is a negatif thinking.

If you are able to control yourself, then this is not too bad. However, may be, if you're not considering professional help at this stage, try to vary your fantasies. Means, try if you can, to find something else sexy to fantasize about and this can help.

Orgasm hasen't got to be achieved only by physical relationship. You can actually create scences in your imagination and fantasize with and that can lead you to orgasm. ty to write about it or paint pictures or anything that can achieve your sexual orgasm without you needing to have sex with somebody.

Try to get help if you couldn't. This is very serious.

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well I'm glad you love each other because if you are trying to say that theres nothing wrong with fantasizing about sexually abusing children then your wrong!

You deserve each other!

and where all this crap comes into it about loving one another for thinking like this! You want your head testing!

There's no excuse to even think about abusing little children! There's enough free sex out there to begin with, but NO! You won't be satisfied till an inocent life has been robbed of their dignity will you? You deserve everything you get!

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Guest ASchwartz

To everyone on this issue of "am I a pedophile?"

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-IV, to be diagnosed a pedophile you must meet the following criteria:

1. Over a period of at least 6 months, you must have repeated and intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a pre-pubescent child or children. Usually, the children are 13 years old and younger. It can involve boys, girls or both.

2. These fantasies and urges or behaviors cause real impairment of social or occupational functioning as well as othere areas (home, etc.).

3. The pedophile is at least 16 years old and is interested in children at least five years younger, although this often needs to be assessed by the authorities and by mental health professionals.

_____________________________________________________________

One thing I want to point out is that fantasies, especially those that are repeated, can be a precursor to action. There have been cases where people have reported dreams in which they committed acts of pedophilia, then, in waking life actually did it.

It is one thing to admire an attractive child because he is handsome and bright or she is cute, adorable and bright and quite a different thing to imagine having sex with that child. Just to clarify, the imaginings are very specific and very sexually exciting to the person do the imagining or fantasizing.

In my opinion:

If you have dreams or fantasies about sex with children and those are sexually exciting to you then, before you do something terrible, go for mental help.

Also, never medicate your self. Please see a psychologist for therapy or and a psychiatrist for medication if medication will help.

Allan

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I will appreciate it if I get some help here, please.

About that DSM:

- My fantasies are not extreme, and I tend to go more for Lolicon anyways. But that doesn't mean I don't watch CP. Unfortunately, I have been given this goddamn mental sickness that apparently has no cure whatsoever, not according to what I hear. I do like woman my age, I think there was a name for a person that likes both children and people their same age, but I can't remember it now.

- My fantasies cause no problems socially. In fact, I can get along with everyone (while being surprised I was never a victim of bullying. Except one or two days, which is pretty normal for everyone in highshcool).

- I turned 16 this year, and this is where I have my big question. While I look at pedofilia (and trying to get rid of this damn habit...), children in real life only called my attention sexually when I was 12 (the story about that in a while). Now I may look at pedofilia, masturbate to it, but I swear it really only happens on fantasy, and it is not that frecuent either.

--- So here's my story:

The the thing is, I have never had any actual dream with me having intercourse with a children or any other sort of act written in those lines.

My dad used to talk about sex with me all the time when I was a KID. So I started to develop interest in girls that were my age (like I was 9. Probably a bit earlier). So I started to like girls, not sexually, but everything they used to do. Today, I like to see little girls in choruses, or holding flowers, or beatiful dresses everywhere, although I am straight, the view I have for children is nice. I visit an orphanage every friday, and I get to see the children there nude sometimes, when I have to change their clothes. And thing is, I don't get any sort of sexual exitation that moment. I believe its because of the way I developed my view in nudism. I couldn't cause harm to children, not even if my life depended on it.

For God's sake, I'm one of the teenagers who gives no importance to alcohol, etc, etc, etc, and that's why I don't want to be with friends on weekends. I also came to the conclusion that I hate whores, or women that are just fake, and fake relations. I believe that may be one of the reasons I was dragged to watch CP.

I started to watch it when I was 12, for the sake of wanting to see girls my age, as the old ones never called my attention. My parents did the horrible of giving me free internet, my own TV, and everything, so I had easy access to this content. And now it is here to bite me.

I tried a few months ago to try not to look at it, lasted two weeks, and it returned to bite me.

I have no social issues. In fact, i'm interested in acting, and computers, kind off like an equilibrated mind. Never suffered excessive bullying, Im normal guy when it comes to school.

--- Long story short:

I love children, but I don't do it sexually. I look at CP sure (and again, trying to get rid of the goddamn habit), and it doesnt influence my life. I get along with my brother and with my mom, except for the occasional fights, but that's normal for my age. I hate whores and I love innocense and that might have caused me to want to look at CP. Girls my age are more than fine for me as long as they are not the common whore-type of teenager which gets drunk when she gets the chance. You see how things go.

I really want help with this. I am not even sure if I am really a pedofile.

EDIT: I really need to get cured because othewise I know that wherever I go the messed up law is going to keep me away of children, which is something I can't live with. My dream is to marry and have two girls, and then live my life like a dad; not to have my girls, and not being able to see them because of the unthinkable law.

EDIT 1: Looking at the other posts, it seems paula is good when it comes to this. Give me your word, 'cause it's certainly everything I need.

EDIT 2: And please, don't come with the "shoot yourself before you hurt a child", because a) I live for protecting children and :) I have seen a lot of people suggesting that that it is a real sickness. People that think that killing pedofiles is a solution DO need to get a mental check soon >.>.

Edited by incredibly confused

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I have removed my posts in this thread because there are dangerous psychologically damaging things in here and nothing should be read by anybody who isn't a trained mental health professional. Sorry to all this has affected.

Edited by scared

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This isn't all about you here!

The term pedophilia or paedophilia has a range of definitions as found in psychology, law enforcement, and the popular vernacular. As a medical diagnosis, it is defined as a psychological disorder in which an adult experiences a sexual preference for prepubescent children. According to the DSM, pedophilia is specified as a form of paraphilia in which a person either has acted on intense sexual urges towards children, or experiences recurrent sexual urges towards and fantasies about children that cause distress or interpersonal difficulty. The disorder is frequently a feature of persons who commit child sexual abuse; however, some offenders do not meet the clinical diagnosis standards for pedophilia. In strictly behavioral contexts, the word "pedophilia" can also be applied to the act of child sexual abuse itself, also called "pedophilic behavior".

In law enforcement, the term "pedophile" is generally used to describe those accused or convicted of the sexual abuse of a minor (including both prepubescent children and adolescent minors younger than the local age of consent). An example of this use can be seen for example in the name of the United Kingdom police agency, the Paedophile Unit and in various forensic trainings manuals. Some researchers have described this usage as improper and suggested it can confound two separate types of offenders.

In common usage, the term refers to any adult who is sexually attracted to children or who sexually abuses a child.

The causes of pedophilia are not known; research is ongoing. Most pedophiles are men, though pedophilia occurs in women as well. In forensic psychology and law enforcement, there have been a variety of typologies suggested to categorize pedophiles according to behavior and motivations. No significant curative treatment for pedophilia has been found at this time. There are, however, certain therapies that can reduce the incidence of pedophilic behaviors that result in child sexual abuse.

If you think your a Pedophile, then do something about it! Go an see a Psychiatrist, a Doctor, SOMETHING! If it worry's you that much? Only you knows what your capable of? And there's only you that can do something about it as well!

You talk about rape. Let me tell you something, you don't know nothing about rape! So before you come on this site, shouting your mouth of about rape mate! I suggest you get your Pedophillia problem sorted first don't you!

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There seems to be a lot of anger on this thread and although this is clearly a very sensertive subject I don't think ranting helps so much. Anyways..

"Does Attraction To Children Make Me A Pedophile? What If Im Just As Attracted To Adults?

How Do I Know If Im More Attracted To Children Than Adults?

Shouldnt It Just Be If You Cant Be Aroused By Children And Therefore Uncapable Of Intercourse With An Adult?

Why Do You Not Have To Rape Children To Be A Pedophile???

Why Do You Not Have To Rape Children To Be A Pedophile???"

Pedophilic urges are thoughts, so finding children sexually attractive when you are at least 5 years senior (read that someone where on the official definition) would mean you are a pedophile. It's about the way you think that defines it.

Just because you think that way dosen't mean you have to carry out these kind of actions. It is possible to desire 'normal' relationships as well as pedofilic ones or have any other sexual 'fetish'.

There is therepy for people that have pedofilic urges and anyone who is concerned that they could act out should definatly see a profesional asap.

Kali

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Scared what you being an idiot for?

was about 5, you think thats pedophillia?

If it is then ive turned into a pedophile through fear of it, if thats possible then somethings not right.

By the way it does seem to me like you WANT me to be a pedophile.

I've sat here many a time and looked and answered many of your post! I've tried to even sympathize with you. But if you want to play that game then I won't even bother in future?

You know damn well that I've tried to help you. If this is the thanks that I'm going to get, well stuff you!

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I have removed my posts in this thread because there are dangerous psychologically damaging things in here and nothing should be read by anybody who isn't a trained mental health professional. Sorry to all this has affected.

Edited by scared

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