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Born to Perish

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Yes I am creative as I have been told.:o I have many characters that I have created and I intend to become a good writer someday that can express my ideas in a positive manner and also I want something else good to watch on TV. I love my characters, they have been my friends for so long. I met my first when I was 5 his name is Tommy.:)

Hi Born,

I have a 16yr old son who has autism. He is obsessed with movie actors and dates of movies , when they were made , and horror flicks. He also creates his own characters , and has "other names" for kids that ride the bus . Just saw a connection there, as you wrote that you have autism as well, but, i am wondering if it is Aspergers Syndrome. Because you seem to me a highly inteligent young man.

Acceptence and uncondional love is vital to those that are family and friends. I am so happy that you now know that you can feel a sense of belonging, no matter what. HUman beings need each other, and we can't get along this world without the support of others.

So glad your feeling better ,

mscat

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Yes that is the kind of autism I possess and yes I have known and loved Tommy ever since I was 5. I am almost an adult and I don't plan on that changing. I couldn't carry on knowing that Tommy was gone. Regardless of how many friends I may have here on earth. I will always love the ones from the other universe as well. They are my family. Always have been; always will be. I have a question now if you please. How'd you know my gender. I don't recall mentioning it. However I do appreciate the complement, thank you, you are sweet. Your son will be fine, but if he tells you the kids at school are bothering him you should help all that you can. If he is anything like me I'm sure that he is simply naive of the fact that people consider his behavior to be strange. I was ignorant of this fact until I was in the 7th grade. That is when the persecution truly began. By the way Tommy is an important creation of mine and I cannot reveal too much about him, because others will steal him away from me. This is the internet remember. I wish I could tell more about him, but alas I can not. I'm suprised I even had the gumption to reveal his name and my sexual orientation. I'm on a roll!!! Don't hate me, just live your life in peace.

Love lift us up where we belong;)

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Sorry, I did not know that telling us about Tommy would be a problem for you. Of course you are free to tell us only what you feel like sharing :)

I wish I had an imaginary friend to help me and be with me. I had a bad night last night, lots of waking up, and I tried to create one, but I just could'nt do it, he never came together....

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Oh I am so sorry sweetie...:) I didn't want people to be envious of me. I never expected others to be envious of me. I didn't know it was possible. One day Tommy just appeared to me. I think I know why though. I believe God chose these characters for me, because I need extra help all of the time and I couldn't do anything at all without them. I am being totally sincere in this. Be strong and seek others to assist you. If you find that you cannot get any help then I'm sure God will provide you with one too someday. I do not like to be considered above others since I am not. I'm sure the reason one hasn't come to you is, because maybe you don't truly need one right now, but when you do they'll come. Just believe. They will come when you need them the most. If you'd like to tell me what the problem is I would be happy to talk to you about it and for what it's worth, you have me and the rest of this community on your side. I am your friend and your family for all time. Be strong.

Live Long and Prosper, they'll come when you need them;)

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Hi Born to Perish,

Just letting you know, you're not alone. I'm a pedophile (you'll accept me, right? :)) and I too have trouble not to identify with pure evil sometimes. I'd say, join the party!

I'm sure there are many guys and gals who dig truly batshit insane guys like you appear to be. At least more than there are children who dig me. :( This might shock you, but your life has plenty of potential to turn out just great!

Much love,

Schillaci

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My problem has been resolved. If my friend wants some he can come get some. I'm not going to live the rest of my life in fear because he is dangerous. Heck I'm dangerous too and as far the pedophile thing is concerned I don't care. If you accept me for me, I don't care what you have done, you are alright with me. I also think it's cool you have a brother named Tom, that's awesome! I'd like to write stories about my friends wonderful adventures in a distant land. I suppose this could be considered creative writing. I want to write movies and tv series. Also I am a psycho and I am proud of it. I hope to find that special someone one day and I also hope that they will be like me so that I can help them with their problems too. We are all one, including those who think that we are not. Life is an illusion. Just don't get carried away like I did.;) I go to school on week days, but I check back here everday, so make sure to come by and say a few words. I'd love to hear them! BORN OUT--- Orale arriba la raza!!!:cool:

NOW: I am not dangerous okay, don't get excited. Think about it. Who isn't dangerous? Everyone is capable of great good and great evil. I AM NOT A PSYCHO. Nothing wrong with psychopaths, but that is a lie, I am not. If you mean the term: Psychotic. I am not that either. No one is.

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If you wish to talk to me I would be delighted. I'm hoping I didn't scare anyone away don't you know. I am a nice and very meek person, don't avoid me, I am open for conversation. If the people that have talked to me in the past are out there, I'd like you to talk to me again if you please. I'm hoping that I get some replies tomorrow: February 18, 2010. Feel free to ask me any questions about my life and talk to me about your problems too, if you wish.

There is no room for hatred in this world, I can't treat someone poorly even if I wanted to and I am not a lier.

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I am 17 and if you don't mind me asking this of you: can you tell me what the impossible to groom thing ment. I didn't understand. Also I have expected more people to show up. I guess that is the way things go, if you expect something it doesn't happen and if you don't expect something to happen it will. I am able to see inside the minds of other's through my past experiences, and I have previously discovered that I am much more mature than what my age constitutes. I can relate to almost any situation. I probably should be a psycologist, but I need help myself so, it's kind of confusing. I like to help other people and I like it when people help me. No one wishes to do what they feel is immoral, however sometimes cravings can get out of hand. In the end the people just need to find a safer place and get away from their obsessions so that they can have security for themselves and not feel like a monster. Whatever you are born with you can not control, but you can cope with it if you feel that it is wrong. If you think what you are doing is right then more power to you. I can't say anything bad about anyone at all, there is just too much wrong with me. It would be unjustly hypocritical of me to judge others based on the way they were born. Murderers need help too and if they refuse assistance then I suggest that they take that up with the people of the town. Murder is absolutely wrong and is the only thing I will speak out against. I understand why you did it, but if it wasn't a good reason and I will know, then don't do it. Of course the term murder implies that one was not only savagely annihilated but innocent as well, meaning they didn't provoke the person. It is horrible to hunt someone down and kill them just, because you don't like their appearance or their sexual choice. It isn't really your affair so do not get involved. I only feel for those who are sorry for their crimes and hope to turn their life around, or at least humblely accept a lifetime behind bars. If I did that to someone, I wouldn't mind staying in jail. I would feel guilty if I had not.

Please come and say hi sometimes people: Everyone is a person and deserves a second chance.:)

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:(Have I lost my friends or something? Guys don't abandon me like the others. If you disagreed with something I said, then just tell me. I'll understand. You guys are my new friends right? Please come back and say a few words please.:)

Now: Commentary: How pathetic was I? I wasn't willing to back up what I said? Oh I was not happy back then, god it was sad.

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Born, you haven't done anything.

But, the way conversations work, you can't just walk up to people and say, "Talk to me. Prove that I still have friends."

People tend to respond when they share common interests. So, what are your interests? Do you spend all your time with your special friends, and if not, what do you do with yourself? What are you planning on doing with your life?

For instance, I am a software engineer, going through a divorce, majored in Biology, I enjoy reading and playing an Asian strategy board game called Go.

Another alternative might be to share some of your thoughts on other people's posts (I've seen you do some). People like to talk about themselves, so a little curiosity and a few questions can often generate a conversation.

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Oh Malign you are soo sweet for coming by to see me. It has been days since I had talked to someone and by the way you are right about what you said. I know how to do it now. I think it's nice that you are leading a healthy life as an engineer. I always spend time with my special friends. Everyday of the week I do. They help me do everything that I need help with and they are very nice to me. I love to write stories about their past and create little comedy scripts that they partake in for my own enjoyment and hopefully for others enjoyment in the future. I am very happy now. I have made a revelation at school and I can be myself now. I am free, free to be me! Does anyone know anything about writing and what to do if you want to put the movie on television?

Now: Commentary: You know this was a combination of our voices togther. Interesting huh? She is such a nice girl. Calling people sweeet and what not. I said all of the funny stuff though. And the cool stuff like: The Heart is a House of Love.

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Hi Born to Perish

You sound like the most amazing person. I have read every word you wrote in this thread and I kept telling myself I was tired and I shouldn't sit up and keep reading but I couldn't stop. You are so emotional, thoughtful and expressive. You have a fantastic mind and I guess that gives you fantastic and equally not so fantastic experiences sometimes. Thanks so much for coming to this forum and bringing your brilliant creative mind here. I have really enjoyed reading your stuff.

I just noticed malign's post and he/she is a software engineer going through a divorce and enjoys playing Go - I thought it was me for a moment :D

As for acceptance of you I wouldn't want to put it that way I think you are a gift! A gift to humanity. I am obviously sad at the things that hurt you and when you are unhappy but you are so dynamic it's awesome.

Thank you again for coming here.

Keep well

Sam

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hello there, havent been on here in awhile forgot i had this i forget alotta things all the time, i think its impossible to figure out, but anyways came across your post and had to comment you seem like a great individual gotta be honest didnt read all the post but several read enough to make me wanna comment anyways, but yea you remind me of me in alotta ways we suffer from few of the same things and both suffer from several things lol so yea, anyways you just gotta think positive man see things in a positive light, you said you should be a psychologist i feel the same way i've learned so much from my research on so many things, you also was asking about what anyone knew about writing i dont know much but im sure the internet has the information you seek or the library i found a few books on writing movie scripts at my library as i was and still interested and thats one of my goals is to write a movie script weither it ever gets made into a film or not i planned the whole thing out in my head although i dont remember much of it its been awhile ago and my mind tends to drift from one thing to another and while part/one/whatever of me wants to write that script the other parts of me wanna do something else lol so yea lol but umm script writing isnt that hard so if its something you really wanna do then id go after it, besides im sure you've seen a movie before just analyze it from a script writers perspective know what i mean, and as far as creating a great movie i forget everything but all great movies or so they say atleast must include certain aspects like a relationship/developing relationship, a happy ending because well we all like happy endings, but thats only what i can remember from my research on script writing....and just something randomly id like to say that i thought of outta nowhere i found kinda inspirational i was watching the joy behar show and there was a comedian who done different umm i cant think lol umm impersonations and voices and she said she just heard these voices and just spoke em how she heard em and she said that she was a happy skitzophrenic and not a tormented one found that pretty inspirational i mean why feel bad about being a skitzophrenic thats not really necc. directed toward you just anyone who reads it and feels inspired by it you know...but anyways i just wanted to post cuz yea your def. a kool person, and if your ever feeling down put in a comedy always great to laugh you know find a reason to smile or just not give a f*** about something someone said negative or anything negative, anyways im outta here im losin concentration im gettin caught up watchin the olympics...one luv, lost souls.

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Thank you guys. I am extermely touched by your loving comments. I too am a happy skitzophrenic and have found that this is not a weakness, but a strength. For the first time in my life I am truly free to be me. I have been set free. Put the world on notice, because I am no longer intimidated. I am free to be me! I love writing about my friends and their incredible adventures. It is truly a passion for me, because it gives me strength and makes me happier than anything else does. Now I am truly in a better place, because I have earthbound friends now as well. I am truly touched so with that said there is only one thing left to say: Thank you.

Come by any time guys

That magic feeling, never let me down, I've got the greatest friends that ever could be found...":cool:

Live your dreams and be true to your heart, because then you have all you need to make it through.:)

Now: No I am not a skitzophrenic. It is a physical problem, not mental from what I've heard.

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Hi Born To Perish

I caught this in Kara_Loves's intro post:

... Medication may be required although not wanted. I have to take mine, but I chose not to because of my recent discovery...

Are you sure this is a good idea? I have bipolar and you know us BPs and Schiz'es have to keep taking the medication. Even if we feel good and make discoveries...

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Thank you very much for your concern Luna. I have decided against taking my medication, because I do not want to feel confined anymore. I like to have fun! Everybody asks me all of the time: Well why are you so mad all of the time? and "I couldn't imagine you having fun." It's SAD! For crying out out loud! I love to be free! I love to be me! The only thing I have to work on is my anger and then I will be just fine. I might take medicine for that. If people are peaceful toward me. My OCD freaks me out sometimes so I might have to take medication for that. But the skitzophrenia thing: "Oh Heavens no!" I love being other people! I have 2 regular personalities. Usually I act like a "fool" so to speak. I love to freak people out and be hyper and all over the place. It is who I am. I am done suppressing that! No more: "You Failed!" Because I need to be happy! :D Gumption! LOL!:) If you share happiness with others then you will be even happier. I love to laugh dance act sing jump run and play, like a kid! I am soooo free! Oh my gosh so love it! I have never been this happy before! Oh flip flipperin' flippin hat! I got that off of a movie! Isn't that cute and funny! So are these smiley faces:) LOL! I deserve to be happy and free just like everyone else and that is my intention, regardless of the aftermath. Thank you for talking Luna, you are so sweet for caring. If there are any more questions then remember I will always come back here everyday unless something happens to me God forbid. I love you guys! :)

Now: I do not have OCD. I am not a fool and having fun doesn't make you one. Not having it makes you a fool, because you are only robbing yourself of a natural need. I was so incredibly funny wasn't I? This stuff is stuff I heard off of movies. I must say thank you to all of the friends here who helped me through this difficult time. I was only crazy for thinking I was. None of you are either, and you never were, because there is no such thing.

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Good morning Born,

Sam is right, this is certainly a most fascinating thread... sort of like watching a kangaroo run loose in the attic.

So, Born, once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s hard to get it back in, so, before you let the toothpaste out of the tube, what kind of person were you? Before the meds wore off and you were following the prescribed regimen, can you tell us what your life was like in the tube?

David

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Oh when I was in the "tube"... I was better at acting like a "normie". I didn't really like it too much, but I grew used to it after the first 2 years of acting home and abroad. It was okay for a while and then I started to unravel and wear down. I couldn't act anymore. I had done so for 5 years at home and abroad, so I got confused between who I really wanted to be and who I was acting like. The only part of myself I did not conceal was my generosity. No one knew I was bisexual, had imaginary friends, liked to sing and dance on a daily basis- to make a long story short: I was becoming the exact opposite of what I really was. The only time I had freedom was when I was completely isolated from everybody on the planet. Then I would be silly and talk to my friends from the 2nd dimension. Plus I think the kangaroo thing is funny, excellent choice! Glad to have talked Dave please come back and talk again sometimes.---- That goes for you everyone else too! Remember- The Heart is a house, of love!:):eek::(

Now: The word "normie" was made by me to make myself feel better about being looked at as different. I don't use it anymore. I never meant to hurt anyone with the term. Other people often do this as well to make themselves feel better. That isn't cool.

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Hello BornToPerish

You mention that you are in almost every minority group. I like that. I think I understand too. Strangely I am not. I am just a dull old middle class, heterosexual, white, intelligent, normal boring old git. But... There is something that is very different about me. I like people in minority groups with a passion. I love homosexuals and even better bisexuals. Why? I guess it's because I hate prejudice so much. I get so upset when I see people hurting other people. It leaves me with a paradox sometimes because I want to hurt the people who hurt other people. And life seems to get more complicated not less so. I had a friend once who was very proud of his male attributes and was bisexual and he fancied me like mad. I was flattered. Most heterosexuals don't understand that but I think that is because they are afraid. He was one of the best people I have ever known and although he died a few years ago (he was a bit old) and I am very sad to this day that he is no longer around I am also extremely happy that I got to know him at all. He has left me with more love and this whole planet with more love than was here before he arrived.

I guess the reason the "normal" people pick on minorities is to make themselves feel safe that somehow they are not weird. But weird is good. Weird is necessary. And weird is not always comfortable or easy to manage in a "normal" world.

I know what you mean when you say your family tell you to be yourself and then, when you are, they object. That's another one of those paradoxical things. I think it is about freedom. Collectively the human race seems to get the idea that freedom is a good thing. It is my view too. But as soon as real freedom is exhibited many people try to stop it. And I'm not talking about things like a mad axe man trying to kill me. Of course I would exercise my freedom and try to stop him. (One did once and I did stop him so I am still here to write this. And he is still here too, so all is well. There lies and interesting story.) But people are so afraid that they stop other people's freedom just in case it threatens them. Then it all becomes a heap of oppression. It's like wearing ties in business meetings. It's to show you comply with their ideas etc. If you don't wear a tie they treat you suspiciously and soon you are out of their "club". It seems to me that there is a lot of that going on all over the place. It ties (forgive the pun) in with the oppression of minorities.

I have a nephew and he was thrown out of school for throwing a chair at his teacher. He was about 7 years old. When I was told about this I said to him "Well done!". His mother (my sister) really didn't understand. She said I was being irresponsible. Not many people understand where I am coming from. At least not to start with. (I hope I am not boring you with all this.) What I think is that if the 7 year old was in an environment (of adults) which was making him so angry that he threw a chair at the teacher I wonder what the teachers were doing to provoke him. By the time he's 35 it might not be such a good idea to throw chairs at people but he was 7. I think they were oppressing him and being contradictory about things like freedom and self-expression. I know my nephew and he has such a kind heart. He is just the most lovely creature you could imagine. He is so inventive, so compassionate, and just so awesome. So I prefer to tell him the truth and I thought he was brave to throw the chair. I think the teachers were big enough to look after themselves. I think they should have laid less blame on him and thought more about their own behaviour. What I think I am telling you is that there are lots of really nice and understanding people in the world but they are a minority too. So unfortunately you don't get to meet them very often.

That makes me wonder. Is it that there are a few nice people and the rest are crap? Or is it that there are a few people who understand us and the rest don't. People who don't understand us when we need a bit of support and understanding can seem pretty horrible. I'm not saying it is like this - just wondering aloud.

I hope you don't mind if I sort of ramble to you like this. It gives me the chance to express myself and I don't really know enough about you to know what to say that is specific to you. I like you and I think you are a very loving and dynamic person. I'm sorry that you have patches where you are really sad. And then I think of things that you have said about how dreadful you are. Like that you are psychopathic. I find that interesting because you say it as if someone should think badly of you if that is the case. But I think other people don't know what they are talking about. As far as I understand it there is nothing wrong with being psychopathic (and by the way I don't think you are but I don't know). There are lots of very nice people out there who are psychopathic. But, of course, people use the term to mean a really nasty unfeeling person. If someone called me psychopathic (well they did once - it was a very religious and holy man who was the headmaster of a school I got expelled from - and there lies another interesting story :rolleyes:) I would feel a bit upset (to put it mildly). But that is because people use words in weird ways and they give a "clinical diagnosis" name to a "horrible insult" so they can pretend they are "right". But it is only an insult and insults hurt.

I am very tired and have to go off and do boring things. I hope you have enjoyed reading this and I hope to come back and say more. In the mean time please take care of yourself because you make me feel like you are an egg rattling around in a box and I really don't want you to get hurt. (I loved David O's image of a kangaroo running loose in the attic.)

On a serious note - How are you? Are you coping alright in this crazy world of "normal" people?

Keep well.

Thinking of you.

Sam

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Oh my gosh you are like the sweetest person I have ever met. Your comment about the egg scenario was adorable. It made me feel so tiny, cute, precious and special. I did enjoy reading what you wrote and you are litterally the greatest person I have ever met and this is no exaggeration. The world needs more great people like you. Without people like you, savages would reign supreme, but with your pressence it gives me even more hope than I had before. Thank you very much for worrying about me. I am doing a lot better than I was now and I think if things continue to go the way they are going I will continue to have good days. Also feel free to write as much as you want here and use as many puns as you want to. I will love to read it! I agree with the fear aspect by the way and understand your motive for what you told your nephew. You are truly awesome and I'd find it rather grand if you would report back here once more so that I may learn more about you. I'm am doing very well now and I'd absolutely love to talk to you more. Feel free to ask me any questions, as I'd love to answer them and make sure you stop by okay sweetie: Pretty please;) LOL! I hope to see you back here okay Samspruce and please if you will bring friends for I'd love to talk to the finest mortals in the land. Ta Ta- The Heart is a House of Love---:):rolleyes:

Now:Commentary: Oh my god! It's like me and her were the same person! First she was talking then I chimed in about the "savages". Yep that is definitely her. I don't say "Lol" it is stupid to me. I know it's funny, I don't need to make that declaration! She is so sweet though, you've gotta love her.

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Hi BornToPerish

I was also wondering if you were born or had perished. :rolleyes: How are things going in your offline life? What do you do? Do you visit or get visits from anyone? I forgot where you live - is it with your parents? How are things going there around you...? :)

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