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David O

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An autobiographical book about depression and suicidality and an interview about it:

 

http://www.cbc.ca/radio/thesundayedition/june-18-2017-the-sunday-edition-with-michael-enright-1.4161776/daphne-merkin-on-staying-alive-despite-her-near-constant-wish-to-die-1.4161821

 

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Merkin's new book is an inside look at what it is like to live with clinical depression, never knowing if it will ever go away. It is also an account of her difficult relationship with her Orthodox Jewish mother, and a deeply personal examination of the nature vs. nurture debate. 

Daphne Merkin is an essayist, critic and novelist based in New York City. Her new book is called This Close to Happy: A Reckoning with Depression.

 

 

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1 hour ago, Victimorthecrime said:

I have found in my life that friends can be very situational.  To put in bluntly they are there for the good times but not so much the bad.  

Nicely put. My first reaction was laughter, although it's so sad :( . I really don't think it's generally true about friends, but... I cannot close my eyes before the fact that many people apparently behave like that. I suppose in many cases, it's because they don't know what to do; probably nobody had been there for them when they needed it, so they don't know how to be there for someone else. We sometimes fear we'll do more harm so we do nothing (like when people withdraw from someone bereaved) :( ...

BTW, it reminded me of this part of the documentary I posted here yesterday:

http://www.cbc.ca/radio/outintheopen/man-up-1.4205118/stoic-warrior-mentality-is-ill-suited-to-military-service-says-corporal-1.4205773

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Thanks, Vic, for the comment. I haven't read it, but one friend was 'over the moon' when reading it and recommended it very much. I've read some readers' comments and an excerpt plus the contents and I think I get it - it may be apparently very helpful to many people. But I seem impossible to be improved by any book, so... not sure I'll read more. 

___________________

Some quotes some of you might also like:

https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/42375710-a-little-life

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Probably mainly for students:

Fostering resilience among students: a little stress goes a long way (There is good evidence that exposure to some forms of stress leads to an individual sense of mastery and adaptability in the face of adversity.)

https://www.universityaffairs.ca/opinion/in-my-opinion/fostering-resilience-among-students-little-stress-goes-long-way/

This might be a (funny) song to complement it ;) :

Or, "form a different point of view", this - but to fully appreciate the parody, you need to watch the original video (which already looks like an awkward parody but is meant seriously):

 

Another article from the same magazine, written by a student:

Dealing with mental health: a guide for professorshttps://www.universityaffairs.ca/opinion/student-voices/dealing-with-mental-health-aguide-for-professors/

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5 hours ago, LaLa said:

(There is good evidence that exposure to some forms of stress leads to an individual sense of mastery and adaptability in the face of adversity.)

I totally agree w that.  Over the years I have know several guys that were from "good families" and they were so insulated them from any form of genuine trouble, difficulty or adversity that when it came time to live their own life they shut down.  These guys felt that problems were a sign that something was horribly wrong; they had neither context nor coping skills to mount a response. 

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Yes regarding article about men its true we are often told to open up but WHO you open up to really matters.  Some people will make you regret even bothering.  Some people just don't have the maturity needed to handle the fact that life has problems.  They're the ones that like to blame the victim so you certainly don't want to share your problems w them.

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I had a weird reaction while reading your post, Vic: Sadness about what you describe, but also some regret related to "(me) not really having close (IRL) friends": "Yes, and then there are people who'd like (some) men to open up to them but no one does." *sigh* But I don't want to make this about me, this was just a marginal comment.

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I think everyone, regardless of gender, copes in their own personal way. Some may find healing from drawing inward or even pulling away. It may not be ideal in a perfect world to respond this way, but it's human. I have learned that I can't make another person share or reach out; it has to be their choice and they have to feel safe enough in order to do so. My hope would be that we don't push men (or anyone) to express themselves openly, but rather help create an environment where others know we are there for them if they want to share.

I also agree that it's important to save sharing with another who is open, supportive, willing to listen, and who will respect and care for our vulnerability.

Close friendships are invaluable, but I have also found them to be rare. I hope all of us find our way to what we need and want.

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