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Ashamed and Embarrassed


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Is it worth myself, or anybody else suggesting some things you can do? Would you take any action anyway?

I appreciate all the help that anyone here offers me and I will follow your suggestions but at the same time I don't see what you or anybody can do for me and this problem that I have.

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I think it's really about what you want to do about it. Not that you can alter your body, but you can try changing your thinking and attitude in order to improve things. But you have to want to try. And that is your choice alone to make. Once you are trying, support from others might be helpful as well.

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I appreciate all the help that anyone here offers me and I will follow your suggestions but at the same time I don't see what you or anybody can do for me and this problem that I have.

You are right lonely guy, none of us here can do anything for you, unless you are willing to at least try and make some changes for yourself.

You have said that you are shy. A problem of "attitude" which can be overcome just by a change of thinking, and setting yourself some practical, easily acheiveable goals, like saying helo to at least 2 people in a day. chatting online in some forum that covers an area of interest or expertise.

Give us "one piece" of this whole problem you want help with, and Im sure we can at least come up with a few ideas.

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sky, my original succes with women came from a mixture of confidence and humour. I developed a good sense of humour as a defence when I was younger to help cope with the bullying over size by girls at school, because I could not hit a girl. I would also get bullied by boys at school which I also used to deal with using humour, untill one day a kid went to far, and I finally hit the kid. that was the day I discovered the power of voilence and fear. so I became the school phsyco.

When I left Borstal and rejoined my friends, I used my size as a motivator to be better than my peers. I would be small but I would also date and fuck more, and better women than my friends. So that when anybody did ever bring up size I could always say, "yeh its small, but I fuck better and more than you"

Being ridiculed in public by a woman and then a couple of bouts of impotence just knocked the confidence out of me, because my confidence was only a veneer.

The only avenue open to us small men is to be the best we can be. Make the most of the body we have by getting fit and grooming. Making the best of our brains by challenging and defeating some of our more extreme thoughts. I have lost a good deal of wieght since december, got an offer of work starting October, made a plan to try and start dating once I get the job and some money etc. Rec, has planned a trip, cut down on his porn and weed, made some adjustments to his attitude.

But ultimately I think the cure for this is accept your not going to be the perfect lover, but you can be the best you can. Build super solid james bond confidence even if it is built on a deck of cards initally.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi ND and Skynight,

There are no perfect lovers, male or female. There are only human beings. As human beings most people are wanting much more than sex. They want love, affection, acceptance and warmth.

That is why I just wonder about the kind of women many of you seem to meet, the kind of woman who ridicules. I cannot imagine the average woman behaving that way.

Allan

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Making the best of our brains by challenging and defeating some of our more extreme thoughts. I have lost a good deal of wieght since december, got an offer of work starting October, made a plan to try and start dating once I get the job and some money etc.

But ultimately I think the cure for this is accept your not going to be the perfect lover, but you can be the best you can.

That's terrific news about the job, your weight and dating, ND. :D Be the best you can...that's all any of us can do in the long run. Good for you.

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The trouble is with "average" or "most" women is that even though we can do our best by screening our women, we cannot know which will then go on to ridicule us or tell thier friends about our condition. This is why I keep saying that dating is no better than russian roulette.

Whatever the answer, be they average or not average, as small men we have to be able to accept ridicule as part of our life. We have to be able to ignore it. However ridiculous an idea that is.

Sexually active small man = Ridiculed, period.

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Whatever the answer, be they average or not average, as small men we have to be able to accept ridicule as part of our life. We have to be able to ignore it. However ridiculous an idea that is.

Sexually active small man = Ridiculed, period.

This kind of thinking is what keeps me feeling so bad about my condition, I can't ignore being ridiculed.

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Not ignore ridicule, necessarily, but survive it.

You know, lots of people get ridiculed, for lots of things. I know that you guys are particularly vulnerable to it, because of how you feel about what's being ridiculed.

But what it comes down to is, why let someone else's opinion affect your own, so much? Just because they tell you it's important to be big, doesn't mean you have to believe what they say. Look at how many people (male and female) here have told you that it doesn't matter, to them. Why only listen to the ones who say it does?

Yes, I know the answer: because you already believe them, going in.

But hey, we've been talking about what can you change, and there it is, right there. Perhaps, being a valuable, loved, sexy man doesn't have much to do with the size of your penis.

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We do not ridicule ourselves, we are ridiculed by others.

We feel humiliated by the ridicule of others because we believe or know what they are saying is true.

So we have to argue that being small is as desirable as average or large. Futile.

You cannot polish a turd. The best you can do with your turd is roll it in glitter, but it still smells bad to anyone who go's near it, even its owner.;)

I agree we small men can be sexually attractive, loving, smart (no all:o) strong successfull in all the areas that count.

But we must accept and cope with ridicule. We dont have to feel humiliated, but we do have to accept ridicule.

Our change therefore has to be to "so what Im small, I just dont give a fuck!"

Edited by nearlydead
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You cannot polish a turd. The best you can do with your turd is roll it in glitter...

You might want to skip this line of discussion on your first dates with women, ND.;)

I agree we small men can be sexually attractive, loving, smart (no all:o) strong successfull in all the areas that count.

Yes, you can. :)

I love your editing reasons, ND. :)

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I sincerely want to suggest that none of you cope with ridicule but reject it totally and reject those people.

Allan:(

What would you do in the following situation.

Man go's out gets a job, earns money and starts dating and building a social circle of new freinds because he has no existing social structure. He screen's several women for thier attitude to size before sleeping with one of them. The woman then ridicules the mans small penis and tells all his friends at the same time. from that point on every woman that he meets within that social circle knows he is small and all his male friends take great pleasure in ribbing him about his little poxxy penis. Every argument, conversation, joke, ends with "yeh but you have no penis".

I have basically done the above on three separate occassions. It is not easy to pick yourself up and restart your life completely from scratch.

If you tell people "please dont ridicule me for being small, it really upsets me and make me sad" what happens at best is they just laugh behind your back, at worst they continue with renewed vigour.

Before I repeat the above scenario all over again for the last time, I have to go into it with the mindset of "my size will become common knowledge, and I have to accept that I will be ridiculed" That is the best life I can have.

I dont have the courage for suicide, so I have to accept ridicule. We are dogs to be beaten.

Irma, it is not the potential., but a certain reality. Once your social cirle knows you are small, you will become an object of ridicule.

Edited by nearlydead
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Like I have said before. There is something about being rejected for being too small that is worse than any other form of rejection. I could have one eye, bad breath, a missing hand and I would be fine being rejected for any of those reasons. being small and the associated rejection is what I have a hard time with. I don't believe in love or the politically correct notion of relationships. I simply want to have sex and maybe date. Seeing hookers is a temporary solution but not a permanent one.

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I wonder why men would treat you this way? To fend off their own insecurities, I'd bet. Cruelty is always sad. One would think a true friend would treat you kindly and with respect. At any rate, being treated with cruelty doesn't mean that it's something that you deserve. Have you ever attempted defending yourself without becoming violent?

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I wonder why men would treat you this way? To fend off their own insecurities, I'd bet. Cruelty is always sad. One would think a true friend would treat you kindly and with respect. At any rate, being treated with cruelty doesn't mean that it's something that you deserve. Have you ever attempted defending yourself without becoming violent?

Men are competative, we all want to be top dog to a certain degree. They could also be motivated by their own insecurities, whatever. Thier motivation does not matter, it is the result that matters. It does not make me feel better to know that the person ridiculing me is as big a loser as I am. I have tried all sorts of ways of defending myself against this ridicule, from verbal attacks, voilence, humour, etc But unfortunately the "small penis card" always trumps any other insult. As Rec said, all of us would gladly swap our eyes for an extra inch on our penis.

As for true friends argument, do you only socialize with true freinds, or is your social circle made up of people who you have a varying degree of friendship with? do you like some better than others? do some of your friends like you more than others?

So unless anyone has some advice on how to accept ridicule on a daily basis, there is no point discussing the subject any further. As constant "rose tinted" suggestions of ridiculers being this and that and poor individuals themselves serves no one. Its just cliche answers.

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I totally get what you're saying, ND, and I hear your frustration. It's just hard sometimes for me to fathom people being like this. I understand that sometimes they are. But not everyone is.

One thing I would try when being ridiculed was to act as if it didn't bother me. I think that this takes some of their power away, but unfortunately you still have to feel the wounds until they quit.

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Thanks for the advice. I have not researched the exercises much but I am open to the possiblity. I have also researched a couple of alternative methods via surgery. One method is using alloderm injections and the other method is taking veins or capillaries out of one part of the body and putting them in the glans and dick which increases girth because more blood can get in. Both methods have claimed good results. I am going to wait a few more years before I do something like that so I can see where the technology is and if these things are viable. If I had girth between 4.5-5 inches I would be satisfied as that would give me an average dick and all of the problems I have been expressing here would be out the window.

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My length is average so I have no issue with length. I will definitely check on those girth exercises you mentioned as that would be great if they worked. I will research those a bit more so I can decide which ones to start working on. I have been to a couple of different websites that have forums where people discuss their experiences with these exercises. I am always quick to think they are scams but I will be a bit more open minded.

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Yeah, it is worth a shot. The other thing is that I am sure that in the next 5 to 10 years the surgical technologies will be a lot better. There are already some doctors out there who have some great ideas and are implementing new technologies in regards to girth increase. I think these technologies will get better as the years go by. There is enough of a marked out there for people who want to increase their size so I am sure researchers are working on ideas for this as we speak.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest ASchwartz

I want to reinforce what has been said about scams out there. There are lots of scams by people who want to exploit anyone with any kind of problem. When we talk about things like surgery and medication, please, please, be very careful. As far as I know, at this point, there is no real type of surgery that can lengthen penis size. Anyway, always check with your Medical Doctor and see a urologist to get advice.

Allan:(

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