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EricDavis2

Ashamed and Embarrassed

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In response to using hookers for sex, I've been there, done that. Many times. Can't say that I'm proud of that fact. Sex with prostitutes gives you that sexual contact with a woman and of course, the sexual release that we need from time to time. However, it is unfullfilling because of the fact that you know that she only had sex with you because you paid her - not because she wanted you or had feelings for you.

Then you're left with the realization that you knew all so well before - that you can't get laid like most men out there. That you are missing out on the emotional aspect of having someone to hold and to love. For me, sex is just a part of the experience.

This is why only twice in my sorry 55 yrs of existence have I been proud of myself: The 2 women whom I've dated for a decent amount of time. Pathetically, one was a virgin I never had sex with. The other was the one time I was intimate with a woman who wasn't a hooker. And I lost her to another man (whom she married just 6 months later).

She was wonderful and never made me feel insecure or ashamed of my small penis size. We parted as friends (still are), and I have never uttered a bad word about her because she was so good to me. They way she made me feel at ease that 1st night is something that I'll NEVER ever forget! She's in my heart forever. But I knew that when I lost her, I may have lost the one chance I had in life. It's so very difficult for me to meet women. If it's someone I can't have (like the wives of friends of mine), I can be relax, be funny or flurtatious with her because I know I have no chance (no pressure). BUT, if it's someone that may be available, I get terribly gun shy.

Obviously that one sexual relationship was a fluke occurrence, because I've never had sex with anyone since then. That was 12 years ago! Sad, huh? I've only dated one woman since, and I believe I lost her because I was afraid to make sexual advances toward her. A friend set me up, and we dated maybe 4 or 5 times and I never got the nerve to make a move.

My shame and insecurities about my penis stops me in my tracks. This fear has ruined me basically my entire life and I can't get past it. So I guess I gotta go back to empty, shallow sex with hookers. I cry like a baby when I'm alone just thinking of how weak I am. YOU ARE NOT A MAN IF YOU CANNOT GET WOMEN. It's THE most basic skill real "men" have - going after woman and getting them to be a part of their lives. Sadly, I do not possess the self-confidence that skill requires. One positive experience in 55 years doesn't give me that confidence. I wish it did. Women all state that they look for a man who is confident in himself. If that is the case, then I'm screwed! How's THAT for irony!

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I want to reinforce what has been said about scams out there. There are lots of scams by people who want to exploit anyone with any kind of problem. When we talk about things like surgery and medication, please, please, be very careful. As far as I know, at this point, there is no real type of surgery that can lengthen penis size. Anyway, always check with your Medical Doctor and see a urologist to get advice.

Allan:(

There was an infomercial on TV the other night(technically early morning) for one of these pills. The whole show was confessions from women denigrating and degrading men with small penises. It was as though having a small penis was worse than having a contagious disease. How could anyone be so heartless to run anything like that? Don't they even consider how that makes us feel? I guess the truth hurts. The worst part is that they know that the stuff they're selling doesn't work. They're giving false hope to guys like me.

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An infomercial is paid advertising. Expect them to do and say anything that sells the product.

In other words, there's no reason to believe a word of it. The "testimonials" are scripted and paid, they aren't required to believe their product actually works (it's a "supplement"), and you seem to be aware of these realities.

But you're still listening to it. Why?

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Guest ASchwartz

Hello Helplessly,

What you report about these "infomercials" is true: they exploit people and their feelings. They are unscrupulous and they lie and distort the facts. Real women are not that way. Pills do not work. Do not watch that trash.

Allan:(

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I don't know how the discussion changed from ashamed of penis size to infomercials, but whatever. As I read my previous posts, I was shocked to realize they were posted in 2010!! Its now 9 years later! During this time, Ive still been without a girlfriend. Guess I've given up the thought that I could be lucky enough to get a woman in my life to hold, cuddle with, talk to and even have sex with. Maybe thats why I always used to say I'll never get married .. I knew that I wasnt good enough to even get a girl to love me. Funny, but I've always been easy to please and am easy to get along with. So NATURALLY, I cant even satisfy my meager demands... Ive used humor to get by in life, but deep down I am a very sad person. Ashamed of how I have no nerve to persue what I so dearly wish i had. Thats real weakness - that no matter how much i want something in life that makes me proud of myself, I instead suffer and wallow in my depression. Wow. 9 more years, and ZERO progress. Pathetic. Im 64 years old, 3 girlfiends in total, and sex (except for unfullfilling sex with prostitutes) with just 1 woman. Boy, Im a real man, arent I?

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@EricDavis222 hey Eric good to see you back. It's been a minute.  

On 6/11/2019 at 4:13 PM, EricDavis222 said:

Ive used humor to get by in life, but deep down I am a very sad person

Boom. That's me to a T.  

 

On 6/11/2019 at 4:13 PM, EricDavis222 said:

Ashamed of how I have no nerve to persue what I so dearly wish i had

Don't be ashamed. There's nothing to pursue.  It's like pursuing being tall. Can't be done. 

Me and you are essentially in the same boat. I'm not even going to go into it. You know the deal. 

Best wishes.  

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Well you can't believe how much I feel your pain. I am 36 and never had a girl friend for the same reason as you. That's way worse than the one you have had. How am I ever going to get out of this stranglehold. I am also addicted to porn and masturbation.

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6 hours ago, the_anonymous_one said:

I am also addicted to porn and masturbation.

Ever notice how no one ever even questions why porn is completely open and free to anyone, even children, on the internet?  Whose decision was this and why is it never challenged?  Especially in this day & age of hypersensitivity about nearly everything.  To me it speaks to powerful people somewhere having an agenda but that's just my opinion.  

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13 hours ago, the_anonymous_one said:

Well you can't believe how much I feel your pain. I am 36 and never had a girl friend for the same reason as you. That's way worse than the one you have had. How am I ever going to get out of this stranglehold. I am also addicted to porn and masturbation.

I know how bad it is. But can I give a bit of advice? Looking back, when I was younger, there actually were women who were interested in me, and I totally missed the signs. I always just thought they wanted to be just a friend and were just being friendly talking to me. I never even considered the thought they might like to know me more intimately. So, I just chatted with them, and never even thought about asking them to join me for a cup of coffee, or a drink, or a quick bite at the local diner or doughnut shop. Now that I'm much older, I don't have any prospects at all.

So please, please, I beg you. If there's someone that likes to talk to you, even casually, and you know they are available, ask them to join you somewhere informally, like I mentioned above. An innocent little get together - no big production, no fancy dinner. It's not really a date. By getting your foot in the door like that, you might even surprise yourself and things might develop further. Please try. Don't be like me - 60 years old with sooooo much regret I beat myself up with it.

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Let me also address porn and masterbation. I love both too. I get horny, and love to watch porn and get off. But this is not a good substitute for actually being with someone. I don't mean having sex with them necessarily. I just mean having a connection, or having someone to tak to, or cuddle with. I've had sex with prostitutes too, and that, even though it satifies my needs physically, does nothing to enrich myself mentally or psychologically.

It's funny, but the couple of times I've actually had a girlfriend, the relationship lasted over a year. This is from an extremely shy person. I've never ever asked a girl out! One girl got ahold of me thru her girlfrend that told me she liked me. The 2nd was a girl that actually called me - and I said no like a fucking idiot! Thankfully, she called me the next day and I was ready this time and said yes. My 3rd and only other gf was one that a friend of mine gave me her phone number, and after thinking about a hundred times that "I can't call her" finally did and we went out. This one only lasted a few dates, but at least I got soe sort of a chance with her.

My point is, once I actually got started, it didn't go as badly as I expected. Now, I only had sex with one of them (GF #2), and that still haunts me to this day - I was so happy to actually have a gf that I failed to try for more.

So even though I have a small penis, and was very shy (especially when I was younger), once I was sort of forced into dating a woman, I did ok for the most part. I want guys here to try harder than I did. I gave up on myself too easily to ask someone out. And I'm kicking myself BIG TIME for it. Don't be a 60-year-old-loser like me. PLEASE!!

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On 7/13/2010 at 11:36 PM, EricDavis2 said:

 

This is why only twice in my sorry 55 yrs of existence have I been proud of myself: The 2 women whom I've dated for a decent amount of time. Pathetically, one was a virgin I never had sex with. The other was the one time I was intimate with a woman who wasn't a hooker. And I lost her to another man (whom she married just 6 months later).

She was wonderful and never made me feel insecure or ashamed of my small penis size. We parted as friends (still are), and I have never uttered a bad word about her because she was so good to me. They way she made me feel at ease that 1st night is something that I'll NEVER ever forget! She's in my heart forever. But I knew that when I lost her, I may have lost the one chance I had in life. It's so very difficult for me to meet women. If it's someone I can't have (like the wives of friends of mine), I can be relax, be funny or flurtatious with her because I know I have no chance (no pressure). BUT, if it's someone that may be available, I get terribly gun shy.

Obviously that one sexual relationship was a fluke occurrence, because I've never had sex with anyone since then. That was 12 years ago! Sad, huh? I've only dated one woman since, and I believe I lost her because I was afraid to make sexual advances toward her. A friend set me up, and we dated maybe 4 or 5 times and I never got the nerve to make a move.

My shame and insecurities about my penis stops me in my tracks. This fear has ruined me basically my entire life and I can't get past it. So I guess I gotta go back to empty, shallow sex with hookers. I cry like a baby when I'm alone just thinking of how weak I am. YOU ARE NOT A MAN IF YOU CANNOT GET WOMEN. It's THE most basic skill real "men" have - going after woman and getting them to be a part of their lives. Sadly, I do not possess the self-confidence that skill requires. One positive experience in 55 years doesn't give me that confidence. I wish it did. Women all state that they look for a man who is confident in himself. If that is the case, then I'm screwed! How's THAT for irony!

You're pretty much the in the same boat as me. I'm a few years older than you and only had sex one time. Can't talk to women to save my life. Not that it's worth saving. Never had sex with a hooker. I couldn't have PIV sex now even if I had the opportunity. I'm thinking about hiring a hooker just so I can get to make physical contact with a woman one last time before I shuffle off this mortal coil. It all sucks.

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On 7/14/2010 at 1:36 AM, EricDavis2 said:

In response to using hookers for sex, I've been there, done that. Many times. Can't say that I'm proud of that fact. Sex with prostitutes gives you that sexual contact with a woman and of course, the sexual release that we need from time to time. However, it is unfullfilling because of the fact that you know that she only had sex with you because you paid her - not because she wanted you or had feelings for you.

Hookers really helped me at one point in my life.  I became confident I could "do it."  However, it is a habit akin to drugs.  Fortunately, I was able to quit relatively quickly.

I would recommend it to guys who can't seem to take a first step.  Get past the mystery.

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On 6/13/2019 at 6:00 PM, Victimorthecrime said:

Ever notice how no one ever even questions why porn is completely open and free to anyone, even children, on the internet?  Whose decision was this and why is it never challenged?  Especially in this day & age of hypersensitivity about nearly everything.  To me it speaks to powerful people somewhere having an agenda but that's just my opinion.  

There were strong attempts to stop the growth of porn when the internet was young.  I seem to remember, in particular, a Senator Exon trying to stop it, but getting almost no support.

Right or wrong, too late now.  I think hard core stuff is illegal in China,.

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On 6/14/2019 at 12:52 AM, EricDavis222 said:

So even though I have a small penis, and was very shy (especially when I was younger), once I was sort of forced into dating a woman, I did ok for the most part. I want guys here to try harder than I did. I gave up on myself too easily to ask someone out. And I'm kicking myself BIG TIME for it. Don't be a 60-year-old-loser like me. PLEASE!!

Something to keep in mind is that men do not have equal drives to meet women and have sex.  We should not be too hard on ourselves as that only makes things worse.

You can't stop high testosterone men from pursuing women with a team of horses.  As can easily be observed, such men don't care if they make fools of themselves.  Their drive for women and sex rules their behavior.

Condemning ourselves because we can't be like such men makes us feel worse and even less assertive.  Frankly, we can't compete with men looking for women impressed by such men.

We need to pursue more reserved, shy type women.  I don't think dating sites/ apps work for us.  We need to find compatible women by being active in groups and activities where such women might be.

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