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Guest GingerSnap

So, I Just Have To Say It

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Guest GingerSnap

I think the first thing to point out is that there are people like me that believe that sex should be reserved at a minimum to those in a serious, very serious relationship and my beliefs were for the most part in keeping the laws of God. These ideas changed after entering the military and seeing what this "casual" sex did to people and relationships, marriages, etc. I was actually horrified at what I have read on the forum concerning it to be a great way to release stress, like if you feel anxious just go grab a partner and.......:eek: I think a lot of pressure is put on individuals that have religious convictions about not having sex for the sake of "releasing tension", "fun" (what happened to our concern about AIDS), - get a hobby or what about sports. This heavy hint that one might have mental issues, people problems, whatever someone wants to term it just because they aren't having sex, is just nothing but wrong and inappropriate. Yes, of course, there are people who have serious issues or even minor ones that stand in their way of having sex but that is not the norm. (maybe this will serve to help those people sort out their issues or not) One should not be made to feel that their is something wrong with them mentally if they are not sexually active. I was a virgin until age 21 and my older son was a virgin until 27 as I preached "it is not to die for!!!!" - he is happily married to that woman for over 6 years now. I do think this topic plagues many people especially younger people. With the exception of those few that have sexual issues for whatever reason, a sexual relationship will come much easier than what you think when you feel secure in the relationship with that partner - merging of two souls versus whatever to heck that is where you are just releasing tension. While this topic may make some uncomfortable (there are more than a couple of topics I totally avoid), I don't think it would be fair not to have it available. And, to avoid the subject just because it might cause controversy, well, maybe Mark would like to make this forum about meditation only - I suppose that could spark some controversy too. And, sex is not to die for!

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Hmm... I never understood the idea of approaching sexuality from a religious standpoint. Then again, I'm an atheist, so the thought of trying to impress some big imaginary pervert in the sky who watches me poop, but won't even spot me a new roll of toilet paper if I run out... Just irritating.

I was a virgin until 27 by choice, but I did it because I wanted it to mean something to someone someday. Well, turns out it meant nothing. I slept with the girl I was in love with (not a virgin), and after about a year, she decided she wanted someone more aggressive that would toss her around and probably wear leather masks or something.

Sex is just sex. It's like... a back rub. Or a foot massage. They're all pleasurable, and all require someone else. Like all things in that category, it's more enjoyable if you can connect at a deeper level, but... Hell, I'd even take a foot rub from Glen Beck right about now. If I could go back to my late teens and do it all over again, I'd have lots of sex. Well, maybe not lots, but I certainly wouldn't have waited for some imaginary woman that never showed up.

I would like to have some again in the future, but probably won't because I'm practically disabled with exhaustion from CFS. I have 0 social life. I almost never leave my home. Such is life.

"Virginity. It's great until you realize it's not." That's my new slogan right thar.

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I think the big guy who's watching you poop may be trying to teach you the important lesson that we all need to go out and get our own toilet paper, in life. ;-)

You say you waited "because [you] wanted it to mean something to someone someday." So, okay, it didn't mean something to the girl, and I'm sorry about that: it must have hurt. But I still think it meant something to someone: you.

My "first" didn't turn out to be much of a treasure, either. Interestingly, mine was also just a stand-in for something I had imagined. Then I married her. Funny how people refuse to conform to what we hope for. But the only thing you can do, in the long run, is to be true to your own feelings. You can't make them be true to theirs.

Personally, I don't think this forum is meant to encourage people to lose their virginity; quite the opposite. I think it's here to help people resist peer pressure, in any direction. Instead, it's up to each of us to examine what we want, and why we want it, and then to stick to our decisions, as the only form of principle that any human gets.

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lol - Well... I was just trying to be nice! In addition to watching me run out of toilet paper, he's also watching kids starve to death and people murder each other in "His" name. :D I suppose that's his way of saying "get your own food" and "don't stand in front of moving bullets".

LOL EITHER WAY... Based on his track record, I certainly won't be taking any of his advice :P

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Also -As for meaning something to me, it no longer does - It only makes me angry. I had good intentions, but I made the wrong decision. I learned that real life is not a fairy tale, and now that I'm sleeping and sick all the time, I really wish I had taken advantage of all that time to meet and have relationships with women.

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I hear you: I write fairy tales, but I don't recommend waiting for them to come true. I recommend going out and making them come true! :-)

With a deity or without, more gets done if we're working on it, too.

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I would like to have some again in the future, but probably won't because I'm practically disabled with exhaustion from CFS. I have 0 social life. I almost never leave my home. Such is life.

Do you have cystic fibrosis? I am wondering what CFS stands for. Anyway, I am sorry that your condition interferes with your daily functioning so much. By the way, your description of God watching you poop was quite amusing. :rolleyes:

Catmom

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I've pretended that I've had sex, to appear normal. But to tell the truth, I've never been interested in sex, I don't understand the appeal of it to be.

I wish I could say the same thing. It would make it a lot more tolerable that I am not getting any sex and probably won't any time soon.

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I just wanted to be in love when I lost my virginity. I never thought that it would never happen... It seems like everyone is falling in love constantly every time I turn around. I have all of these guys interests, I like video games, martial arts, comic books, and superhero movies... I thought I was a bit of a catch... but here I am a twenty six year old female virgin.

And no one is willing to wait and give me a chance to be comfortable with them. I was horrified to hear about this third date rule. If you hang out with someone three times, you barely even consider yourself friends with them, and I'm expected to have sex by then?

Edited by somebody25

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I heard about "the 3 date rule" as well on TV.. didn't know if it was true or not. TV hypes all of the wrong things. But I do know making it such a casual experience in society has made dating far more difficult than it should be.

I feel much like you do except I'm a man. I feel like I don't fit in with most people and I'm not sure why. According to what I hear I should be a "good catch" I have money and a house that is paid for, no kids, I'm caring, loyal. Unlike most guys I'm in touch with my emotions.. maybe too much lol.

Things women say they are looking for. I don't know why I have such a hard time finding someone or connecting with most people. Maybe I try too hard.. I just don't know. I feel broken.. like my life is broken. I'm in my early 30s I don't know what to do, how to fix things.. and I feel like I'm running out of time..

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One big issue for me is I am a 31 year rookie at all of this.

I really need help learning about dating, even meeting women.. but at my age it isn't like you can just ask someone lol.

I don't even know where to meet new people..

I even tried dating sites for a bit which was a total disaster.

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Wow that 3rd date rule is a bit full on! :S Anyone who tried that on me would be getting a bunch of fives! Hahaha

All i can say to you both (randomperson and somebody) is that... the people around you must be impared or something! Haha. You both seem like nice people.

Randomperson. Why not ask some one, what have you got to lose? I assume you have mates that are dating or married? How did they get together? Maybe you can glean some tips? You certainly are NOT running out of time, you're only 31! My goodness you've got at least 70 years left to sweep a girl off her feet!

What do you do with your self? Do you work? Hobbies?

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I am an atheist and I didn't have sex until I was 26. I would not say by choice exactly, but for me sex is part of a serious relationship. Just seems to be intrinsic to my nature.

I think sex is a natural function and we all have different takes on it. If people enjoy having sex with casual people then I have no issue with that. They need to take steps to be safe, but other that that is their choice. Having sex with others when in a relationship to me is wrong unless both partners agree, then again it is up to them.

I try not to judge people.

Waiting

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Wow that 3rd date rule is a bit full on! :S Anyone who tried that on me would be getting a bunch of fives! Hahaha

All i can say to you both (randomperson and somebody) is that... the people around you must be impared or something! Haha. You both seem like nice people.

Randomperson. Why not ask some one, what have you got to lose? I assume you have mates that are dating or married? How did they get together? Maybe you can glean some tips? You certainly are NOT running out of time, you're only 31! My goodness you've got at least 70 years left to sweep a girl off her feet!

What do you do with your self? Do you work? Hobbies?

Thank you. You are very kind. lol I have to say I am a little relieved about that 3 date rule seeming to not be true.

Biggest problem for me is meeting women. ..I tried the dating sites and they really are not for me.. I come off all wrong on them and honestly they make me very nervous and hurt my self esteem even more. I did have a few dates out of the hundreds of women I wrote haha. But either it wasn't a good match or I was too nervous and honestly messed it up.

I work in a very small company that suggests no dating in the workplace.

Two of my married friends met in another state, but most of my friends are guys, most of them have been in relationships but are having trouble finding anyone themselves as well now. I just don't know where to meet single women that would be willing to give me a chance or how to even approach them..

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