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sanesomeday

Small Penis AND Gay?

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I'm wondering if anyone out there is a gay/bisexual male dealing with small penis syndrome? Most of the conversations out there are about difficulties of having relationships with females. I know that it is common to think that the "grass is greener," but I'm sure there are different challenges in dealing with small penis syndrome in relationships with other men. I'm interested to hear folks' thoughts.

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Guest ASchwartz

Hellosamesomeday,

Yes, the issue of "small penis" is just as painful for gay men as it is for heterosexual men. Sex and body image have nothing to do with sexual orientation. The dynamics are the same. In fact, for a gay man, where appearance is even more important, the small penis issue may feel even worse, although I don't see how.

Allan

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I noticed that there is a member called Curtailed, and that he posted in this thread, of all the threads he could have posted in. It made me wonder if he'd chosen the name Curtailed, because he had a curt "tail" himself.

I noticed that there is a member called John ALLMAN, and that he posted in this thread, of all the threads he could have posted in. It made me wonder if he'd chosen the name Allman, because he is "all man" himself.

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I'm wondering if anyone out there is a gay/bisexual male dealing with small penis syndrome? Most of the conversations out there are about difficulties of having relationships with females. I know that it is common to think that the "grass is greener," but I'm sure there are different challenges in dealing with small penis syndrome in relationships with other men. I'm interested to hear folks' thoughts.
I'm gay with SPS.

I personally think SPS is trickier for a gay man because gay culture tends to be extremely obsessed with penis size and most gay men I know seem to love to tell you about every large penis they've ever seen, blah, blah.

It's also trickier being in bed with another man because if he has a larger penis, it will probably be impossible to not notice...As such, I'm obsessed with comparing myself in bed with another man and it almost always leaves me feeling terrible. (the obvious answer is to not fixate on it, but if you can do that, you probably don't have SPS and so you wouldn't be here anyway)...

All that said, I have met quite a few gay men that really don't seem to care about penis size. I'm one of those people...and sure, I have a small tool, but even if I didn't, I would hope that I would be more sensitive about poking fun at another guy for something he has no control over.

Any particular issues or just curious?

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Guest ASchwartz

Hi John,

I agree with Nessie, although I suspect that it might be more of an issue for gay men who put such a premium on appearance. In other words, the issue would not be actual size but appearance.

What do you, Nessie and others think?

Allan

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In my experience, appearance (attractiveness, fashion sense, muscular body, etc.) and penis size are two different issues.

Example, I remember a casual friend telling me about his new boyfriend..."well, he really has as a small penis but he works out a lot so he really makes up for it in other areas". So yeah, two different issues...As an aside, what a weird way to talk about about your boyfriend!

I guess if you have either one or both, I think you would find that you have some nice dating options.

FWIW, though, I'm finding I hate gay culture so I stay away...I'm meeting what I would call more "normal" people now which seems to be healthier. So there are options, you just have to look because it's not necessarily easy to get connected to it.

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I am gay with a foot in both worlds, (gay and straight) and I feel that your take on this sensitive issue depends on the angle you come at it. In other words, I’ve talked to many average straight and gay men and it seems that both sides (GENERALLY speaking) love sex, and are not usually looking for a committed, loving relationship. No, they want raw, kinky, highly stimulating and gratifying sex with no strings attached. Men are men! Many, (on both sides) sometimes refer to "ltr," which I used to interpret in old-fashioned terms as meaning "Longterm committed, loving relationship," but I soon found out it generally means "some sexual arrangement of several weeks or more". So there are 2 relationship worlds: One based almost solely on sex parts and kinkyness; the other on Love. For those subscribing to the former, your penis will be treated like an object; graded on length, girth etc.. If it doesn’t measure up, you will…coldly be rejected. On the other hand, when a guy/gal or guy/guy come at it from a love and commitment perspective, the penis attributes are irrelevant. No kidding!

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Interesting as I am straight and work with a gay guy whom I have become great friends and sometimes unfortunately over the years has become a little too comfortable around me and will often tell me great deatails of some of his sexual adventures. An over riding theme of his stories is that he loves loves loves it when he scores a date with a big cock. What is really interesting about this guy is that he has told me he is exclusively a top and yet he has no greater disappointment than when he gets with a man with a small cock. It's funny that this bothers me as much as the females in which I work who say the same thing.

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Interesting as I am straight and work with a gay guy whom I have become great friends and sometimes unfortunately over the years has become a little too comfortable around me and will often tell me great deatails of some of his sexual adventures. An over riding theme of his stories is that he loves loves loves it when he scores a date with a big cock. What is really interesting about this guy is that he has told me he is exclusively a top and yet he has no greater disappointment than when he gets with a man with a small cock. It's funny that this bothers me as much as the females in which I work who say the same thing.

i have heard gay friends decry small dicks but it doesnt bother me any where near as much as when women do it.

In my experience women do it more frequently too.

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Victim, I wouldn't know as I am ashamed of my body. I have only had sex with two people and they were both women. If I were average when flaccid it might be a different story. Being tall also doesn't help as I think people assume I'm proportioned.

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Guest RandomDude

I wouldn't know anything about being gay, but I reckon flaccid size is for some dudes most of the main problem with SPS.

In my own case I'm about 5 inch length (not bone press) or about 6 underneath and 5 inch girth. It's not exactly impressive, but quite honestly I think I'd be 100% cool about it if I were a shower - like if I would be 4 inch flaccid.

My problem is I'm a grower so I'm 2-3 inch flaccid (varying through the day.) It's what fucking bothers me :(

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Guest RandomDude

RandomDude, what has your experience been like with sexual partners? I have similar overall "properties", you could say, but it has just not been a problem with women I've been with.

Well I haven't ever been complimented for size but then I haven't been told it's too small either. So it's a neutral area you could say.

I think there are size queens who could give me a hard time, but I wouldn't want to be with someone like that anyway, so it doesn't bother me to be honest. The problem is 99.9% in my mind I'd say. The only thing that really pisses me off is the thought of having to drop my trunks in a medical situation. If I would be nervous, etc, and could have shrinkage that could be totally fucking humiliating I suppose :(

Like I say, if I would be 4 inch flaccid I would be totally at peace with my erect size.

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Well I haven't ever been complimented for size but then I haven't been told it's too small either. So it's a neutral area you could say.

I think there are size queens who could give me a hard time, but I wouldn't want to be with someone like that anyway, so it doesn't bother me to be honest. The problem is 99.9% in my mind I'd say. The only thing that really pisses me off is the thought of having to drop my trunks in a medical situation. If I would be nervous, etc, and could have shrinkage that could be totally fucking humiliating I suppose :(

Like I say, if I would be 4 inch flaccid I would be totally at peace with my erect size.

Completely agree that a 4 inch flaccid would sort a lot of my fears out. having a 2-3 inch soft one means that I'm not 'ok' with the size until it's fully erect

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Well I haven't ever been complimented for size but then I haven't been told it's too small either. So it's a neutral area you could say.

I think there are size queens who could give me a hard time, but I wouldn't want to be with someone like that anyway, so it doesn't bother me to be honest. The problem is 99.9% in my mind I'd say. The only thing that really pisses me off is the thought of having to drop my trunks in a medical situation. If I would be nervous, etc, and could have shrinkage that could be totally fucking humiliating I suppose :(

Like I say, if I would be 4 inch flaccid I would be totally at peace with my erect size.

Completely agree that a 4 inch flaccid would sort a lot of my fears out. having a 2-3 inch soft one means that I'm not 'ok' with the size until it's fully erect

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