Luna- Posted May 7, 2011 Report Share Posted May 7, 2011 Sorry I've been absent from this thread for a few days: I have just started a new job and am on a horribly steep learning curve so it takes all my attention. Just wanted you to know it's not because of anything you've done. Remember you were only going to do this once in a while ...? It seems that even just once in a while seems to open the floodgates to more and all too soon you seem to be back where you started ... Can you identify what it is about being back on drugs that is unpleasant? In other words, what would help motivate you to stay away from drugs?Thinking of you, starfish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 PoLuna, thanks for the message, it was kind of you to take the time to write to me. I hope things are going well with your new job, I'm sure you will learn quick. Nurses are special people, I believe it's a calling to be a nurse, good luck with it Luna . I'm struggling to keep my eyes open right now so I'll have to write more tomorrow after I've slept. I haven't slept in two nights. I went out last night and did more bad stuff but I'm done now. My cousin even offered to go get more for me, I said no, I feel strung out , I don't like the feeling.Okay, really can't keep the eyes open,, will writemore tomorrow , I will try to be as honest as possible with you andmyself.Good night finally! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted May 8, 2011 Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Smallstar,I'm worried about you and I am sure I am not the only one. I feel worried because of your drugs and alcohol. Are you getting any help with this?Allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 8, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2011 Hi allan. Yes, I am getting help. But really it has to come from me. Today is once again day one. Trying to stay positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ASchwartz Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 Glad to hear you are getting help. And yes, one day at a time.Allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 there's no more day one. I don't know when there will be another. I have screwed up and I don't know how to stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malign Posted May 9, 2011 Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 You stop by telling people, starry.You knew that back when you promised that you would, if it got out of your control again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2011 yup. I have been thinking about it. NOt sure how to go about it. Thinking I might have them come in to my therapist with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2011 I know this will probably sound like a stupid idea to most, but I think it may be the only way. I am thinking that after next week if I have to tell my parents I need rehab again, I will get drunk first. It's not a terrible idea, is it? I know it's not ideal, but it would get the job done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 I think it's a terrible idea, starfish. I think it will really hurt your parents to see you in that state. Is it to work up the courage to tell them?- poLuna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallstar Posted May 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 Luna, I can understand why it's not ideal but what if it's necessary? Meaning the only way I could tell them? Yes, it's for liquid courage.I'm just worried that it's gonna come down telling them. Things aRen't great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna- Posted May 12, 2011 Report Share Posted May 12, 2011 {{{{starry}}}} You do what you have to do ...It does look to me like drugs aren't something you can do "once in a while". Seems it's all or nothing. It's a "fly now, pay later" thing and sooner or later you do have to pay ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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