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Guest ASchwartz

Coping With a Mentally Ill Loved-One

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Guest ASchwartz

This is an important forum but no one has been posting here in a long time. I do not know why because having to cope with mental illness that a loved one has is very difficult and all too common. I know that this stirs lots of despair, confusion, anxieties, worries and questions.

Lets here from all of you.

Allan

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I am surrounded with people who have a diagnosed mental illness, my mother for one, two of my friends at school and my bf sister. They make it hard to have a normal conversation with them without them getting up set and over reacting half the time. For instance I came into school and seeing that my friend was upset I asked what was wrong she said she got a two hundred dollar fine, I asked for what then she got so angry she attacked her locker kicked her book bag destroyed her lunch and broke her head phones all because I asked why. And what was I suppose to? how is one suppose to react to that? She scares me when she gets like that because she reminds me of my father just before he would hit me.

So does anyone have any advise on what is the proper way to act in that situation?

Also Allan people may not comment as much because it may be a difficult topic for some, or that it is just so far down on the forum list :(

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Chisa,

Can you tell us a bit more about what's happening, for you?

I know that, in that situation and depressed, "it's shit" probably sums it up neatly.

The thing is, summing it up doesn't let us in, at all. Can you divide it into smaller chunks, and process them individually?

For instance, like 'sedsed', do you have to deal with fear for your personal safety, with your brother? Is there a history of violence?

What I think is hardest, for a caregiver who was raised along with a mentally ill person, is that not only do you have the ill person's issues to deal with, it seems likely that the caregiver's own development may not have been ideal ... Do you have support (and protection from violence), for yourself?

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Well I just need to comment about something. This whole post is difficult to resond because WHAT IF you ARE the one who is mentally ill? What if you already are away of the fact that your biological family is riddled with mental illness? Every single brother has a problem , some are far more severe , and even have been in trouble with the law. Lawbreakers, drugs , drinking , behaving like a fool acting crazy, getting locked up in jail or a mental hospital. Aggressive behaviors , Violent , either toward others of like me, towards oneself. Since they are my brothers , they are mainly Violent towards others , which have resulted in serious Felony arrests. Their is only one brother that is halfway decent human being, However he too has some serious issues.

NOW, the root of these problems can be traced as to when we wer every young and were abused badly , with the father playing mind games , locking up in closets , and generally Bad parenting, nelgect, physically harmful too. But being the only girl , I was spared , only to witness it . And not all the way spared though... Now the father is dead, dead befor age 60. the biologial mother is a heavy drinker, and lives in all different places all the time. We actually put her in jail , and then an older brother too. It was very bad.

SO mental illness runs in your family? Nature vrs, nuture? Why have my brothers had to suffer so much as adults and children? Their is way too much trauma. It is like the trauma never ends too. It feels like a cycle. Sadly the younger brother did have his own child, a beautiful little girl, my niece. But he is so messed up they took her away. OMG, history really does repeat itself. So now it is like anther little girl is lost. Hopefully she will be ok though in a foster home? It never was good for me. Their is way to much sadness and anger. No wonder that I tend to isolate from the world. The only way to sustain myself is to disappear.

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Mental illness is a trick of the mind. It is propaganda, designed to influence you to pay for medication. Physical illness is the real problem. All of the so called mental illnesses, are merely physical illnesses. Anything mental can be overcome, with Love and acceptance. It may take a while, but medication only makes you feel like the pain is gone. Just like headaches. Headaches go away by themselves when the problem is solved. All the medicine does is "temporarily" modify the chemicals in your body. So later if you still have the headache, which has happened before, then the problem is not solved. More medication will not help, seek proper assistance. Best help for emotional problems such as: Anger and depression, is LOVE. Period.

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