soregretful Posted October 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2011 But that is just what I don't get....how could most people just let that go? How would they NOT think about going on a site like that? I mean its not like I don't feel like crap about going on there....though I did not see anything out of the ordinary. No nudity. I want to know how you would not think about it. What's wrong with me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted October 28, 2011 Report Share Posted October 28, 2011 u are obsesse, think in what kids with speedos? there just kid in speedos, i see the olimpycs and i dont alarm about that or think any kind of weird stuff, im sorry but yes you got a problem and u sould treat it.If ur doctor dosent seem to be doing a good job with u change doctors find another therapist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SomethingOrOther Posted October 28, 2011 Report Share Posted October 28, 2011 You've been asking us to believe you're not a bad person from day1. The interesting question isn't whether we believe it. The interesting question is: who are you replying to when you say that?There is some differences between therapy and an appendectomy. One is an event in which the doctor does all the work. The other is an event in which being unconcious and waiting for things to magically go away works less well.What you need for redirecting your thoughts is understanding that they are thoughts. Not all thoughts can be trusted and not all of them are important at the time they come along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted October 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Maybe I am just trying to just reassure myself. I need a technique to reduce them or not address them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted October 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Maybe the trick isn't to try and stop them, but to let them happen while not acting on them (let the thoughts pass on through, but don't let it lead to negative self talk or excessive need for justification.)The thing is that they just don't seem to pass. I can get active in something but as soon as I try to relax they come soaring back. I just want them to go very far away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SomethingOrOther Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hi sr,it would make sense to reassure yourself about something you're not fully convinced of. What happens to you when the thoughts come back? Can you distance yourself from the thoughts? I would think you've had many of them plenty of times, so when the thoughts come back, it's like "hello, well, I've seen you often enough without gaining anything from it, so why would I even consider you now, really?!" Does writing them down help any, cause oftentimes things are written down, so you don't have to remember them with your head? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted October 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 I don't know. I think that writing them will strengthen the odds that I remember them. I am just sad. I feel like this will always be here. I know I can't undo anything but at the same time nothing I did was illegal. It is just the label that other people gave the site that bothers me.On another note, I no longer have a relationship with those boys. I feel so alone and sad. This depression is definitely related to to my remembering of this. Now its only worse. I feel so depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted October 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 (at the risk of being blunt...hopefully you trust me enough by now that you know I'm only trying to help.) UM...YES.That is what I am having a hard time with....I don't know how people would feel good about this or get over it. Why would it be so hard for me?I am on luvox, orap. And propranolol. I don't know what they are supposed to do. I am so screwed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrmaJean Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 SR, nothing will change for you unless you change your patterns...I am so screwed.If you truly believe this, how can you promote a positive change?You are not your thoughts, SR. Ever try meditating or going out in nature? Finding ways to calm your mind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted October 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 SR, nothing will change for you unless you change your patterns...If you truly believe this, how can you promote a positive change?You are not your thoughts, SR. Ever try meditating or going out in nature? Finding ways to calm your mind?Ok...I can accept that....so how do I change my thoguht patterns? I am trying hard at school and despite all this I am having a pretty successful school year. But I am just not happy. I don't know how to stop thinking of urls. If I could just feel like the sites weren't that bad I may feel better. I love boys...not sexually. I wanted to have one when I started dating....can I get there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SomethingOrOther Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Oh, my bad. I thought the odds of remembering them are currently 100%. I remember that your therapist asked you to journal stuff. The beauty of writing them down is that the second, third and fourth time you have a thought, you can give them a counting dash. If I was a thought that would piss me off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted October 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Oh, my bad. I thought the odds of remembering them are currently 100%. I remember that your therapist asked you to journal stuff. The beauty of writing them down is that the second, third and fourth time you have a thought, you can give them a counting dash. If I was a thought that would piss me off. Had to smile a little at that one. I don't understand the point of the journaling but I am willing to try anything. I just want to fell happy again. Its been so long. I don't know why I did what I di...accident or whatever. I am really a nice guy though. I am not a threat to kids. My girlfriend wants to have one with me. I just am having a hard time taking care of myself. I want to get better so bad...bottom line is most people would be repulsed by my actions. I know I am. Why aren't any of u? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted October 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Oh, my bad. I thought the odds of remembering them are currently 100%. I remember that your therapist asked you to journal stuff. The beauty of writing them down is that the second, third and fourth time you have a thought, you can give them a counting dash. If I was a thought that would piss me off. Had to smile a little at that one. I don't understand the point of the journaling but I am willing to try anything. I just want to fell happy again. Its been so long. I don't know why I did what I di...accident or whatever. I am really a nice guy though. I am not a threat to kids. My girlfriend wants to have one with me. I just am having a hard time taking care of myself. I want to get better so bad...bottom line is most people would be repulsed by my actions. I know I am. Why aren't any of u? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SomethingOrOther Posted November 1, 2011 Report Share Posted November 1, 2011 At least you're smiling a little. :-) I hope taking care of yourself will get easier with time or with practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 I am still puzzled about an ocd diagnosis. Why is that what I have? I also asked about luvox....it is supposed to do something with seratonin. It can take up to 3 months to start working...so I am going to try to be diligent about taking it. I want to move on with my life. My psychiatrist said I have to let go....still working on a way to do that...but I am open for suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SomethingOrOther Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 I'm not going to be here for much longer. I want to say that I'm glad you keep working at getting better and wish you well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted November 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2011 Well its off to a bed and breakfast with the girl I want to be with in my heart. Do I just try to take the next step? I don't know. Any thoughts on hypnotherapy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted November 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2011 I just want to get past this. I love my job, I want to be with my girlfriend who has been very patient with me, and have children. All of the pieces are there. Can a memory stop me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted November 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2011 Still do not understand the OCD diagnosis. Why is what I have OCD? Am I understanding that normal people would not be affected by this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musicman Posted November 7, 2011 Report Share Posted November 7, 2011 Still do not understand the OCD diagnosis. Why is what I have OCD? Am I understanding that normal people would not be affected by this?I wouldn't say that others wouldn't be affected by your scenario. However, others wouldn't take it to such an extreme as you have. On an individual basis, some may feel guilt, and some may not. What differentiates them from you is that they just live with what they did, and not let it destroy what could be a happy life. Easier said then done, as I made some VERY BAD past mistakes. I know it can be hard to live them down. You have OCD because these thoughts are overtaking you.I'm sorry if this has already been mentioned (haven't been here much lately), but since you first came here, I've felt that your obsession with speedos also stemmed from an OCD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted November 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 9, 2011 I wouldn't say that others wouldn't be affected by your scenario. However, others wouldn't take it to such an extreme as you have. On an individual basis, some may feel guilt, and some may not. What differentiates them from you is that they just live with what they did, and not let it destroy what could be a happy life. Easier said then done, as I made some VERY BAD past mistakes. I know it can be hard to live them down. You have OCD because these thoughts are overtaking you.And I know that the people who put up these sites are those people. But how the heck do I esacpte these thoughts? I just feel right now that a happy life is so hard to achieve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musicman Posted November 10, 2011 Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 And I know that the people who put up these sites are those people. But how the heck do I esacpte these thoughts? I just feel right now that a happy life is so hard to achieve.I'm not scared to admit that when I'm in a particularly bad place, I'll sometimes use the types of sites that have caused you so much stress. For some, they may do it for the hell of doing it. Personally, I only use them when I think I'm going to slip and do worse. People don't choose their attractions, and so long as they don't act on them or view illegal pornography, they are good at heart. To the normal world, these sites are immoral and absolutely disgusting. To those that use them as a means to avoid doing worse, they can be helpful to say the least. Should I feel guilty for using these sites? Why or why not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted November 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 I'm not scared to admit that when I'm in a particularly bad place, I'll sometimes use the types of sites that have caused you so much stress. For some, they may do it for the hell of doing it. Personally, I only use them when I think I'm going to slip and do worse. People don't choose their attractions, and so long as they don't act on them or view illegal pornography, they are good at heart. To the normal world, these sites are immoral and absolutely disgusting. To those that use them as a means to avoid doing worse, they can be helpful to say the least. Should I feel guilty for using these sites? Why or why not?If it is preventing you from doing worse, then I wouldn't feel as bad. Me....I don't intend to do any worse so this makes me feel pretty guilty. I am not trying to judge anyone...its just that why wouldn't the world be right to feel disgusted by these sites? And I just looked at speedo kids and read stories. But because I think that what I did would be viewed as immoral by the public, why shouldn't I feel guilty? The content I viewed is not pedophilic in itself. However when the world is telling you a pedophile would enjoy looking at the sites the content was on....how are u supposed to feel? I was wondering what your mom had said about hypnotherapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soregretful Posted November 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2011 So anyone have any input as to why the authors od these sites feel great and I feel awful? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppursimuove Posted November 15, 2011 Report Share Posted November 15, 2011 what was these post about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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