AmyeH Posted January 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2012 I desperately don't want to live, yet I desperately don't want to die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana73 Posted January 17, 2012 Report Share Posted January 17, 2012 Amy,Life is so precious and you are so young. Please keep yourself safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyeH Posted January 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2012 Thanks.Trying my best.My insomnia came back 2 weeks ago and I've been having a real hard time. They've tried all sleep meds on me and the best I sleep is from 11pm to 2am max. (Early wake ups). They've put me on Seroquel, a few days back and I'm already up to 300mg. The psychiatrist gave me the impression that 50mg or 100mg would do the trick with my sleeping, but it made no difference at all. So now I took 150mg last night (no difference) and I am taking 300mg tonight. Now she's telling me that they're not just using it to help my sleep but are using it as a mood stabilizer to treat Major Depression. I am also on 60mg Prozac.Just losing the fight to continue on. This is a nightmare I'm still waiting to wake up from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted January 17, 2012 Report Share Posted January 17, 2012 hey Amy - try hang in there if you can hun keep fighting hun, please. things might get easier hope they sort out yer meds soon hun.take caresue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyeH Posted January 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2012 Thanks Sue.Well, I'm totally shot right now. Dosed up on anti anxiety medications (benzos) and the 300mg of Seroquel - I can hardly string a sentence together and talk, let alone type without going back a hundred times correcting my mistakes.So I'm totally numbed out. Numb. Maybe this is what they wanted to do to me. And maybe I should be happy that this has happened. I just want to be numb so I feel nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyeH Posted January 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 Well, I've been feeling like I'm stoned all day and I'm not complaining. I've been feeling totally calm and chilled. I slept 6 solid hours without walking up. It was good. Can I expect to carry on feeling like this or is it just for the first few days whilst my body adjusts to the medication? Thx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 yep - know wanting to be numbed out - really well. actually its where im at today. too much meds and peacefullt numbed out. huh, maybe thats all they do in hospitals these days - drug you up so ya cant create mischeif or problems idk.anyhow, hope that despite the numbness that things are going as ok(ish) as possible Take Care Amy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyeH Posted January 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 Hi Sue,I'm doing OK thank you.If I continue on like this then I'll be happy. I still feel really relaxed and calm, like I'm stoned or something. I keep stumbling on words and it's like my mouth is a bit numb, but I'm happy with it. I feel relaxed and at ease. My psychiatrist says that these side effects last only a number of days, so I'd better make the most of it whilst I can! How are you doing? Still in hospital? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lana73 Posted January 18, 2012 Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 Oh.... sweetie, being numb is not good Are you sure they are not overdosing you?We are here for you, please keep fighting, Girl.Big hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyeH Posted January 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2012 Thank you for your concern Lana.It's not really a feeling of being numb... but just very relaxed physically and mentally. I guess that that could count for being numb also, but OK, it's a good numb and not a bad one.The nurse said that it's side effects that should wear off within a few days. Damn!! I want to stay like this!!!I'm only on Prozac 60mg and now the Seroquel 300mg and I take 2 Immovane to help me sleep too. Hopefully the Seroquel can help me out with the sleep too so then I won't need to take the two sleeping pills. My psychiatrist has first given me the impression that the Seroquel was going to be given at a small dosage of 25-50mg to just help me sleep, but 3 days later, I was on 300mg!! So now she's saying that it's being used as an add on for the depression and also as a mood stabiliser. She said we can go up to 600mg on it, but I of course want to take as less as possible so I'll stand firm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetSue Posted January 19, 2012 Report Share Posted January 19, 2012 Hey Amy yeah Im still in hospital hun - with no sign of a discharge date any time soon I gotta say its driving me insane being in here Hope your body and mind get a chance to relax whilst you still have the numbness take caresue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyeH Posted January 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2012 I know the feeling about being on hospital driving you crazy. I desire contact with 'normal' people and to not have to see and hear about bad things happening on the ward. The list of things could go on. What's tough for you? Do you get visitors? That's what I'm lacking too. It's 4.30am and I slept four and a half hours. Still not good enough. The psychiatrist tried to move the Seroquel to 600mg from 300mg but I didn't take it. I was taking 300mg at 4pm but by 6pm I felt totally stoned on it. Could hardly talk I was slurring so much. I think I'll try 600mg at 8pm. We'll see. I'll speak with my doc in the morning. How long have you been in sue? Do you feel better for it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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