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humbem

The dreaded small penis... how to keep confidence (and girlfriend)?

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I was reading other posts about this, and wanted to reply directly to ask a question/chime in, but I'm stuck with this "new members" forum. I'm 30 years old and recently found an AWESOME girlfriend. We've been together for 2 months and it's been great. We have everything in common and I think we can both sit around doing nothing and still be happy together. That said, my penis is pretty pathetic measuring in at 4-1/2 inches long and 4-1/2 inches around (the small girth is the most troubling). I'm a very athletic person and would consider myself quite attractive despite the penis issue. Anyway, long story short, we finally had sex last week and I didn't feel much of anything. I'm guessing the experience was mutually bland for her. I was able to get her hot and bothered with my fingers before the act (though I'm thinking she didn't get off), and she's still talking to me, so I think there's hope that it may last for at least a bit longer. In my experience, however, most women will just move on (I've been laughed at before). I've had sex with one other girl when I was 24, and that wasn't so bad because she had a very tight vagina. The current girlfriend has a much larger vagina. I'm not sure we work well together physically, which sucks. Anyway, the realization of her large vagina has me ridiculously depressed because I'm pretty sure we won't work and I REALLY like this girl. She's perfect :P Any other "small" dudes have advice on being confident despite lacking in the penis department? I haven't been able to focus on anything all week and am dreading the next time we have sex because I fear it could be the last. Also of note, my work is suffering and I've dropped 10 pounds due to anxiety. I like this girl so much that it's killing me to know that something out of our control could derail such a great relationship. HELP!!! PLEASE!!!

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Also of note: any advice on how to remain confident despite knowing you're not packing much would be greatly appreciated. Women love confidence, and my confidence is pretty terrible after finding out about her dimensions. I need to keep the confidence up, though, or I have no chance :P

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If this woman truly cares about YOU then she's not going to be bothered by the size of your thingy. There's more to life than sex.

If a woman doesn't love you as much as you love her then it's time to move on.

There's guys out there that are less fortunate than you. Head over to the Wikipedia and type in "micro penis syndrome" to see what I mean.

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I understand that I'm more fortunate than like 5-10% of men. I also understand that there's more to life than sex. That's still no consolation for the fact that sex may not be enjoyable for us due to physical incompatibility. We both like each other A LOT, so I'm sure we'll be together for a while. We could even be together for life. Unfortunately, though, the sex may not be good no matter what we do, which is a shame. Anyway, I think I'm over this. There's nothing I can do, so I just have to accept that it's the way things are. Just sucks is all (and is making me crazy having to deal with it). I just wish I didn't have to add "small vagina" onto the checklist when trying to find a partner. It's hard enough finding a girl without having to worry about the size of their vagina, which you can obviously never know until you're emotionally invested and are set up for heartbreak over something that you can't fix :P It's just depressing...

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Hum,

You should be set to post wherever you like, once you log in again. If not, let us know.

One thing I would point out is that you're making a lot of assumptions about the future. If she's worth the effort, she's worth the risk of being open with her and telling her about your fears.

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I think we all have our insercurities humbem, even if there not seen. Keeping an open mind sexually and not putting so much pressure on yourself for that one time is a good place to start. I know thats easier said than done.

Sex should be fun!! It can get better.

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Thanks for the advice, everyone. I really need to just get over this and enjoy myself. That's the most important thing. If I don't do that it won't matter the size of my penis... my lack of confidence is going to be a huge turnoff. I'm thinking I'll forego being completely open with her about it because I'd imagine the vulnerability and lack of masculinity of my worries will be a turnoff. The only thing getting me now is that I'm finding that I'm getting so anxious that my little guy is not working as well as it should :P Stupid brain... ignorance truly is bliss. Anyway, I'm gonna go hang out with the girlfriend now. Wish me luck!!!

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If she doesnt see something in you, or feel something the way you do, and want to grow together... would you really have a chance with her anyway?

Its tough being vunerable with someone, but I dont think being vunerable makes you not masculine. I would say it takes courage to do that.

But being comfortable with yourself, and knowing who you are is something I think we have to find on our own though.(Im not talking about being against therapy, if you thought that might be an option. I dont have any personal experience with that, but I certainly dont feel negative towards it, or trying it:o)...

Good luck with her tonight!!:(

Edited by CantGiveItAway

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I owe it to all of you that replied to follow up as a token of my deepest appreciation... Your comments certainly eased my mind quite a bit so thank you very much! Last week was a very difficult week for me due to all of the anxiety leading up to my Saturday night date, and you are all awesome for taking the time out of your day to send me some encouraging words! Hopefully the story will have a happy ending :(

You are all right, to an extent, that sex shouldn't be the only thing that matters in the relationship. It's still VERY important, though, so there will always be some uneasiness in the back of my mind that I'm not packing enough for her to fully enjoy sex. Obviously my mind has been getting the better of me, but things went very well this weekend. If I could just get 100% over my lack of confidence I'd be all set. As it stands, I have no reason to think that my short stature is going to ruin the relationship. I'll feel better and better as more time passes, but I guess the same can be said of most relationships. Anyway, I just hope for some newfound swagger to kick in... I am pretty awesome outside of one little detail :( Thanks again, everyone!

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I have the same issue as you, I can hardly ever feel the woman during sex. All I can suggest is working angles etc... If she likes you she will be okay with it. Have you talked to her about your size? Even if it seems like you are being underconfident by bringing it up it will be a much better expression of self confidence if you can talk about it. She will see that you are comfortable with yourself - even if you aren't ;) If you talk about it then you can work on ways to make the sex better....

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Well...this just isnt place for new found swagger here. So we all line up against the wall and talk about our lack of women who understand our little weenies and we don't know whether to tell them before the bedroom date or not.

Ooops IED!.... ahead. I mean small penis....look out ladies you ain't going to like it. I have measured it 20 times this year and it ain't growing ...

I believe in small penis syndrome. Mine is small as yalls...I have had a few problems but I will be damned if I will stop dating ( I am married but you know what I mean ) or worry if she will laugh. I have never had a woman laugh at my penis. Honestly really has a lady laughed at you ....maybe later...I am sure they did mine later. I hate hairy pussy but never laughed at one in her face...I mean hedge trimming hairy.

I like message boards...webmd. etc..but this is most negative message board ever and I feel bad because no one wants help.

The help is.....inside yourself. If your so insecure you want to give up or hide in house do it. All women aren't looking for big cocks no more than all men are looking for 38DD. Why don't you believe in yourself. The worlds full of whinny ass sissy guys.

Women are just like us...we don't want to drag home some insecure titty baby no matter what they look like. Women don't want some insecure little dick stress when the ladies chief concern is love....trust..nurture ..

I have tried to help using all kinds of stuff and they still focused on mines to small.

I think there's a lot more mental issues besides the little weenie phenomenon.

Did I tell you my little weenie made it through Buds Training. ..OMG the navy should have discharged me. At least if I got shot in groin the bullet would miss my penis....I guess tiny would be cool in that situation.

I know...I will log on tommorow and see all kinds of crap condemning me. I am laughing because thats all I can do....I wish one fucking guy would meet a lady like my wife. Its not all about sex....its about love and honesty and daily problems. We have a great sex life....yes she shaves...she puts up with my little dick but I can't stand a hairy pussy.

I don't care about my size anymore ...I wish one day...I could jack off and see the head. Lol

Enjoy yalls day

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