Too tired

[Andromeda]

Today I tried to talk again with my mother about my OCD troughts.This idea wasn t good.She become so angry and thinks I m just not stong enough and weak.Am I ?I don t know what to think.Now I feel just guilty.I make life of everybody awful.I never mean to be so bad person.

[Jenna520]

Just because your mother made you feel awful, doesn't mean you are an awful person. No one can completely understand unless they have experienced it for themselves, including your mother. I'm sorry you are lacking in support, especially from someone who should be the one to support you the most. It's frustrating and heartbreaking, I know.... but don't get wrapped up in the emotions that are caused by your mother's denial. The important thing is to focus on you, and taking care of fixing your problem. I've lacked my mother's support my whole life, at times I feel like I must be awful just because of some of the things she says, but at the end of the day, I have to remind myself that I know myself better than anyone, even my mother, and not to put too much weight into what she says. This forum helps me with the support that I don't recieve from my family and friends. People here have become like a family for me. They will welcome you with open arms too, and support you through your hardest times.

Would it help to vent some here? I'm here to listen. I'm really sorry you're struggling.

[Andromeda]

Thank you.I often have this feeling like I am all alone and nobody wants to listen.I tried sometimes to talk with my parents if they dont become angy I can see in their eyes they dont feel comfortable.This make me so ashamed and terible.I dont want people to feel bad because of me.How to explain that OCD thought cant go away when I just say stop.People around me think it s really easy

[Jenna520]

It's hard not to feel like you're alone when loved one's just don't understand or attempt to understand what is going on with you. My brother passed away May 28th of this year, and it's really affected me in ways I never thought possible. I keep "reliving" the moment I seen him there in the casket, I relive the funeral in my dreams, I have flashbacks, and there's so much more. I started seeing a psychiatrist, which my parent's didn't approve of or support. That was strike one. When I attempted to seek comfort from my mother while grieving, she told me my brother was "her only child" and she would never have a bond with me that she did with my brother. Strike two! Then when my parent's kept asking what was wrong with me, I finally told them what I had been experiencing for months, and their response was to "stop watching scary movies" and think better thoughts. Sttttrrrriiiike three! At that point, I knew I was fighting this battle alone and needed to focus on myself, even if it meant avoiding them because they were hurting me more than helping.

Are you in therapy for your OCD?

[SweetSue]

Hi Andromeda,

Were here and listening, sorry your feeling all alone

Take care

[Andromeda]

Jenna520 I hope things will become better for you.Im sorry you are feeling so bad.About therapy I write where new members post.I dont have enough money.My family have more important problems.They never will pay for something like that.I have this thoughts since I was 14.First years I didnt know this is some kind of illneses.I was too little.I just

thought I am bad person.The guilty was terrible.I was just a kid.I had no idea what to do.I was so scary.Now I know I am not so bad person but I still feel guilty time to time.

[Guest]

..................................................................................................

[Guilherme]

Just a personal opinion

i haven't been officially diagnosticated with OCD neither anxiety but after reading about it(OCD) a few days ago I think I have OCD as well, for a long time, I think about 2 to 3 years and for this whole time i didn't knew what it was until recently.

for all this time i tried to block these thoughts, and it's horrible, it keeps coming back, so over time it kept getting worse and worse, there was a time that every time the clock nearby would make a sound to alert about an hour, that was around every 15minutes I would thought it was a sign and it made me stop what i was doing because of so much fear i was feeling and it adds up, so recently i asked God to let me ignore all of this, although i had already ignored about the clock after a long period of time with that inside my head, so i did, i'm not saying it's the same as before without this, but it's much better, i decided just to ignore it all, and kept going ignoring all these fearful thoughts saying "do this or....", and other things such as when i stop doing what i used to do before like if i imagined a girl naked i would have to walk back to the point i did this and walk though it without thinking about it because i was scared if i didn't, although i did ignore all of these and a lot of things, it's not perfect, the intrusive thoughts keeps coming back all the time i sometimes i find myself thinking something without noticing.

so my advice is, ignore all of it that originates from the ocd! put it in your head that it's only hurting you emotionally and physically, don't let it mold your life and think it's just making you worse and worse every time you submit yourself to it, honestly, try to focus on something when you're doing it, like if you're watching tv, try to be focused and if it comes back, you try to keep focus but im saying about my experiences, thats it

don't take this to the letter, im no expert, im just a normal guy that feels like he's got ocd, all i said was my opinion and is only based on what i have been thought with this.

Good luck!