Confronting someone about your small penis in reality....

[Thermonuclear Warrior]

Recently I attended a party with a group of friends. One of my friends was thrown into the pool and when he got out, one of the girls shouted some nasty remark about him having a small penis. This instantly was a trigger for me. I briefly got depressed but something different happened instead.

Traditionally, you would think I'd react negatively and start feeling sorry for myself. But instead, I did something pretty unexpected. I shouted "FUCK YEAH! SMALL PENIS PRIDE!" I was also drunk while doing this, but not to the point of dissociating myself with reality. I still remember the entire evening so I was cohernet enough. I ended up outing myself to several people, some of which I found attractive.To be honest, it was fairly liberating to not feel humiliated or inferior for having a small penis. Confidently outing myself, I got a few laughs, but I realized the key point here was that I showed no signs of weakness in doing so. I notice that most of the forum members see their handicap as a weakness and that just spirals them into a further depression. I think being able to be open about this subject in real life with real people that are not psychologists, is beneficial. I think women appreciate confidence a lot. I am sure they appreciate both confidence and a large penis, but with confidence alone, I feel that I could be successful with what I have. Sure, the penetration aspect of sex will never be spectacular with my goods, but there is more to sex then penetration alone. Pornography disagrees with that philosophy, but that is why it's fantasy and not reality.

Now tne next obstacle is somehow getting this issue out in the open with my family. Not sure how I'll do that. They pu ta lot of pressure on me to meet women and procreate, but I am only recently starting to get a handle of this issue. I can't imagine how awkward it will be to tell my mother the reason why I have never brought girls home over the years...

[Bundy]

ha, that pool situation is the excact same thing that happened to a friend of mine, in fact, Ive heard about this particular scenario a couple of times.

Anyway, Im kind of inclined to agree with you there. I guess the best thing any of us could do is just be completely honest about this and not show that you are ashamed, since that is a sign that you are weak, and the moment people know that you are sensible about this, they know that you are an easy target, you know, "just dont care about it"

To be honest, I also often wonder if the best thing for me would also be "outing" myself, just let people know whats the deal with me, just get it over with. But damn, I used to lie about so much about this stuff, like telling my friends how I went to a completely different place than them and got laid there, indirectly admiting to these lies would be really embarassing.

But hey, If they actually got any perceptual skilly they should have realized this anyway. I never went to parties, never attended swimming class and was just generally very secretive in the lockers, if you add all these things, its really getting kinda obvious, lol.

Anyway, glad it worked out for you dude. Good luck with your family, something I should also think about confessing to, at least my dad, because I have the suspicion that he thinks Im gay, and me being an enthusiast of musicals and the band queen also isnt helping, haha.

[Jessie]

its been a while since I have posted here but seeing this I felt i should.

Please dont tell your parents.

It will just make them feel unhappy and guilty and there is no need.

No parent wants to know their child is going through such pain- ignorance really is bliss here.

Its possible your mothers know why you are single because they will have seen you naked as children- on the other hand they wont have seen you naked since puberty hit so may assume you 'grew up' in that genital area.

As to gay suspicions tell your dad you are going speed dating and hope to meet a wife- this will put his mind at ease and he will assume you are simply taking your time.

I know you want your confessions to be cathartic but they will likely cause much pain.

[thouroghlyunhappy]

I think it all depends on what kind of family you have and what your situation is. I told mine and everything's fine, there's no more pressure to get out and date and it's understood why I'm such a loser now---and there's even been an offer to contribute $$ to my having phalloplasty, lol. Sure, it's pathetic, but it's made things alot easier for me. Previously my mom had simply thought that I was lazy, weird, and making bad choices, but now she understands. I simply sat her down one day and said "I'm hung like a 10 year old" and explained how this has destroyed my life. At first she thought that I was pulling her leg, she was like "what about all those girls you hung out with while you were in active addiction", lol". Of course this could be embarrassing for most folks but I tend to look at life a little differently, so it wasn't that bad for me. This situation of ours is a disability and something that we can't help. Whether or not you tell them depends on your situation. If the fact that your all alone and/or dysfunctional, weird ----or whatever--- is causing problems between you and your family, or if you find them judging you as if its your fault that your such a loser ( if you are indeed a loser--some of us handle this better than others), then I'd tell them so as to clear up the misunderstanding if you think that they can handle it. Guys, our situation is no different than a guy with no legs not being able to walk, know what I mean?

HOWEVER, I wouldn't tell them if there's no need to. If you live on your own and everything seems fine on the outside, I'd keep it to myself.

[malign]

Personally, I tend to be against secrets for any reason. Because you may believe that keeping a secret is what's keeping everybody from feeling more pain, but that's because you don't know the pain they may be feeling, not knowing what's wrong and being unable to help. Because that's a secret they don't tell you ...

Believe me, any parent who cares knows when their child is in pain, even when they don't know why.

[Bundy]

As to gay suspicions tell your dad you are going speed dating and hope to meet a wife- this will put his mind at ease and he will assume you are simply taking your time.

I know you want your confessions to be cathartic but they will likely cause much pain.

You know, I love my parents, but this whole shit is kind of their fault. I mean, they decide to have me, pass down this useless gene and are actually so arrogant that they expect me to marry and have kids, like its my duty? I hate this world and people...twice as much as Hitler hated jews, why the hell should someone like me marry and have kids anyway, I wouldn't do that shit even If a wasn't hung like a kid.

Seriously, thinking about this, Its even more reason to tell them, so at least I won't be bothered by this bullshit for the rest of my life.

[Cece.dedesl]

It may not be their fault directly. If it was passed down from a grandparent or your mother's side. Neither of your parents would have ever known it was in the family pool so, cut them a little slack.

Parents just want their kids to be happy and they sometimes push their vision of happiness on to their kids. Just have a direct and non judgmental conversation with them.

[Jessie]

I say 'dont tell them'

Of course parents may already be aware of the pain but what can they do? or say?

There is no cure.

all it will do is DEEPLY affect them. They will feel shame and despondency and real pity- why break their hearts so?

and then they will have to put on a brave face and pretend they dont feel this pity in front of their child! More secrets then anyway!

Sometimes some things are better left unsaid.

[Thermonuclear Warrior]

I stilli lack the balls (figuratively) to discuss this problem with my parents. I may never do it, but I know for a fact that I will be open about it with any woman I meet with prior to engaging in sex. And I won't label it as a weakness, I will just be blunt about it and probably laugh about it seeing as in the grand scheme, we are all fractions of a second on the cosmic calender - (Carl Sagan)

[Wastedlife]

I hinted to my mom I might have small penis, she laughed it off and I dropped it...I'm 6'1 230 pounds (workout) so its really hard for people to picture me with small penis. Its really disgusting the way small penis looks on a big guy.

[Thermonuclear Warrior]

Go up to your mom, and laugh at her for having a wide vagina, it won't be awkward at all. How do I hint to my mom that I have a small penis? She's a foreigner and is nearly 60 years old so in her day, the penis did not get nearly as much attention in the media as it does now. She will probably tell me that there is no such thing...and brush it off as well.

I am 5'6 1/2 with exactly 5 inches, so my proportions are not out of the ordinary, but I am below average in all physical dimensions. At least you ave above average in height and I am sure that probably feels pretty damn good.

[clover]

Totally agree, confidence is king!

[dvnJ22]

Being 5 inches isn't really bad. try being 3 1/2 like me -- I am basically a borderline freakshow.... I'm so pathetic....

[Jessie]

you are not a freak show. People of your size have sexual experiences and even get married.

Sure, you need a thicker skin than average and have to be a bit philosophical about things but take heed of the girls on here who have explicitly said they could love men like us.

I am not far off you size- and I have had 4 full relationships.

Just pick carefully, take it slowly, dont fall in love too quickly and be confident- work hard in and out of the bedroom and see what happens.

At least you can say to yourself you gave it your best shot...

[dvnJ22]

what philosophy do you think would help?

[Recluse]

dvn, Is your girth adequate? If it is you have a shot. You can lie and say it is 4 inches if it ever comes up. Sure things will be tougher but if your girth is adequate you can still pleasure your partner. Girth is the main measurement involved with pleasure. If your girth is 4 inches like mine, I don't know what to tell you.If it is 4.5 and above, you have a real good chance.

[Thermonuclear Warrior]

For all I know, I'm rounding to 5. Regardless, I'm roughly (may be rounding up) to 5 inches in length and my peak girth is roughly 4.75 with a range of 4.4-4.75. I have small penis syndrome and not a small penis by definition. However, society deems these measurements as small and that is why I am here.What is considered small to some is different for others. I've read that anything less than 5 is considered small. Well what about exactly 5? How is 5 inches different from 4.8 or 4.7. It's riduclous to even imply that 1/5 of an inch could cause a dramatic increase in sensation for the female. Therefore, I am at a questoinable length that I imagine is small by society's standards.

As a kid, i was taught that 6 inches is the average (this was even stated in text books) so it is common knowledge that 6 inches is the societal accepted average, not 5. Despite being below 'average', I do not feel taht the size has any impact on my manhood. I understand there are plenty of males that are less endowed than I am and I sympathize. However, I highly recommend that you stop associating manhood and self worth with penis size alone.

There are numerous poorly endowed yet brilliant men that contribute far more to society than some arbitrary well endowed man. Manhood is not simply determined by your measurements. I'm on the low average or possibly below average. I am also three inches below average in height for the average male in the USA. I still feel more manly than my stereotypical well endowed jock 6'4'' friends. We are socially developed creatures and if we base our worth on flesh and bones, we might as well be considered farm animals.

I understand the depression and the feeling of worthlessness. I personally have had no luck and not much experience with women even after becoming optimistic about this situation. This is precisely why I do not think that a 3 1/2 inch penis would change my life for the worse. I've already come to the conclusion that my future is not pre-determined by my penis. In my social circles, I am a 'freak' show with my measurements just as you lesser endowed people label yourselves. I have anxiety issues around women due more to inexperience. If my penis were mocked at any time, I wouldn't let it bother me because my self worth isnt strictly determined by my sexual prowess. I have encountered women that simply stated that they enjoy penises of all shapes and sizes and that penetration is not the only enjoyable aspect of sex. These are women that were fairly attractive as well. I've also encountered the stereotypical 'I need it big' and I immediately dismissed those types of people from my life. Most woman of moderate intelligence wouldn't determine a man's worth strictly by his penis size.

[Recluse]

I see the point you are making regarding determining one's self worth due to size. I personally do not determine my self worth based on my size. I don't feel that I am worth less than another man who is of adequate measurements. My ability to lead a healthy life is what is affected by my size. As I am a heterosexual male who can't engage in normal sexual relationships with women, It is more challenging if not impossible to develop a healthy outlook on my life and to enact positive changes in my life. I have to work twice as hard to better myself and no matter how much I better myself, I still can't engage in relations with women.

I wish there were no others out there who have girth similar to mine as noone needs this problem in their life. At the same time knowing I'm not the only one is comforting for some reason.

I would love to have your girth. My life would be completely different if that were the case. As your issue is or was genuinely SPS, I wish you the best of luck in improving your situation as your measurements are adequate. Good luck with things.

[Thermonuclear Warrior]

Well just like you, I am unable to have a healthy sexual relationship either. The problem is primarmily mental. Also your definition of healthy is strictly dependent on girth. Several of the women that post here emphasized that there is more to sex than penetration. I've heard that from people in reality, so a healthy sexual relationship can be had by someone with a 4 inch girth. Your length is at the societal average and is actually above average. From a penetrative standpoint, you less limited position wise than I am. I would be very happy to make the exchange in girth for your length. Why does the healthy sexual relatoinship by your definition require an adequate girth?I feel that a healthy sexual relatoinship can be had without penetrative sex at all so your problem is more anxiety based. If i were in your position, I would be happy to be above average in one category. I'm below average in both categories or perhaps I fall into the low part of the average range of both categories. Being on the low end implies that I am smaller than the majority. I understand that this is more or less small penis syndrome, but despite that understanding, my sexual relationships have not improved. Even if i was statistically considered small, my outlook would remain the same. A healthy sexual relationship can be had with a small penis. Check out the success storeis on measurection.

[dvnJ22]

nope, I'm totally screwed, my girth is only 4''. The only hope I have is that one day I'm going to die. The only problem is it's not going to happen for sometime, unless I kill myself. And I know there is nothing to say really, I'm worthless to women.

[Jessie]

but you are not.

im not one for bullshit- I myself HAVE been rejected over the size issue- there are girls, normal girls, that care deeply about size.

But I am sure there are many that are not- several have posted here.

I say, again, they have posted here and are insistent that it matters very little to them.

So you would not be useless to them- its a simple statement of fact.

[Recluse]

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[IrmaJean]

And I know there is nothing to say really, I'm worthless to women.

Dvn, I would immediately find you interesting when you expressed how peaceful you feel in nature. There are a lot of things about a person that can be attractive.