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indianboy

Child hood trauma & Small penis Humiliation

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Hello indianboy... its very sad that you had a horrible experience at boarding school and later at office. But if you ask me thats how indians are. I personally have had very bad experiences with people while at college and generally in life. I have been verbally abused and insulted literally hundreds of times. I am carrying around these hundreds of bad experiences around and its very difficult. But time is a healer and it heals your wounds.

You shouldn't be too hard on yourself for not being "aggressive enough" with the girl. You have been shy from the start, and its not in your nature to be aggressive, atleast not with girls. And neither are you a sissy. If you were a sissy, you wouldn't have given a dozen black eyes to the guys. Thats not what a sissy would have been able to do.

Are you looking for another job currently? Would it be possible for you to take up therapy to counter your shyness around girls, so that you don't face a problem in your next job? The way I see it you already know the reason for your shyness around girls, so now you just have to work on it.

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If you are ready for therapy you should approach the OPD section of a major hospital near your place and ask for a psychologist. You mentioned in another post that you also have all the traits of a schiziod. Mention this also to the psychologist. He will most probably administer you a MMPI test, and then you will be required to follow up with your treatment based on what is on your report.

If you have fantasies of being a war reporter (as mentioned in your other post) then what is stopping you from being one? Going by your own account, you certainly have the personality to be a reporter. Google stuff on how to become one. I think you will first have to become a regular reporter, and then hope that you will be moved to a war zone anywhere around the world. But still I don't think that one can be a war reporter full time unless world war 3 breaks out. Question is, are you willing to become a regular reporter in the hope that maybe some of the times you will be able to fulfill your fantasy of being a war reporter? If you also have interests like foreign affairs and politics then I think you should give being a reporter a shot.

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sorry to hear of your expeiences at boarding school - i had similar experiences and they are very hard to live down - always remember these kids are just saddos!

I had many friends at school who couldnt give a .. about my tiny todger and they are the ones I respected and still respect.

Puberty was the worst and most stressful period and sometimes I wonder how I got through it - especially like you being a shy boy.

Communal showers were the worst (which I always dreaded) as I couldnt hide my 'micro' and some kids could never help wraggging me about it - time and again. After a while I just learned how to ignore them and put it down to part of growing up - sadly after leaving school I still got a few comments or asides when showering after sports etc.

However being happily married with kids - i put it all behind me (or try too?)

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