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Victimorthecrime

No one cares about men

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On 1/20/2020 at 9:52 PM, Victimorthecrime said:

I’ve never had mine checked.  Did you go to a regular PCP or a specialist?  

In America you pretty much have to go to a urologist, but not necessarily.  The first Dr. that tested me and prescribed supplementation was an Internist and also my Primary Care Physician.

On a 200 to 900 scale, I was 175 at 55 years of age. . . my libido was declining.  I must have been higher when younger, but based on my problems (above), not much.

It isn't discussed much, but the 200 to 900 scale is an indication of how much masculinity varies in men.  I'm talking objective masculinity that responds at various stages of development to testosterone, not socially constructed masculinity.  Of course, "moderns" like to think masculinity is 100% social construction!  If so, why do transgender men (biological women) take testosterone and transgender women take estrogen?

Of course, many things like genital size react in response to testosterone only at specific periods:  in the uterus and puberty.

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You have to manipulate your doctor to an extent.  You will get nowhere saying you want to be more naturally aggressive.  It seems accepted to say your sexual libido is flagging.  Generally, they won't ask for details about what you mean, but you can say you just don't feel like sex anymore since you aged.

Testosterone supplementation is thought "OK" to compensate for the decline that occurs as many men age.

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7 hours ago, uptight outasight said:

It isn't discussed much, but the 200 to 900 scale is an indication of how much masculinity varies in men.  I'm talking objective masculinity that responds at various stages of development to testosterone, not socially constructed masculinity.  Of course, "moderns" like to think masculinity is 100% social construction!  If so, why do transgender men (biological women) take testosterone and transgender women take estrogen?

Biology is destiny. I’ve said it for years. I think it’s attributed to Freud.  
I probably should have mine checked but will probably procrastinate it until it no longer matters.  Story of my life.  But I’ll let you know if I do.  Thanks for the info.  

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12 hours ago, Victimorthecrime said:

Biology is destiny. I’ve said it for years. I think it’s attributed to Freud.  
I probably should have mine checked but will probably procrastinate it until it no longer matters.  Story of my life.  But I’ll let you know if I do.  Thanks for the info.  

How you feel matters, but I well understand it might not change your life much.  If you react anything like I did you would be happier even if your life course is set.

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Here is an embarrassing story  that illustrates "how I was" as a kid.  I don't think I've ever recounted it or a similar incident to anyone prior to this.  Normally, I avoid thinking about it:

A stereotypical incident:  I recall back in 4th grade, not joining in baseball, basketball or football play at recess but, instead, walking around talking or watching with so-called brainy sissies.  I remember my mother being outraged when she stopped at the school for a meeting or something and became aware of this behavior.  She focused on the fact I was actually fairly good at baseball, so there was no reason for that behavior.  She rejected the sissies because they all "threw like girls."

She embarrassed me terribly by forcing me into the informal scrub baseball game my peers were enjoying.  After that I made efforts to be included and often was though it was very difficult for me especially as I was thereafter tagged as a Moma's boy and ridiculed for hanging out with the sissies.  Exactly opposite results sought by my mother!  Many similar things happened over the years

 

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On 1/22/2020 at 5:50 PM, Victimorthecrime said:

Wow it sounds like your parents really liked to meddle and to make matters worse in a rather ham handed way.  

Probably should have mentioned my mother was a gym teacher who quit work to have kids.  Also, her amphetamine addiction resulted in sleep paralysis "spells" not acceptable for a teacher!  She convinced doctors she had narcolepsy and needed amphetamines to function.  Amphetamines were not strongly regulated back then.

Because I was afraid my mother would show-up at recess and catch me with the sissies, I would stand near the boys when they were organizing for a game and they would usually include me especially when they discovered I wasn't a basket case as far as skills went in baseball, football and basketball.

That summer after 4th grade my parents insisted I join "little league" baseball.  I fought and cried and had tantrums to avoid it as I knew I would be humiliated.  I even hid when the time came.  I was rejected by all the coaches because, obviously, I lacked the personality for team sport participation.  So, my father became a coach with my mother as his assistant and formed a new team so I could play!

By the summer after 6th grade, I was one of the best pitchers in the "major" league of "little league" and we won the championship. . .  totally absurd!  I never joined in the camaraderie with any of the other kids on the team.  My father used his influence to get a lot of good players.  After winning, we had a swimming party at our sponsor's mansion.  He had an indoor pool.  Yeah, I noticed all the boys had larger penises than me when we changed, but it wasn't a huge issue yet--I noticed none maturing yet.  They joked among themselves about penis size, but didn't target me probably because they feared my parents. 

Each team had a commercial sponsor to help pay expenses.  My father began to control the league by using his contacts to obtain sponsors.

 

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On 1/23/2020 at 6:57 PM, Victimorthecrime said:

@uptight outasight that is incredible. I’m not sure what drives such behavior.  My parents were quite the opposite. Any ambition I had they always gave a low key vibe of “why bother / it’s foolish” w/o actually saying that. 

Yeah, I think my upbringing was a rarity, but so was my extreme anti-social nature.  I was aware of many parents pushing their sons very hard to be successful in athletics, but not with an extremely shy, anti-social kid.

My parents were ALSO upset I didn't want anything nor want to do anything nor have any ambitions.  Here is a weird one:  I was paid for doing chores on our semi-rural property with the idea that when I became a teen I should have money for dating, etc.  Of course, I had a very late puberty and, therefore, never dated until my last year of College when I started drinking!  My mother harassed me about that though my father didn't (I guess because he never dated until he was 30.)  

Just to embarrass me completely, my mother once approached the bevy a cheerleaders after one of my basketball games and asked why none of them ever dated me?  Stunned, one volunteered I didn't seem interested, implying I might be "a queer".  My mother alternated between denying I was behind in sexual development and claiming it didn't matter.  Perhaps she secretly feared I was "a queer".  I've suspected and she might have known that my father had a secret homosexual side, not dating women until he was 30 and spending a lot of time at the YMCA.

I guess I should give my mom a break.  She was a pill head and often inappropriate!

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On 1/23/2020 at 9:09 PM, uptight outasight said:

Yeah, I think my upbringing was a rarity, but so was my extreme anti-social nature.  I was aware of many parents pushing their sons very hard to be successful in athletics, but not with an extremely shy, anti-social kid.

My parents were ALSO upset I didn't want anything nor want to do anything nor have any ambitions.  Here is a weird one:  I was paid for doing chores on our semi-rural property with the idea that when I became a teen I should have money for dating, etc.  Of course, I had a very late puberty and, therefore, never dated until my last year of College when I started drinking!  My mother harassed me about that though my father didn't (I guess because he never dated until he was 30.)  

Just to embarrass me completely, my mother once approached the bevy a cheerleaders after one of my basketball games and asked why none of them ever dated me?  Stunned, one volunteered I didn't seem interested, implying I might be gay.  My mother alternated between denying I was behind in sexual development and claiming it didn't matter.

I guess I should give my mom a break.  She was a pill head and often inappropriate!

Probably my mother didn't do that "just to embarrass me."  That's how it effected me, though.  I was already afraid the girls thought I was a "queer".  That confirmed it, making it totally impossible for me to approach any of them like I would have liked to do.

She simply could not accept my nature, felt guilty she was responsible for causing my nature, and out-of-control obsessed about doing something to correct my deficits.  She was also impulsive due to her continuing quite excessive use of amphetamines.

Once she said maybe she should send me to a psychiatrist or psychologist, but added, "they always blame the mother", and so, didn't!  What did she expect me to say?  Send me anyway?  Or, that's OK, don't send me?  Actually, all I remember wanting was for her and my father to leave me alone and stop pushing me.  I was always happy by myself!

Looking back, I can now see that my mother pushed my father into constantly "doing something" to fix me which always consisted in forcing me into organized sports.  When I left Little League fairly successful, my lack of puberty at 13 barred my acceptance by the existing coaches in the more advanced leagues.  So, again, my father used his financial influence to get control of teams and repeatedly made spots for me.  The insanity never stopped.

Oddly, when I finally began to mature at about 16-17 I became a pretty good player and attracted the attention of major league talent scouts which landed me on a freshman team at a major university.  When I discovered the team took a winter trip to warm weather colleges for practice games, I started dreading that I would have to socialize at the athletic fraternities with my team mates.  Everyone but me couldn't wait, because they said it was like a "sex vacation".  Having never dated, I felt I would look the fool and quit, to the rage of my parents who never learned the real reason.  I just told them I wasn't doing very well by comparison to the other guys.  There was truth in that!  A large % of the team actually made the major leagues, BTW.  You might recognize some of their names if you followed baseball around 1970.

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