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goose

Still numb

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I'm sorry for the loss of your father, Goose.

I agree that loss and each loss we experience may affect us differently. I would think that what you are going through now is a part of grieving for you. Maybe it takes more time to feel different emotions? I hope you can be very accepting of and gentle with yourself.

Take care.

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Thank you for your replies. We were anticipating my Dads death Ian, so it makes perfect sense what you say about grieving while he was in decline. Also I am afraid that I am supressing my emotions. You know IrmaJean you have said what my therapist said is very important, ie acceptance. I feel guilty about not grieving hard for my Dad, I expected to be absolutly devestated, so I am confused.

Goose

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I hear that you are feeling guilty.

I think that grief and loss are very personal experiences. All of us have to find our own way of coping and finding a path to serenity. You may feel many emotions or you may not. Some feelings may take longer to surface. Anything you are feeling is okay to feel. If you are suppressing your emotions, possibly this is where you need to be right now? Perhaps this is a part of your journey to healing? It's always okay to be you.

If you are feeling uncomfortable with your response, I think it would be a good idea to express your concerns with your therapist. We are here to listen and support you as well. I hope you will be open to and gentle with yourself. Take care of you, Goose.

Have I mentioned that I love your avatar? (I may have.) It is very beautiful.

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It's certainly natural to try to postpone grieving, Goose dear. And who says you're not devastated? In fact, it may be that you're so afraid of how devastated you are (or expect to be) that you're refusing to let yourself know. On the other hand, it may be possible to be devastated and survive; in other words, you may be more afraid than you need to be. Could it be a case of being more afraid of the fear than of what you're afraid of?

I'm sorry about your dad.

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Mark you are right I was so afraid of acknowledging his death that I totally blanked it out. It has now hit me like a ton of bricks - I went to his house with my siblings to sort some stuff and when I saw his empty bed I got very distressed. My mood has got quite low - the worst part is total lack of interest in anything. I can put up with the sleep disturbance and lack of appetite and the tearfulness. I also am quite irritable all the time - even the poor dogs annoy me. This is a totally different reaction to my mothers death, I grieved hard for her but there was no drop in mood. I am working hard at not giving in. I am going out and about, socialising, even though I'm not enjoying anything right now - I'm just hoping it will pass in time. I am so grateful to have this forum to come to.

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I'm sorry you are feeling sad, Goose. :( It hurts losing someone we love. Grief can bring up so many different emotions. Your response and feelings may be different with each loss as well. Have you been expressing your feelings to your therapist? It always helps me to connect with the love inside my heart and know that it stays with me always. What soothes you, Goose?

I am glad you find it helpful to come here and express yourself. We are here to support you.

Take gentle care.

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IrmaJean I saw my therapist yesterday. I always benefit from my visit. We did some mindful meditation which I found very relaxing and hope to practice this every day. This does soothe me especially when my anxiety is at a high level. I think I need to think about and talk about my Dad more, blanking it out is not helping. I will meet with one of my sisters at the weekend and we will chat about him. Thank you for listening.

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